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compatibility "tests" - 12/8/2007 4:14:09 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
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When checking a "vanilla" date's femdom potential, who has more tricks at his/her disposal, a dominant woman or submissive man. Or for that matter, dom man or sub woman? Discussing this with Ms. Mlicious, I insisted that a dominant lady has waaaay more in her arsenal than a submissive man. Posted on my blog about it as well. What do you folks think?

Post #: 1

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/8/2007 7:40:40 PM

ocilla

Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

I just come right out and say that I am a dominant woman. That usually is all it takes to get the ball rolling.

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 2

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/8/2007 8:12:39 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Any place where women have the power to say NO when a man is pursuing...the women have the power. Doesn't have anything to do with the lifestyle.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 3

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/8/2007 9:05:55 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I don't date submissive men. But as Master Fire says, girls rule when it comes to that scenario anyway.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 4

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/8/2007 10:03:29 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Any place where women have the power to say NO when a man is pursuing...the women have the power. Doesn't have anything to do with the lifestyle.

Master Fire

this is only assuming, and wrongly, that a man cannot say "no" when women are pursuing, that knife cuts both ways; and with a population that is slightly out of balance in favor of women, wouldn't it be surmised that there are more men saying no than women? (ok, i know that this doesn't hold true to the numbers; but thought it might be good for a giggle)

but as far as the question goes, a submissive man has more in his arsenal because on a "vanilla" date his every action is a cue, leaving the woman to respond as she sees fit; which makes him more prepared to analyze these reactions... this is because nomatter what the orientation of either party, a man is expected to lead on first dates; and most of the things a submissive man can do on a "vanilla" date are most readily interpreted as being a gentleman... a woman acting in an aggressive or dominant manner, on the other hand, is acting out of the ordinary and more readily stand out because of this

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 5

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/8/2007 10:36:19 PM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

"Femdomme potential"...

You gave the two viewpoints of a submissive male and a dominant female. This has confounded factors. Are we talking about sex and its part in being subtle? Or are we talking about power exchange?

I would imagine women, in general, have more "tricks" to ensure a date goes well. In my not so humble opinion men often have to use more of their (limited) tricks. But that's what society has agreed upon, for now.

In this situation, because the male of the couple is a wanting slave, the potentially dominant female has the Ace of Spades. It's the principle of least interest... Whoever wants something doesn't have the power. Whoever has the object of appetite has the power.

You want to be her slave. She has the power.
She wants to be your dominant. You have the power.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 6

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/8/2007 11:34:36 PM

MistressTaboo

Posts: 147
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline

Back when I was a teen...yes yes when Dinosours roamed the earth...I used to take all my dates to the Rocky Horror Picture Show...any of them that didn't get up and walk out or sit there not getting it got a second date...

Now a days...its' up to them to impress me...I'm the only one that knows if the end of the date is going to end in play or not...

_____________________________

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed" Meredith Brooks

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 7

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/9/2007 6:51:10 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Any place where women have the power to say NO when a man is pursuing...the women have the power. Doesn't have anything to do with the lifestyle.

Master Fire

this is only assuming, and wrongly,

It wasn't said with that assumption. I said, "Any place where women have the power to say NO when a man is pursuing...the women have the power." I never said that there wasn't also a place where men coudln't say no when the women pursue...or that the men couldn't say no when the men pursue...or the women couldn't say no when the women pursue. I was speaking of one specific scenario. I'm sorry that I wasn't clearer. Besides, you know me better than that!

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 8

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/9/2007 7:00:15 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

It wasn't said with that assumption. I said, "Any place where women have the power to say NO when a man is pursuing...the women have the power." I never said that there wasn't also a place where men coudln't say no when the women pursue...or that the men couldn't say no when the men pursue...or the women couldn't say no when the women pursue. I was speaking of one specific scenario. I'm sorry that I wasn't clearer. Besides, you know me better than that!

Master Fire

yes, you're right and i do... as a male, i reserve the right to be pointlessly argumentative, or even simply pointless *wink*

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 9

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/9/2007 8:13:41 PM

Boondoggle

Posts: 123
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde
as a male, i reserve the right to be pointlessly argumentative

no you don't

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 10

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/9/2007 9:32:26 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde
as a male, i reserve the right to be pointlessly argumentative

no you don't

yes, i do... note: reserving the right doesn't necessarily mean i have the right

you apparently didn't take the post in the jesting manner it was intended; or perhaps you were showing me that the ability isn't exclusive to the male gender

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Boondoggle)

Post #: 11

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/9/2007 10:40:54 PM

Boondoggle

Posts: 123
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

Alas, the subtleties of irony are lost on an internet message board again. My post was also with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

So I say to you:

quote:

you apparently didn't take the post in the jesting manner it was intended

yes I did

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 12

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/10/2007 9:42:02 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Doing the Monty Python argument technique. Yes it is. No it isn't.

(in reply to Boondoggle)

Post #: 13

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/10/2007 10:27:21 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Doing the Monty Python argument technique. Yes it is. No it isn't.

no we're not

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 14

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/10/2007 6:27:28 PM

Boondoggle

Posts: 123
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

Yay, someone got the pseudo-reference. That is, in my opinion, one of the most brilliantly written bits.
Argument Clinic, for any who haven't seen it.

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 15

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/10/2007 6:59:21 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

No, it isn't.

(in reply to Boondoggle)

Post #: 16

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/10/2007 7:01:55 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

I honestly don't understand what the OP is asking.
Do you mean, when out on a vanilla date, and trying to find out if your partner is kinky without outright asking, who has more kinds of actions to take, to test reactions in the date?
I.E. a femDom might tell a sub to "go ask the waiter X" and see if he gets up and finds the waiter or just waits for the waiter to come by. a malesub might ask "permission" to order a particular dish for himself...or ask permission instead of excusing himself to the restroom..??
If that is what you mean, I think it's much easier on the dominant side to throw out bait and see if its is snatched up. Though the options are equal when it comes to "banter" that can be passed off as joking. "If I'm bad will you make me stand in the corner?" when talking about karaoke or some such...

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to Boondoggle)

Post #: 17

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/10/2007 7:18:14 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

That was exactly what I was trying to say. And I agree, banter-wise, it is probably close to equal. I think banter can be deceptive sometimes, though. As far as actually field testing dom/sub behavior before all cards have been put on the table, most of the advantage is with the dominant. Especially a dominant woman. I believe that the whole femdom lifestyle is all about normal chivalry taken to an extreme degree.

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 18

RE: compatibility "tests" - 12/11/2007 4:10:27 PM

LadyChef

Posts: 105
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

When checking a "vanilla" date's femdom potential, who has more tricks at his/her disposal, a dominant woman or submissive man. Or for that matter, dom man or sub woman? Discussing this with Ms. Mlicious, I insisted that a dominant lady has waaaay more in her arsenal than a submissive man. Posted on my blog about it as well. What do you folks think?

A woman, naturally!

_____________________________

You reap what you sow

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 19

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