Too Much Truth (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 7:23:02 AM)

I've been thinking about this on and off for a bit.  It's come up again because of some of My feeling regarding some posts that I have made.  I almost started to name the thread "Too Much Information" but I didn't want it to become a wanker thread.

Over the course of My time here on CM, I've made My best attempt to make My posts and replies to others to be a real reflection of what goes on in My real life.  It might not always be the most popular opinion, or the most interesting, but I do it to illustrate how I live day to day.  Sometimes, I fail at this, because I don't consider Myself the most articulate person on the planet, but I do My best.  I make My best attempt to give others a look through My eyes, show them a glimpse of My world, even if that world doesn't especially fit them.

I really have no intention of changing all of that.  Where My question lies is in this:  Do you think there is any value to this method for the general board reading population?  Are there times that too much truth isn't especially what this CM community wants?  Does it come down to people being more interested with the fantasy, rather than the reality? 





toservez -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 7:49:34 AM)

I enjoy this message board for its diversity. This diversity is going to bring the whole rainbow of why people are on here and what they enjoy or get out of the postings.

Personally I applaud people who write in their experiences of real time but since I try to do that as well so I am probably bias. I think there is nothing wrong with the many who choose to write their vacuum theory propaganda as well as much of the philosophy expounded on has a solid foundation principals.

The fact is one’s reality might not be another just likes one’s theoretical beliefs might not be another’s. I like to treat the people I read and what I write as they are like me which is to say sane and not stupid. I hope they are also like me and take from anything written on here and filter through their own brain and take the good and ignore the irrelevant and bad.

I believe diversity of experience, theory and any other things along with diverse people can only be a good thing.



MistressDolly -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 7:51:11 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I've been thinking about this on and off for a bit.  It's come up again because of some of My feeling regarding some posts that I have made.  I almost started to name the thread "Too Much Information" but I didn't want it to become a wanker thread.

Over the course of My time here on CM, I've made My best attempt to make My posts and replies to others to be a real reflection of what goes on in My real life.  It might not always be the most popular opinion, or the most interesting, but I do it to illustrate how I live day to day.  Sometimes, I fail at this, because I don't consider Myself the most articulate person on the planet, but I do My best.  I make My best attempt to give others a look through My eyes, show them a glimpse of My world, even if that world doesn't especially fit them.

I really have no intention of changing all of that.  Where My question lies is in this:  Do you think there is any value to this method for the general board reading population?  Are there times that too much truth isn't especially what this CM community wants?  Does it come down to people being more interested with the fantasy, rather than the reality? 





I've always appreciated your interesting, positive and most of all - informative - posts....



mistoferin -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 7:55:50 AM)

LadyPact,
I have found that most people say they value truth, but in reality there are very few people who actually want it or can handle it. When I post or respond I can only do so from my own perspective...and that is a perspective of reality. Sometimes that truth does collide with their fantasy, but that fact does not deter me.



RumpusParable -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 7:56:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact Do you think there is any value to this method for the general board reading population? 
 
 
I think there's a value to it, definitely.  But I, too, wonder at time these questions... I think the value lies the same as with any discussion:  those who are willing and able to listen, who are open to considering what is said, will gain from it and for that reason things are worth saying.  When we talk, we're rarely lucky enough to find someone who we can really converse with... but those times we find them are what makes it worth it.  Those rare times both we and the other(s) are enriched by the exchange. 

So, yes, I think there's value in such realistic and honest discussion in this (and any) community.

quote:


 Are there times that too much truth isn't especially what this CM community wants? 

 
I have to absolutely say that, yes, this is accurate.  I find most people most places prefer not to have too much truth/reality brought in.  But then, I may just be cynical. ;)
quote:


Does it come down to people being more interested with the fantasy, rather than the reality? 

 
Yes, for many... and in many different ways.  Vanilla, lifestyle, whatever.  I sometimes grind my teeth here on the fantasy vs. reality dissonance just in a single person's post, let alone the general feel of the community's interest.
 
Not saying, of course, that there aren't many level-headed and realistic folks here but that they seem the minority... and that that majority tends to ignore or react negatively to someone like yourself sharing too much of everyday life and relationship truth. 
 
It's the minority, in my opinion, that really make this place.  I enjoy their (and your) posts and they are the main reason I still am involved on these boards.
 
Goodness, aren't I sounding negative?  I'm not meaning to be and don't feel so, but I can't think of any way to state these things that doesn't come across like that.  So I'll end it here.  I hope that my meaning was clear and not too muddled or too negative seeming!



youngpupforBCms -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 7:57:38 AM)

Myself, Ill take reality and truth over fantasy and imagination any day.  Fantasy is nice, and its always somewhere fun to escape to, but at the end of the way it was just that.  I come here, and read over these message boards, and when I reply, I reply with honest to god thoughts and experinces.  I don't know everything their is to know, and I'll be the first to admit it, I hope to learn more though, and reach a better understanding of what I don't know by the honest,truthful, relations of what others do in reality, and I dont want to have things sugar coated for a trip to fantasy land, because thats just that fantasy, and not a whole lot of use really in the real world.  Now I'm not saying that imagination, and fantasy isn't a wonderful thing, but when your actively trying to learn, or post about real life experinces, I think you gotta stick wholly to the reality of things.



chiaThePet -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 7:59:22 AM)

Does this mean I can't fantasize about you anymore?

Crap.

Just keep on doing what you do, being you.

chia* (the pet)



LaTigresse -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 8:01:53 AM)

Fantasy is nice in books or a movie. Collarme represents a facet of my life. For my life I prefer the truth. Wether I like what that truth is, that is irrelevant.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 8:17:02 AM)

I've always enjoyed your posts very much, and I will take someone else's Real Life over anyone's fantasy.



MystressDream -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 8:35:08 AM)

This lifestyle in general is fantasy based.  I just get tired of the ones who can't accept that real life imposes itself into all of our lives. 
 
"No, dear... you cannot live in my basement and be a dungeon slave... never to leave the house... to kneel naked in a corner all day waiting for me to return from work and amuse myself with you.... etc., etc., etc. "
 
Most of us have very vanilla based lives.  Work, family, obligations outside of this lifestyle, etc.  It amazes me how many think that this can be all consuming.  I always say I am looking for a slave who has at least one foot firmly planted in reality.  <grin>
 
I much prefer reading posts from people who share what their real life is like and about, rather than those who appear to be so tightly wrapped up in their fantasy that most people would have trouble even conversing with them.
 
But that's just me........ Each to their own.



aidan -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 8:59:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Fantasy is nice in books or a movie. Collarme represents a facet of my life. For my life I prefer the truth. Wether I like what that truth is, that is irrelevant.

Give that lady the Fair-Day Goose.

Too many people on BDSM community sites (and in the larger BDSM community, I'm starting to find) are wrapped up in this over-romanticized conception of things that has little-to-no bearing on how real people behave or think, and woe be upon anybody who might try to crack that shell of self-delusion and coax them out into the real world where the rest of us are having fun.



stockingluvr54 -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 9:07:55 AM)

LadyP..... don't change a thing....!!!!!



sexyred1 -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 9:20:47 AM)

Great question...I agree with the consensus here. I suppose I am one of the reality based posters for a few reasons. I live in the real world, collarme and BDSM is only a small part of my world, I only contribute my truth as I see it, and I would never offer an opinion on something I have not experienced, unless it was to say that it sounded interesting, etc.

I agree that fantasy has a place in life, but I do not think it has a place when people are experiencing difficulties in relationships where they are letting fantasies overrule their sense, at that point, the forums sometimes become frustrating when you constantly read about someone doing that, offer them intelligent advice and they refuse to take it.

The other thing I find annoying, is when posters who clearly never even experienced real life, hypothesis about the meaning of "true" this or that and put forth a holier-than-thou attitude when we all know they have nothing to base that on from reality.

I don't mind the truth, but most cannot handle the truth. Life is far more complicated than most people want to believe.



Mavis -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 9:32:14 AM)

i used to post here a lot, mostly because i liked sharing O/our somewhat unusual situation, and reminding P/people that there are any numbers of "valid combos" and points of view.   i've posted my truth, my challenges, scuffed shoes and skinned knees, and hoped P/people would be able to have a laugh or a different way of looking at something.  Done a lot of "give a penny/ take a penny" too, and have learned far more than i've taught.

Don't think we can post "too much reality", those who enjoy it, read it, those who don't learn quickly which posts to skim over.  my reason for slowing up on posting is.. i started to feel waaay naked.  i don't mind revealing myself or my feelings on any given day, but damn, it's not like a chat room where the words are gone in a screen.  

Posting here and declaring an opinion i might change later seems to "stake me to the ground" 5 feet from where i am the day i formed the thought.  i posted once about a really brat-spaz i had with Master, and 5 months later i still see the post long after the thing was laid to rest.  HE doesn't stake to to my bad bahaviors by bringing them from the dead, why the hell should i?   Some posts serve a great example lesson, or a chance for a good solid dialogue, but the archival nature of the board also can be a limiting force in my growth-curve.

i'm back here because i liked the dialogue, missed the convos, but i'll be a little more aware of the nakedness factor as i join discussions.  But nooo...  i wouldn't want to see anyone limiting real talk because of some perception that fantasy would be preferred reading! 






laurell3 -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 9:37:03 AM)

I think your posts are fine and seem to be well thought out and polite.  Overall, I'm not sure it's all that important.  I find there are people that chase me to my mailbox to argue, insult, berrate and restate and I have to say, it really is not that important.  It's a forum, pixels, sometimes entertaining, sometimes amusing, sometimes informational, and really nothing more than that.  Do what you think is right for you.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 9:42:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

I enjoy this message board for its diversity. This diversity is going to bring the whole rainbow of why people are on here and what they enjoy or get out of the postings.

Personally I applaud people who write in their experiences of real time but since I try to do that as well so I am probably bias. I think there is nothing wrong with the many who choose to write their vacuum theory propaganda as well as much of the philosophy expounded on has a solid foundation principals.

The fact is one’s reality might not be another just likes one’s theoretical beliefs might not be another’s. I like to treat the people I read and what I write as they are like me which is to say sane and not stupid. I hope they are also like me and take from anything written on here and filter through their own brain and take the good and ignore the irrelevant and bad.

I believe diversity of experience, theory and any other things along with diverse people can only be a good thing.



I will echo this wonderful post, and add that it is not up to me to determine what someone else's fantasy vs. reality is.   Often times someone really wants to attain something but is unaware of their ability (or inability) to do so.  After years of struggling, I've nearly reached my "fantasy life" as my reality.  I find it truly refreshing to read from others who relate to my little universe.

Lady Pact, I would say yes, there are times the community does not want certain truths, but also yes, there is great value in reporting your truth as you see it.

Mavis - it's good to see you back :)



LadyPact -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 10:14:12 AM)

Just checking in on My own thread.  As always, thanks to those who have taken the time to respond.

Rumpus, I'm almost torn on your reply.  See, you get to observe both sides (reality vrs screen time), so it's hard for Me to make a fair assessment on your words.  Having met you in meatlife ( a pleasure, of course), I wonder if that colors the observations a bit.  Mine as well as yours.  Nonetheless, I wouldn't trade either.  BTW, will you be joining the group for some Mexican tonight?

My appreciation to all who mentioned that they prefer the reality over the fantasy.  I think without it, this would be a much different site.  I have a tendency Myself to gravitate towards those who post about the things that are a reflection of who they are away from the computer screen.  It makes the experience more valuable to Me.

My dear, chia, in your special case, a bit of fantasy is a good thing.

For you, stocking, what will you ever do when I travel out your way next year?

Ok, those last parts are a bit tongue in cheek, but even reality would be boring without a bit of fun.





AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 10:26:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Do you think there is any value to this method for the general board reading population?  Are there times that too much truth isn't especially what this CM community wants?  Does it come down to people being more interested with the fantasy, rather than the reality? 



I think your method has real value.  There are reams of fiction about WIITWD, most of it based in wishful thinking and fantasy.  On the other hand, there are damned few places to read about the reality of these relationships.  I think making reality available to CM's readers is a public service.

However, don't expect the voice of  reason and reality to be universally accepted, acclaimed, or embraced.  Some folks prefer fiction and fantasy to non-fiction and  reality.  That's their loss, not yours. 

You should post to express and please yourself...whatever that entails. 



LadyPact -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 10:29:37 AM)

<chuckles>

I hope that means that there are some out there who accept the mundane things, such as making My boy do laundry and fold the socks when the drawer is empty.

Hey, it's boring, but that's real life, toon



RumpusParable -> RE: Too Much Truth (12/4/2007 10:42:26 AM)

LadyPact,

I'm sorry, I'm not sure if it's how you phrased it or what it is, but I'm not understanding your response to me!  I think I'm lost on the part of how having the opportunity to observe you both here and in meatlife would effect my opinion on you're discussing meatlife here... if that's not a jumbled mess of a phrase by me! lol!

No, I'll not be at the meetup tonight as I'm already in NY with family and will be until around the 18th or so.  Speaking of, I wanted to reconfirm on that wine you were interested in while I'm getting some here:  I recall white, yes?  And was it dryer, rather than sweeter?  Or am I mis-remembering?

Smiles from the snowy north,
RP



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