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ORIGINAL: stella41b

It's just like the chess game. I'm making the moves, you're responding. Only unlike in the real game of chess I'm not playing to win, and so I'm keeping my pawn formation and taking care not to take your rooks or knights. I just want to have you move all your pieces all over the board for me, and each time you make a move I'm watching you like a hawk. As the chess player sizes up an opponent, I'm sizing you up as a Dominant. The skilled Dominant here would also be careful to keep their pawn formation and not take any of my pieces.

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It's just like the chess game. I'm making the moves, you're responding. Only unlike in the real game of chess I'm not playing to win, and so I'm keeping my pawn formation and taking care not to take your rooks or knights. I just want to have you move all your pieces all over the board for me, and each time you make a move I'm watching you like a hawk. As the chess player sizes up an opponent, I'm sizing you up as a Dominant. The skilled Dominant here would also be careful to keep their pawn formation and not take any of my pieces.

Be patient. Your time is coming. Only whilst you're waiting, I hope you're also listening to my 'laundry list of conditions'. These aren't actually conditions, well they are.. they're instructions for you, guidance notes, as you see, being the submissive I am I come with my own manual, instructions and these conditions are there to help you and guide you through my process of submission. At this stage I'm not interested in 'creativity' or 'personal growth'. There's no point. The relationship might fall flat on its face in a month or two, which doesn't leave much opportunity anyway for creativity or personal growth.

Are you ready? Sitting comfortably? Now comes my offer of submission within the range of submission you require. Here we're equal, it's negotiation, but not quite, because you're expected to win here. Unlike the game of chess I'm placing my Queen in a vulnerable position. Are you smart enough to take my Queen? I'm not going to place it in a diagonal position to either your Queen or bishops.

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Why are many submissives so dominant and demanding?

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What is your personal experience with anger in "the Lifestyle"?

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Most seem to enjoy "topping from the bottom" yet calling themselves submissive and/or slaves. Many also place a laundry list of conditions that don't give much room for creativity or personal growth.

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ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

Not long ago, one of the ladies here posted this:

"I don't want to submit......... I want to be dominated."

I have met more than a few who could probably relate to that statement. 

I have also met some who I would consider bottoms and not submissives, and even more who are "situational submissives".  They only submit when the situation suits them.

Some people will only submit from within a perfect box.  Some will eventually expand their box and others will eventually break out of it altogether.  Some may get passed by because of their boxes, and others may find a dominant with a compatible box. 

Ain't people and relationships all complicated and stuff?   

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ORIGINAL: gorgeous1

...ANY SLAVE WORTH HAVING IS WORTH EARNING. .NO THING OF VALUE IS FREE.

this slave also finds oxygen and sunsets and love and sharing to be of great value...and has never paid anything for any of them. 

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

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ORIGINAL: gorgeous1

...ANY SLAVE WORTH HAVING IS WORTH EARNING. .NO THING OF VALUE IS FREE.

false, as far as this slave is concerned. she freely gave her self to Master...he didn't have to "earn" or "buy" her. she trusted him with her life the first day we met in the flesh. HE insisted on a safe call. HE insisted that this slave match the information He was giving with the information on His business website, before we would meet in person, 10 days after our first contact via internet.

this slave also finds oxygen and sunsets and love and sharing to be of great value...and has never paid anything for any of them.

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Let me put it this way. I have had a few subs whom have approached/told me how I was to behave, how and when they would submit. The list goes on. I would say they where simply not polite about it. They would go on the attack with their approach so to speak. I see that many who have replied do not behave in this matter so you may feel insulted or simply I'm not being clear.

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I thought your question was pretty well stated and interesting.  Some specific examples may have been helpful though.  Even from the sub perspective, I have seen those types of subs and I generally consider them more bottoms than submissives in my mind.  There are ways to ask for what you want in a submissive way that comes across as less demanding.  For a long time I've wanted to a demo at one of our clubs on "How to get what you want from your Dom" because I do see a lot being demanding, or whiny.  There can be a subtle art to manipulating your Dom (ok, dont' everyone jump on me now) in a good way.  Even for a Dom you just met, if you are interested, there is a way to appoach them with things you require that aren't as liable to put them off.  I've been complimented many times by Doms about how naturally submissive and well behaved I am.  Sometimes my switchiness makes me a bit sassy, but I also know there are times and places where that is more acceptable than others.

I do prefer subs err on the safe side though when it comes to limtatons during initial negoatiations though, better to be clear and safe than iffy and take chances.  Many Doms respect a sub who knows what they want... if approached in a respectful way in return.




_____________________________

Jewel
Bi, Poly, and Switch... I don't believe in limiting my options
"I'm a bitch, I'm a tease, I'm a goddess on my knees"... Meredith Brooks "The Bitch"

(in reply to ShaktiWithLingam)

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ORIGINAL: ShaktiWithLingam
My quandary is: Why are many submissives so dominant and demanding?