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RE: death - 12/3/2007 4:16:18 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Ai,

My sincere regrets in your loss of your Mistress. I had a real deep depressing period that I went through loosing my first slave and then the second slave.

In loosing anybody who has attached themselves to the heart and soul of your being, is like a major rip, tearing and or removal of an important part of your body. Unlike surgery, where there is a series of stitches, bandages and care--an emotional death isn't easily seen or handled--it goes to looking inside and take the time you need, not our time (in a general sense)--to grieve, to heal and to decide to look forward and move on.

{{Hugs if wanted/needed}}

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Ai)

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Post #: 21

RE: death - 12/3/2007 4:59:42 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ai

Hello everyone,

I have no idea whether it is right to post this here or not, but I will try.
My Mistress died yesterday morning and I don't know how to cope
with the situation. My life is so empty, I miss her so much and don't
know what to do. I loved her more than anything and now she is gone,
forever. She was always there when I needed her, built me up when I
thought I couldn't go on anymore and gave my life a purpose, a place
and most important her love and care.

Really, I am lost and my life has lost its colour for she was my light,
my hope, my love.

I don't know what to do. Please, I would be very thankful for any advice
you can give me.

I empathize with you *huggz*

My mother passed away the Saturday after Thanksgiving . We were very
very close.

I think that makes three close deaths on the board now, "they" say death comes in three's, hope this means no one else here will have a
Blue Christmas, or however your blues happen to be .

Missy.

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to Ai)

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Post #: 22

RE: death - 12/3/2007 5:02:07 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ai

Hello everyone,

I have no idea whether it is right to post this here or not, but I will try.
My Mistress died yesterday morning and I don't know how to cope
with the situation. My life is so empty, I miss her so much and don't
know what to do. I loved her more than anything and now she is gone,
forever. She was always there when I needed her, built me up when I
thought I couldn't go on anymore and gave my life a purpose, a place
and most important her love and care.

Really, I am lost and my life has lost its colour for she was my light,
my hope, my love.

I don't know what to do. Please, I would be very thankful for any advice
you can give me.

I empathize with you *huggz*

My mother passed away the Saturday after Thanksgiving . We were very
very close.

I think that makes three close deaths on the board now, "they" say death comes in three's, hope this means no one else here will have a
Blue Christmas, or however your blues happen to be .

Missy.

Oh, dear. I'm sorry, brightspot.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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Post #: 23

RE: death - 12/3/2007 5:14:53 PM

JinxsAria

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline

*hugs Ai*

I recently lost my first Master, who wasnt my Master at the time of His passing and was sick for 5 years before He died, and it still really hard for me to cope.

What helped me was giving myself time and permission to feel miserable. I have a lot of guilt tied to His death, and acknowledging it made me feel a little bit better. It took two absolutely terrible, fragile days, two tiptoey eggshell days, and another two awful days before I could even fully process things. After that first week, I allowed myself occassional moments of sadness, but told myself I wasnt allowed to be miserable anymore-I knew He wouldnt have wanted me to be moping around about it. Life goes on, and so should I. Dont take this to mean Im over Him or the situation, because Im not....I just dont let myself get consumed by it anymore.

I know your situation's a bit different, it may very well take you longer to process things, but I think that acknowledging and permitting your feelings but sort of putting a timelimit on it may help.

(in reply to Hergirl0824)

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Post #: 24

RE: death - 12/3/2007 6:20:18 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ai

Hello everyone,

I have no idea whether it is right to post this here or not, but I will try.
My Mistress died yesterday morning and I don't know how to cope
with the situation. My life is so empty, I miss her so much and don't
know what to do. I loved her more than anything and now she is gone,
forever. She was always there when I needed her, built me up when I
thought I couldn't go on anymore and gave my life a purpose, a place
and most important her love and care.

Really, I am lost and my life has lost its colour for she was my light,
my hope, my love.

I don't know what to do. Please, I would be very thankful for any advice
you can give me.

I empathize with you *huggz*

My mother passed away the Saturday after Thanksgiving . We were very
very close.

I think that makes three close deaths on the board now, "they" say death comes in three's, hope this means no one else here will have a
Blue Christmas, or however your blues happen to be .

Missy.

Thanks so much Tjo!
(hope you don't mind the abreveation).

Missin' Miss.

Oh, dear. I'm sorry, brightspot.

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

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Post #: 25

RE: death - 12/3/2007 7:51:55 PM

sensubmaybe

Posts: 101
Joined: 10/30/2007
Status: offline

I too am sorry for your loss. I lost someone close recently too. I won't say I know what you are going through because we are all different. It takes time to grieve. You life has changed forever. There are no shortcuts...you have to feel your pain. But remember, from the depths of grief, you are alive, there is world of life around you...waiting...whenever you are ready.

(in reply to jeffman1234)

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Post #: 26

RE: death - 12/3/2007 10:09:52 PM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

Ai, I think it's very good for you to reach out to others here and elsewhere. I am sorry to hear of your loss and wish you well in working through what must be a very difficult time.

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Post #: 27

RE: death - 12/3/2007 10:23:36 PM

slvcari

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Ai-

I am sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers. Although I am pagan I can and will ask my wiccian sisters to also send you healing energy as i will. Physically yes she is gone but that doesn't mean she really is , my great great aunt (whom also has gone to the other side as of last christmas) had a saying which i wish to share to you and any one else going through this. "As long as I remember who they are/were (more then just his/her name))and can still identify them in a photo then they aren't gone when i can no longer do that, then that is when they are truly gone".. Avis Tice (1903- 2006)

As long as I remeber my great aunt and the time i was blessed to share with her then she will forever with me and not gone.

I'm available if you need someone to talk to. hope this helps

slvcari

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Post #: 28

RE: death - 12/3/2007 11:42:31 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

*hugs*

When you're ready:
http://www.grief-recovery.com/

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Post #: 29

RE: death - 12/4/2007 4:27:42 AM

Posts: 6
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline

Brightspot, I am also very sorry for the loss of your mother. This must have been absolutely devastating and I can truly feel you for I am very close to my mum as well. How do you feel now?

Slvcari, I your word are very true indeed and I will try to remember them whenever I feel down. Thank you.

The five stages of of grief? I have hear about that once, but never looked it up reall for it has never been necessary. Now I really am considering to have a look, just to find ways to cope with the situation. You know, I was awake all night, thinking of her and asking myself why she had to leave, how this could ever happen. I could not even say I love you, nothing, she just went without those words. I regret not having been able to say so, I really do.

To all of you, thank you for the kind words and the hugs. I gladly accept them and feel honored.

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Post #: 30

RE: death - 12/4/2007 7:28:25 AM

slvcari

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/22/2007
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Ai-

you are most welcome

slvcari

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Post #: 31

RE: death - 12/4/2007 6:43:57 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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Ai, do look up the 5 stages of grief, otherwise you may feel unduly troubled by some of the feelings you will have. For example, there will be times when you will feel angry ... really angry ... that She went away and left you alone ... how dare She! That is perfectly normal, one of the stages that most pass through ... but if you don't know that, you could feel really bad, really guilty about having those thoughts and feelings and that just compounds the issue. Like any journey, it's easier if you have a route map ... OK, you still have to travel the road yourself, but at least you have an idea of where you're going and the progress you are making. Look up the map for grieving hon ... while it's not a hard and fast "single route for all", it is a helpful guide.

Also condolences to brightspot and others here who have lost those close to them. In 2001 I had an horrendous year in which I lost 7 people ... not all VERY close to Me, but close enough. Collectively it was a huge burden. Added to that a "boss" (I use the term loosely) who at first refused to let Me go to the last funeral (that of My ex-father-in-law whose family I had been a part of for 16 years and with whom I was still on friendly terms) because I'd had "too much bereavement leave"! I wasn't asking for the whole day ... but half a day would have been good. In the end she allowed Me "two hours" and scheduled meetings either side of that so I had to go over to work first, then hustle down to the funeral (30 min drive), be there 1 hour (the service took most of that as he was a popular man and many got up to speak) and drive straight back and jump straight into another meeting. All I can say to that is she was a bitch (and not the kind you want to submit to!). I left that job at the end of that year even though I had none to go to ... I could no longer work for her. Knowing about grief helped Me a lot that year, especially as for a while there I was in different stages for different people at the same time!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

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Post #: 32