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Have you? - 12/6/2007 5:02:35 PM

Kaiynasha

Posts: 172
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

After an intense scene become emotional yourself? Or become emotional during the actual scene- say a flogging or whipping. Being completely thrilled by it all but just emotionally you feel like crying. I had this happen to me. I wondered if it had something to do with the scene itself or perhaps something personal with me. Which could have been one or the other or both. But I just wanted to gain opinion from others about suddenly getting emotional during a scene and how did you handle it?

_____________________________

"Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability...nothing deepens intimacy
like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins
off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing
to share in the scary stuff"

Post #: 1

RE: Have you? - 12/6/2007 5:16:40 PM

Dolce

Posts: 34
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

I cried during my first paddling. It was a part of my training at the time, and my behind was rather sore. My dom at the time didn't see my tears until after he finished...and I think I scared him :-p I honestly hadn't known what to expect and was shocked at how much it stung. I didn't get quite so emotional after that. :-)

_____________________________

The presence of a noble nature...changes the lights for us: we begin to see things again in their larger, quieter masses, and to believe that we too can be seen and judged in the wholeness of our character. ~George Eliot

(in reply to Kaiynasha)

Post #: 2

RE: Have you? - 12/6/2007 5:21:47 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
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Powerful experiences do have a tendency to shake things loose. It can happen to anyone, and sometimes a top needs more aftercare than the bottom--there are times when "This hurts me more than it hurts you" is really the truth.

(in reply to Kaiynasha)

Post #: 3

RE: Have you? - 12/6/2007 5:32:42 PM

HottLicks

Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline

I've gotten emotional. I love those moments. The look on his face, looking up at me, eyes wide or shocked or just seeing his emotion or love and knowing what is going on with him and how much love there is between us. I love the vulnerablity in his eyes and expressions and know that he looks at no one like he looks at me.

To see a very macho man... a manly man in the world, tough by any standards... a strong man able to meet toe to toe with just about any man alive... who kneels before me... bends before me... lays before me... humbled and vulnerable, submitting to me... well that just triggers me in lots of ways!

Sometimes it is the love and faith... sometimes it is the actual acts we are involved in.... sometimes it is simply because of the frustrations in life that are at that moment, forgotten with the release, but all the same... ours.

I don't think there is anything to really handle since we share everything without any concept that there might be something wrong with any of our emotions. It's just one more thing to share, whatever it is. It's ours and us and is all beautiful.

(in reply to Dolce)

Post #: 4

RE: Have you? - 12/6/2007 5:38:52 PM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

Master loves it when I cry. The first time it happened was shortly after we began playing, when I realized that contract or no, he could literally do what he wanted with me and I would obey. I had serious emotional turmoil, because I love my husband and our rules were agreed upon by all involved (my husband, Master, his wife and I). I felt like a terrible person, a horrible wife, realizing that Master could take me right there and I, in subspace, would not have protested. Of course when I confessed this to my husband upon returning home, he laughed and hugged me and just said, Of course you felt that way. Why do you think I am so careful about who you play with?"
It has happened at other times too. Generally I cry from emotional experiences, rather than physical pain.
We always talk about scenes afterwards and sometimes I know why I've cried and other times it is just part of the cathartic release that being hit and used gives me.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 5

RE: Have you? - 12/6/2007 6:35:33 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Do I cry during or after scenes? No. However, I do get a bit emotional at certain times after playing.

The best description would probably be deep gratitude or appreciation, for the person who has been such a wonderful part of O/our experience together. I let Myself feel that intimacy (not sexual) that W/we have shared. The closeness of it. That it's a moment that is being unique to just U/us. Sure, there have been other experiences and others will follow, but the beauty that I'm sharing, is with this person. They are with Me. In the same endorphin filled state that I am. No one else is in the same place W/we are in that speck of time.

Don't ever let anyone convince you that some of Us sadists aren't emotional.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to beltainefaerie)

Post #: 6

RE: Have you? - 12/7/2007 2:18:59 AM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

I get fairly emotional after an intense session (dislike scene, because it just doesn't sond right for what I do with my lover), and usually deal by holding him close to me, and it usually doesn't progress all the way to tears, but it has a few times. I love it all though, feeling so much that I nearly lose control of me. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to Kaiynasha)

Post #: 7

RE: Have you? - 12/7/2007 4:53:10 AM

catleggs

Posts: 31
Joined: 10/24/2006
From: Gravesend, UK
Status: offline

Well, I don't really get emotional. yea.. I am very focused durring the session, and in tune with the submissive. I love working him to the point of tears and relish his release after the beating is all over.
But me, I tend to take on board all the engery that has been flying around durring the session. I seem to get almost hyper. I know I can be very chatty lol (whatta pain) and feel as though I can do almost anything. Feed the five thousand, part the red sea, etc.. you name it, I'll give it a go. That feeling is short lived, however... only a few hours. After, I hit a kind of wall where I tend to feel very foggy and out of body kind of stuff. Depending on the intensity of the session, it can go on into the next day.

Cat

_____________________________

"I only have 'yes' men around me. Who needs 'no' men?" - Mae West

(in reply to Kaiynasha)

Post #: 8

RE: Have you? - 12/7/2007 6:10:00 AM

MissOchistic

Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline

This has even happened to me during vanilla sex.
I really don't understand if my emotional thought process is being opened in such a way that I think of things that would make me cry, or if it's a chemical reaction. The entire process just often makes me incredibly (and irradically) emotional. It's never been harmful, though. At worst, I need a hug and a few minutes to come down (or up).

_____________________________

"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to catleggs)

Post #: 9

RE: Have you? - 12/7/2007 7:07:38 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

Ive noticed a few times if we have had aintense session ive felt like crying, once I cried my heart out after a flogging session, I had accidentaly caught him where I didnt mean to and felt awful. I later found on here references to domme drop which I put it down to. I always find a good cuddle and chat helps me when I feel like that.

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Proud mistress

(in reply to MissOchistic)

Post #: 10

RE: Have you? - 12/7/2007 8:34:31 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I have cried during and after scenes, positive crying, brought on by the deep submission and trust of my partner or a profound sense of self brought about by a really great orgasm.

If I cried for a negative reason, I'd consider that my wake up call on the dynamic.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Kaiynasha)

Post #: 11

RE: Have you? - 12/7/2007 10:53:53 AM

AMADF

Posts: 66
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline

Theres nothing wrong with crying due to emocional things (not cause guilt, abuse or bad pain) during or after a session. BDSM is sutch an intense play that of course will move things inside us. You show yourself completely to someone that gives himself to fulfull mutual deep and sometimes unconscient desires. Its natural to feel million of wonderfull things, and this things can lead up to crying. Don´t be worry but thankfull with life for felling sucth powerfull things is a consesual enviroment.
I also get emotional after hard sessions, and a couple of times iv cry after hugging my submissives. The feeling that is on my mind in that moment is :thank you for letting me share this gourgeus moment with you.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 12

RE: Have you? - 12/7/2007 10:56:34 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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I struggled with the fact that I was a masochist for many years while entering the lifestyle. However, because I am a masochist I've never struggled with the fact that I'm a sadist. I know that the people I am with desire the intensity/pain and know personally what it means to receive it and even crave it. I have however, walked away thinking that maybe I should feel more remorse/regret/sorrow, etc.

I still cry sometimes as a sub. It isn't because of the pain or feeling badly. Quite the opposite, it's a release of emotion in an intense situation. It may be the same thing on the other side. It's not yet something I have experienced however.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 12/7/2007 10:57:44 AM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Kaiynasha)

Post #: 13

RE: Have you? - 12/7/2007 2:38:11 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Catharsis is a common thing in scenes. Tears of joy and happiness happen all the time, too.

Master Fire

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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Kaiynasha)

Post #: 14

RE: Have you? - 12/7/2007 6:39:23 PM

Kaiynasha

Posts: 172
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

Thanks all for being sincere and open about this question.

_____________________________

"Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability...nothing deepens intimacy
like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins
off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing
to share in the scary stuff"

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 15

RE: Have you? - 12/8/2007 3:00:49 PM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaiynasha

After an intense scene become emotional yourself? Or become emotional during the actual scene- say a flogging or whipping. Being completely thrilled by it all but just emotionally you feel like crying.

I had this happen to me. I wondered if it had something to do with the scene itself or perhaps something personal with me......

But I just wanted to gain opinion from others about suddenly getting emotional during a scene and how did you handle it?

There is such depth to this question! It certainly is a fascinating one. The question is really two important questions:

1 Do you feel an intense emotional response?
2 Why do you feel so emotional?

Few quick thoughts:

BDSM can be a powerful experience. And an expression of love in a loving D/s relationship. There would be something wrong if you felt nothing. A scene can be so beautiful it moves you to tears (as can vanilla sex, apparently,but that has never happened to me

).

You can also feel tearful for less positive reasons.

An intense scene can leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable. Your True Self (which some Doms like to call the inner Beast) has been let off the leash and run rampant for a short time. You have - for a fleeting moment in time - been fully alive. And BDSM got you there.

Ever noticed how time stops during intense BDSM? It feels like you were immersed for a few minutes but you look up to see the scene has gone for 3 hours!! That's the BDSM spiritual experience. BDSM is alternative love for some of us.

This might be overwhelming at first.

Coming down afterwards, something might happen to trigger feelings of shame, guilt, remorse etc You might even feel this way spontaneously. Its very hard to jettison the lessons of childhood such as "nice girls don't hit boys", "nice girls don't do kinky things to get their rocks off", "nice girls are not selfish" etc etc

Your soul soared for a short while, but your ego is back now in control and doesn't like your fleeting bids for freedom one little bit.

Being in "Top Space" can be a scary ride the first few times. Where was I? Who was I? How could I do those things and feel so exhilarated?

We all know that subs go into subspace thanks to endorphins, but an intense scene takes the Top/Domme on a trip to another planet too......and what goes up, must come down.

IMO Dommes need "psychological aftercare" in the form of re-assurance from the sub the scene was great and she is still hugely loved and respected, even after revealing her authentic self: violent, controlling, sadistic and very sexual

The good news is that you are feeling something. You are not emotionally dissociated. Many drawn to domination are - and its very sad for them and their sub partners. But that is a topic for another day.

My only word of caution is that a Domme can be too emotional, in which case something deeper is going on. If emotional repsonse all out of proportion to the triggering event or She is suffering severe mood change, I would suggest counselling*. The scene has brought up an issue she has trouble processing (abandonment? abuse? shame?)

Watch how you feel and ask "why"? Know Thyself. Serenity will follow

* I am not a medical professional. This is a suggestion based on my own life experience

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 12/8/2007 3:10:56 PM >

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(in reply to Kaiynasha)

Post #: 16

RE: Have you? - 12/8/2007 4:04:55 PM

vampchick88

Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline

Its a natural reaction. Its a way of yourself releasing things which may have stressed you, or just a feeling of complete happiness that your not sure how to take in.

_____________________________

Proud owner of rubberpet, the best investment of my time, trust, and heart that any Domme could ever dream of.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 17

RE: Have you? - 12/9/2007 8:19:00 PM

Lureaetagg

Posts: 24
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

The first time I had someone bow at my feet was a very powerful thing for me. It was a very emontional experence and I will never forget that moment.

_____________________________

I am swift darkness taking over your world.

(in reply to vampchick88)

Post #: 18

RE: Have you? - 12/10/2007 4:56:44 AM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

Ive never cried, but if what happens gets Me off extreamly hard, I will laugh hysterically. Ive held a few subs as theyve cried...most say..when asked what is wrong....that it was the fact that they had never had any one be that attentive to them.

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to Lureaetagg)

Post #: 19

RE: Have you? - 12/10/2007 6:44:38 AM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

As a bottom, tears or emotional reaction during and after a scene are pretty common. What I enjoy scares me silly some days.

As a top, during scene I've never gotten emotional but after a scene I have found myself very emotional as though the scene has shaken something loose that had been stuck for a while.

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to Kirren)

Post #: 20

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