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BDSM as a life tool - 12/5/2007 1:17:16 PM

chickpea

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From: Los Angeles Area
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BDSM is great as a sexual diversion.. But how about other areas in life? For instance, like treating insomnia. Or aerobic excercise? How useful is BDSM out of the bedroom?? Thoughts? ideas? hehe

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RE: BDSM as a life tool - 12/5/2007 1:22:48 PM

DesFIP

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Being told to stay in bed when I wake up in the middle is only successful about half the time. Staying there and being wide awake doesn't cure insomnia. However staying in and not getting cold does help sometimes in falling back to sleep.

For other stuff, well most of us by choice would not do a lot of the things we have to do. Knowing if you don't do the task, you don't keep the job is a great motivator. The balance here is not incurring resentment.

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RE: BDSM as a life tool - 12/5/2007 1:29:34 PM

daddyncherry

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It has been useful in making me face my fears....i can't safeword out of something just cause i'm afraid of it.....like skating and stuff.

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cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

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RE: BDSM as a life tool - 12/5/2007 1:30:54 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear chickpea, Ladies and Gentlemen;

If you look at it, society and civilization have elements of Dominance and submission only, we see it (in general terms) as Authority and subordination.

We, in general can see it in Religion, in Civilian Government, business and life itself, the Military and for those who have a monarchy system--in the ways of the Royals.

There are qualities of BDSM to which can be goals to strive towards and or reach for. We, in general terms can put to use what we, in general; have learned in BDSM.

We, in general terms, understand that respect is earned and good manners are always appreciated however, they are not always a demonstration of respect but, a civil exchange.
We are our own ambassadors and only one responsible for our own life, choices we make and or how we wish to be seen--our reputation. Life has many aspects to it--like a patch quilt...each panel has meaning, purpose and a story behind it.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: BDSM as a life tool - 12/5/2007 1:36:54 PM

whenstarscollide

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

It has been useful in making me face my fears....i can't safeword out of something just cause i'm afraid of it.....like skating and stuff.

I have had similar experiences with BDSM - it shows you that most of the time there is nothing to fear but fear itself (totally cliche, I know, but it's true!). also, sometimes you wind up seeing a side of yourself that you didn't know was there. that can be scary too, but you learn to accept it as an integral part of yourself and you become a better, more well-rounded person for it.

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RE: BDSM as a life tool - 12/5/2007 1:41:54 PM

Tigrita

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I don't like to admit it, because I take pride in handling my own life very well, but knowing he has expectations of me, his suggestions, bordering on orders, to do certain things like exercise first thing in the morning give me that little extra motivation to keep my life running smoothly. I don't need him to do that, I'd still stay fit if he didn't, but it does make it a little easier, and a little more efficient. And I'd feel diminished if he did too much of that sort of thing, I like taking responsibility for things myself, but for certain things it is nice.

Yeesh, that is hard for me to admit since one of the last arguments I had with my vanilla college boyfriend was along the lines of :
him: "You haven't been working out lately and you've been stressed, I think you should start working out again, you'd be happier."
me: "How would you know better than me what would make me happy?! I know how to take care of myself!"

Yeah, I was a little more stubborn and bitter back then... and he wasn't a dominant man.

Oh, another example is he has me spell check everything now. I know it is a good thing, it improves my presentation of myself, it is just something I never considered that important, but he cares, and it is an improvement.

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Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

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RE: BDSM as a life tool - 12/5/2007 5:39:45 PM

daddyncherry

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita

I don't like to admit it, because I take pride in handling my own life very well, but knowing he has expectations of me, his suggestions, bordering on orders, to do certain things like exercise first thing in the morning give me that little extra motivation to keep my life running smoothly. I don't need him to do that, I'd still stay fit if he didn't, but it does make it a little easier, and a little more efficient. And I'd feel diminished if he did too much of that sort of thing, I like taking responsibility for things myself, but for certain things it is nice.

Yeesh, that is hard for me to admit since one of the last arguments I had with my vanilla college boyfriend was along the lines of :
him: "You haven't been working out lately and you've been stressed, I think you should start working out again, you'd be happier."
me: "How would you know better than me what would make me happy?! I know how to take care of myself!"

Yeah, I was a little more stubborn and bitter back then... and he wasn't a dominant man.

Oh, another example is he has me spell check everything now. I know it is a good thing, it improves my presentation of myself, it is just something I never considered that important, but he cares, and it is an improvement.

Yes Yes Yes...this is sooo true....living up to a M's expectations is much easier than me living up to my own...i'm more likely to keep a promise to him or do something that he tells me than to do it of my own motivations......Sad but true.

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Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

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RE: BDSM as a life tool - 12/5/2007 6:01:32 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Anything can be useful to anyone- just depends on what makes YOU particular box tick.

For a lot of people, bdsm would be harmful. For a lot of people, bdsm is great.

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