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SeekingTriad -> RE: W...w...what are you gonna do to me with THAT thing?? (12/16/2007 1:53:45 AM)
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(the fem half posting here *heh*)
To the OP: I think what it all really comes down to is communication, communication, communication. I was in several different d/s, s/m, poly relationships before I got to where I am now. I've had some horrible experiances and some great ones. Nine times in ten I can chalk those bad experiances up to not communicating fully my wants and desires with my partner.
In my case, I don't have 'true' slaves, as that is against the law. Therefore, the people over or underneath me are always there because they want to be and vice versa. It also means that just like vanilla, if you don't tell your partner whats going on, they can't fix it. Now I am the type of person that needs to know whats in your head before I'm comfortable swatting you around, but some people assume if you don't complain then you must be having fun to.
If you are experiancing things that you don't want to.. if you in the end aren't having a good time.. if you don't like the person you become for the person you are serving.. then you need to have a serious chat with that person to fix it. If they aren't willing to listen then you need to decide if thats agreeable to you or not. I know some subs enjoy having their limits pushed, but there is limit pushing and there is abuse.. the line is different for everyone. If you don't feel that spending more time in punishment when you've done nothing wrong is acceptable, then you need to communicate that to your partner. As has been stated.. all b/d, d/s, and s/m aren't interchangeable and don't all come in one big package. You have to find a combination, or series of combinations that work for you and find someone that can meet you where you are so you can BOTH be happy, or unhappy, whatever you like..
Good luck!
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