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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 1:18:23 AM   
girlygurl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Honestly? If a guy is bad at kissing, it is a major problem for me. And no amount of wishing will make it change. I find a good kisser is like chemistry, it just works. There is no teaching.


I agree with sexyred!  I can still remember the first kiss with my Sir *sighs* omg! He took my breath away, and still does each and every time He kisses me.  Chemistry indeed! Yummmmm E!

girly

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 1:35:11 AM   
SugarMyChurro


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
I find not being massively self absorbed and narcissistic helped...


...and SimplyMichael makes the blog of shame!




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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 1:56:25 AM   
MissMorrigan


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Ironic, n'est pas?
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
LOL How utterly predictable; so says the woman who had to have the last word in such a benign thread. Go back to your testicle milking thread, dear, I am sure you have more fans who are impressed by your rapier like wit.

I am done with you. Later, babes.

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 2:27:22 AM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


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~~Fast Reply~~

Okay, I can see how sometimes it may take learning a new method from one person to the next, but generally, a decent kisser can pick that up relatively quickly (often within the first few kisses and it continues to improve where you both learn what each other likes).  A bad kisser on the otherhand doesnt seem to pick up on these things quickly, if ever.  Sure you probably can teach a person to kiss you the way you like - but personally, I dont want to spend months or years teaching someone to kiss me the way I want to be kissed.  If we go around telling people, give me three twirls counterclockwise, now nibble on my lip a bit, now tease the tip of my tongue for a few, oh yep, now i want the deep passionate swirls, etc, we'd never be kissing! 

If someone isn't capable of 'going with the flow' after a few tries, I simply become less interested in kissing them. 

There is definately a difference between learning a new person's likes and a flat out bad kisser.  Yes, some bad kissers lack experience and can likely learn if you are patient.  Some simply are stuck in their way and have no desire to learn another method.  If you think the person maybe inexperienced and you like them, by all means suggest they loosen up a bit and follow your lead (or learn to swallow their spit while they kiss).  If you don't have the patience, find a better kisser.

As to how to address the issue, I'd give it a few more kisses first, just to see if its an adjustment period.  If after a few more kisses things don't begin to improve, then explain to them that kissing is important to you and find out how important it is to them.  From there ask them is their style of kissing is the only style they enjoy.  If it is, then you are s.o.l.  If it isn't, ask them if they'd be willing to try a new method and show them what you want.  Their mind will be more conciously focusing on paying attention at that point (hopefully).  Good luck.

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 2:38:47 AM   
CuriousLord


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

My question is HOW can I get either of these guys to be a better kisser without coming out and saying, 'are you trying to suck my face off?' or 'want some crackers then we can try again?' I am normally very blunt and can be honest, but, I want to be tactfull and polite, not always my strength.  Any realistic advice.


Just come out and say it.  Most men aren't exactly going to run off crying if you don't praise every little aspect, particularly something like kissing.  And "dropping hints" is just begging for drama.

---

Out of curiousity, do these guys both know you're dating someone else..?

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 4:00:07 AM   
RCdc


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan

If you are going to use logical reasoning, make it consistent. You said "There is no teaching". People are not born 'good' kissers, it's relative to the individual they are kissing. What works for one, doesn't necessarily for someone else. So, by your 'logical reasoning', how on earth does a person become such a good kisser if it's not through their repeated experiences and learned techniques?


I disagree.  People are 'born' good kissers in a sense - it is a talent.  You could learn and be taught until the cows come home and still be unable to kiss - just like anything.  It's not really being 'born to kiss' - more - born with the apptitude.  If you have no empathy, no amount of 'teaching' can cause you to kiss well.  Like playing the cello - you can be taught but unless you have the ear for music (empathy) and the aptitude, you will never play it well... no matter how much you want to.
 
Kissing doesn't just come down to the teaching or the experience.  You have to have so many other things along with it.
 
Ego being one - empathy is another - and also the ability to learn how not to be consistant.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 4:04:55 AM   
RCdc


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I commented on the post above before your OP because it kind of ran better.  If someone does not have empathy or the aptitude to kiss - ignoring the second for a moment - if they have no empathy, you have to ask yourself if you want to have a relationship with someone who doesn't have that.
 
If you explain their kissing sucks - and they aren't receptive as well, do you really want to be with someone who has no wish to improve, grow or does not understand their own faults?
 
Just two questions I would ask myself if I was kissed by someone incorrectly.
 
the.dark.


< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 12/4/2007 4:05:50 AM >


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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 5:15:09 AM   
MissMorrigan


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I hadn't thought of that aspect and you make a great point.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
I disagree.  People are 'born' good kissers in a sense - it is a talent.  You could learn and be taught until the cows come home and still be unable to kiss - just like anything.  It's not really being 'born to kiss' - more - born with the apptitude.  If you have no empathy, no amount of 'teaching' can cause you to kiss well.  Like playing the cello - you can be taught but unless you have the ear for music (empathy) and the aptitude, you will never play it well... no matter how much you want to.
 
Kissing doesn't just come down to the teaching or the experience.  You have to have so many other things along with it.
 
Ego being one - empathy is another - and also the ability to learn how not to be consistant.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 8:07:15 AM   
UtopianRanger


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quote:

Some people have more of an aptitude for sports, some for kissing, etc.


Some of us have the aptitude for both.

Float like a butterfly sting like a bee.....  ; }









- R


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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 8:17:32 AM   
slaveluci


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I find not being massively self absorbed and narcissistic helped...

"Shutters" at the thought.........luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 12/4/2007 8:18:40 AM >


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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 9:15:12 AM   
slaverosebeauty


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To those who offered advice thanks;  I have a place to start from.  I will try to be a bit tactfull and ask how importing kissing is to them and ask how THEY like to be kissed, that might give me some room to manuver and open things up.  Otherwise, I'm thinking of gum for the guy who is like a hoover, and asTermyn8or said, the extra might make for some fun if things progress that way.
 
Please remember, I have only had 2 dates with each of these guys and do plan on seeing them each at least one more time.  Keep the [viable] advice coming. 

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 10:29:37 AM   
Politesub53


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Sometimes we blame people for being bad kissers, not stopping to think the problem may be us

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 11:06:25 AM   
popeye1250


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In "Sailor Talk" kissing = "swapping spit."


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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 12:58:37 PM   
Stephann


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Briefly,

Without intending to brag, I know kissing is something I'm good at.  When I'm with someone who doesn't kiss well (in the past year I can think of two or three girls off hand) I simply place my hand on her chin, and I kiss her.  By controlling the distance and pressure involved, they were less likely to hoover me, slobber me, or 'run away.' 

Obviously, that might be trickier for a submissive who wants to be 'kissed' perfectly, so it might help to think "I'm just showing him what and how I like it."

Stephan

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 1:40:04 PM   
slaverosebeauty


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WOW.  I think its hilarious that some of these guys are so rude and pointing fingers at me, sheesh, I'm NOT kissing you, so get over it {mental note, don't kiss any of the guys on the boards that have fragile egos; that's not gonna be a problem}.  I made a few calls while I was out running erronds and asked a few guys I have kissed how my technique was and I asked them to be brutally honest, no complaints for the most part, just that I wasn't always interested in kissing or I had a tendancy to bite at times, lol. 
 
Politesub53, you are NOT polite, if you can't be nice, then don't say anything at all.  Didn't you learn that?! That's called being 'polite' sub.
 
Popeye1250, one of the guys IS reserve Navy [he was a fighter pilot for years], lol; wanna guess which one? Does that change things or what I can do?
 
Stephann, thanks for the advice, I will have to try using my hands to help 'manuver' things.
 
Looks like I will get my chance to practice some of the suggestions later tonight.  Keep the [good] ideas and suggestions coming.  

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 1:45:46 PM   
Stephann


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To boot, using hands makes kissing a more tactile and intimate experience.

Careful not to do it on someone, unless you want them to follow you home

Stephan


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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 1:50:24 PM   
sexyred1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

red, I hope you are not running away.

Actually the first line of this would be different.

How about something constructive. Now I am not saying I am good, but sometimes I can wrap my toungue around your's and pull. Only a little bit, there is no traction, well unless one of us is a lizard or something.

As a Man I would always be interested in learning how to please Women, it's kinda a thing with us. But I need to know more about what you want. And no two Women are the same either. But getting general, I think those who have been fueling this thread owe us a little bit in the way of explanation.

I know that it can't get too detailed but the major point of it should be brought up. Do you want me to play and peck, nibble your lip, or do you want my tongue pretty much down your throat ? There comes a time you want something to invade you down there, is that true on the top as well ?

This is a legitimate question, what do you want, a dance inside the mouth, or a forceful thing ? One girl told me to blow into her, but another hated that. Biting the tongue is another issue. Not really biting, but nibbling. Some want, some don't.

Let's put it this way, I need to know what you want, I simply cannot read your mind. You must express yourself. You might try tact if the guy is otherwise good. The slobbery guy, put a cracker in your mouth, play around that. Tell him why. Because when it gets down and dirty you might just not mind his slobber all over your hoo ha. And you might miss out on a guy who could take you to the moon because you can't utter a few simple words. Or can't find them.

But finding the words is another story, you do not want to offend, but then you were looking for a Man right ? Do you want one with an ego so fragile that you can't even tell him what pleases you and what does not ?

Please don't let me have the last word on this.

T


Hey T, I would never run away from an intelligent discussion, I just got back on just now and returned to the thread. :)

I really do appreciate your points above. I can see why it might be hard to know what a woman wants. In other activities; let me blunt if I may, such as oral sex...a woman can easily communicate to a man how she likes it, or how to touch her breasts, or if she likes rough sex or gentle, slow lovemaking.

But for some reason, when it comes to kissing, it does not seem as if anyone actually ever discusses ways to kiss. I cannot remember a time in my life when I told a guy HOW to kiss me or when a man asked me how I would want to be kissed.

I also think this has nothing to do with ego; despite some other posters failing to see humor in what I wrote, not my problem. I think confidence is more like it. I also think you can feel confident knowing you are a good kisser simply from feedback. If your feedback has been amazing, then it stands to reason, you are good at it, no? When I said I was born good, I was being facetious, which only .dark seemed to get; she knew I meant aptitude.

Anyone I had amazing chemistry with, we just kissed perfectly together. Now I will say this, that a few times, I kissed someone and it was not earth shattering, but later on, if I ended up in a relationship with them, the kissing just got better, but it was not because of a discussion; it was because our chemistry further developed.
You can also show someone by example how to kiss, but if they don't mimic it back within a reasonable amount of time, what do you do? Say, hey dude, you are so not kissing me like I am kissing you? Not very submissive, is it?

So perhaps I have missed out on some great guys, but even as a great communicator on all levels, somehow to me, kissing, should not require much conversation.


< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/4/2007 1:53:38 PM >

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 1:55:01 PM   
Stephann


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When giving direction during oral sex, the man's face is the same distance from the womans as it might be if he were standing in a room with her, talking about lunch.

During kissing, we're extremely intimate.  We're face to face.  Many people aren't comfortable even having their eyes open when kissing, because they're simply too close to each other.

The only time we're close to another human as we are when we kiss, growing up, are our own mother.  Go figure, it's intimate.  It's hard for many people to tell someone else what to do, or how you feel, when you're as close as you are with your mother.

Stephan


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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 2:03:16 PM   
slaverosebeauty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
To boot, using hands makes kissing a more tactile and intimate experience.

Careful not to do it on someone, unless you want them to follow you home

 
What do you mean follow me home?? We are gonna be at his 15 acre ranch by the river. {giggles}
 
I kiss my eyes open at times, but they usually end up shut; I love the intimacy of the country.
 
Hands. Face. Intimacy. Not going home til the next morning. Got it.      

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RE: Kissing bad kissers - 12/4/2007 2:25:47 PM   
philosophy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SugarMyChurro

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
I find not being massively self absorbed and narcissistic helped...


...and SimplyMichael makes the blog of shame!






...we have a blog of shame? Where?

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