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Who knows me? - 12/7/2007 11:35:44 PM

MasDom

Posts: 375
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

Really who knows me?...

We date over a distance using this site, and people can only be judged on face value till they meet in person.

I often feel I,d have a better chance if we could meet in person, just because that short distance leaves us disconnected, but often people take up a defense to the thought because collar me is notorious for the bit off mentally.

I can understand and respect it, but i,m left wondering if I can carry who I am through a conversation, and it leaves me wondering both who really gets to know the real me, and if i,m really sure I know the real them.

Not having troubles lately, its just something I wanted to bring up.
What do you think?

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RE: Who knows me? - 12/7/2007 11:46:12 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

I think you may feel a greater level of comfort researching local munches.

Give it a try, can't hurt.

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RE: Who knows me? - 12/7/2007 11:46:13 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

You can't ever be sure it's the real "them" online only.

Talk enough and open up, and at least you know you're being you.

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RE: Who knows me? - 12/8/2007 12:21:32 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

You're using backwards thinking, my man.

If they're not willing to meet for coffee nearby, what makes you think they'd fly across the country?

For some perspective, I've just recently moved to California from Texas to be with two women I've met here on Collarme.

Stephan

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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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RE: Who knows me? - 12/8/2007 6:19:30 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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Who gets to know you? People you open yourself up to who accept you and who want to get to know you. It's a mutual thing.

But you know, some people are not with the person they want to be with, and they're not happy. Other people are with the person they don't want to be with, and they're not happy. Some people don't want someone who's not tall, or someone who's slim, or someone who has all the right 'naughty bits', and they're alone and unhappy. Some people only want someone who is 'into' floggers, hot wax, and sucking toes on the second Sunday of every month and they can't find such a person, and so they are lonely and unhappy.

I sometimes wonder if there are some people out there who genuinely enjoy being lonely, unfulfilled and miserable and this makes them happy.

There's nothing wrong in having preferences, but you can have too many of them and end up in a very lonely, isolated place.

Besides, how can you 'judge' someone on face value? Isn't this something of an oxymoron?

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RE: Who knows me? - 12/8/2007 7:20:46 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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All you can do is be open about things and hope the person you are talking to does likewise. It takes many months to know a person. It takes months in some cases, before the cracks in their personality are revealed. The process is not always easy.

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RE: Who knows me? - 12/8/2007 8:07:39 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Ms right isnt going to parashute down into your yard- and knock on your door. Get out and be seen! Work, volunteer work. Hint- and I should charge for this advice here. Pick out a beauty school- go every week and have a service done. mention you are single. I guarantee you will get a date! [if not- here is my nuimber...]

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RE: Who knows me? - 12/9/2007 1:17:38 AM

MadameMajidah

Posts: 89
Joined: 1/25/2007
Status: offline

As I recall... you left Ms right 2 years ago for some internet wench from cambodia......

On. Her. BIRTHDAY.
lol

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RE: Who knows me? - 12/10/2007 1:13:13 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Who knows me? There are two people on these boards who know me very well. Beyond that...its all heresay, whether right or wrong.
Who knows any of us on the internet? Its what you have to deal with being online.

I wouldn't worry about it...meet who you can and don't who you can't.

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RE: Who knows me? - 12/10/2007 1:50:15 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

So I'll revisit this.

MD, I read your profile. I probably could have written it myself five years ago, please understand that my thoughts aren't intended to be judgmental.

Drop the sorry sod like a bad habit. If she was real, you'd have met her by now, or she'd have had the balls to tell you she's already married/twenty years older/a man (circle the answer most appropriate.) As is, she's living a fantasy and pulling you through one too. Real love doesn't depend on waiting just a little longer before we meet; real love means we meet, and be together. She hasn't met you because she won't meet you. So that's her shit.

Your shit: the internet can be a great place for people with healthy self esteem to meet. It's a minefield of misery and pain for those who want to listen to Emo music. We find what we're looking for, and it sounds (and again, I speak nostogicly here) that you're looking for a fantasy girl to turn real. They don't.

What does happen, is real people meet, and without expecting to become master and slave in a day, they grow to like each other. They talk about stuff they like, stuff they hate. They laugh till their sides split, and feel warm and fuzzy about it later. That's the makings of a crush. Crushes can turn to love over time with familiarity and trust. You absolutely need to feel you can trust someone you love, or that love is just fantasy. Spend more time getting out there and dating vanilla woman, and occasionally (read twice a week, not twelve times a day) write someone online who catches your attention. Focus on making you a happier, healthier, well rounded person. Spend more time visiting munches, dating people who are interesting, and making your own life worthwhile. The internet pixie of your dreams probably will never materialize; but you'll eventually learn that honest, warm, decent, and sincere women are everywhere. You have to start by cutting the bullshit factor out of your life; obsession over a girl who you've never met and ever will comes first.

Good luck,

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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