RE: Ad hominem d/s

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RE: Ad hominem d/s - 8/14/2005 5:53:38 PM

la90066

Posts: 177
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Personally, I could care less what position a sub/slave has on a particular topic/issue -- as long as it's an INFORMED one.

That being said, however, I have insisted at a certain point when both individuals have stated their case that the discussion end. Otherwise, it just becomes repetitive.

(in reply to junecleaver)

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RE: Ad hominem d/s - 8/14/2005 7:38:19 PM

EvO

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/30/2005
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Seems like as good of a place as any to make my first post here.

Here is my views and how I move along in my relationships.

We are all human beings so it is inherent that we will not always agree. I value my submissives opinion and will always listen to it. But it does not mean I will always agree, nor always comment on it. At the root of most arguments is something pety. The root is rarely ever the topic of discussion. So being the cool, calm, collected person, as the Dominant should always be *cough*, it is our responsibility to figure out where the root of the argument is coming from. Direct the attention to that point, handle it and be done. Continuing on with a pety discussion can only lead to resentment, it may be temporary but some form of bad feelings will come out of it in the end. It is the Dominant's responsibility to handle the situation and get it back under control.

So what is the right way to qualm an argument that has gone out of control? Rather a generalized question if you ask me. For one, it depends on the two people arguing, secondly it depends on the subject matter. Each situation has to be taken individually. As I've said it is the Dominant's repsonsibility, but I do not agree he/she should just say, zip the lip. Part of the role we have taken on is one of control. That goes far beyond telling someone what to do. That means you need to be in control of yourself first and foremost. So ultimately the Dominant has to use all resources at their disposal to end the argument in a rational, calm way. It's not productive to make the submissive seem ignorant for their point, but nor is it productive to keep arguing over a subject neither are willing to give on.

I am not even completely sure this has answered or even come close to the topic. Just my views. Take em or leave em.

(in reply to junecleaver)

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RE: Ad hominem d/s - 8/14/2005 7:41:52 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
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Nope, not with one of mine, never had the need. I have told a submissive I was mentoring that she was simply wrong about her ideas and would learn better through experience if she wasn't wise enough to take my word for it.
Timothy

(in reply to Veav)

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RE: Ad hominem d/s - 8/14/2005 11:08:08 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Veav

Be honest... you dominants, have you ever used your position over a submission to end an ideological debate by saying "I'm your master, therefore I'm right and you're wrong, that's the end of it"?

Within the lifestyle? No its not my way. I’ll happily use my authority to shut down a situation if it is getting out of hand or at least put it on hold till I decide it’s time to continue the discussion. Outside the life style <VWEG> Well that enters into Mind Fucks doesn’t it? When the occasion arises where I deem it advantageous to do so, I’ll totally mind fuck somebody leaving them a nervous wreck and compliant. That is good business dealings with opposition. Yep I’m a complete bastard when I’m protecting me and mine, it becomes the situation where God is not in the house and there are no rules.

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RE: Ad hominem d/s - 8/14/2005 11:32:29 PM

brightspot

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My Domina would never use our power dynamics to cut me off or stop a conversation.
She doesn't think because I am submissive, I am stupid, in fact she treasures me intellectually and when we have discussions she will always listen to my words with respect and openmindedness.

But in an instance where we are to be going on and on about something, She will put a stop to it but only until a time we can both have time to think and chill emotionally, to come back to it again. I respect Her decision to do so, it works well for us.
Also, if She feels I have the better idea or realizes I am the one making more sense, She never hesitates to admit it and stroke my sense of self as being Her Smart Girl.

*Brightspot

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RE: Ad hominem d/s - 8/15/2005 2:07:25 AM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
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A debate is simply another learning opportunity. Idealogical debates are fascinating and powerful in delving deeper into my partners understaning as well as his or her stance on a particular topic.

The only time I would pull the "Dom Card" is simply in the mechanics of the debate. As in starting it, stopping it, or directing it to fit into the rest of reality. (ie, we need to go to bed now, we'll continue this tomorrow, or "I love this debate, but we need to work on dinner plans before it get's too late.")

Communication is always good. My partner, whether they are a companion, submissive or slave, should always be at least my intellectual equal. Providing me with more opportunities to learn is a service to me in many ways. Providing me with new perspectives and data to bolster, change, or even cast doubt on my previous understandings of certain concepts is in the end helping me perfect myself.

Purr

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Post #: 26