Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life?

Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (Full Version)

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Xtasesdoublepac -> Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/9/2007 7:35:23 PM)
Hello everyone, I've been trying to find out about this lifestyle for the longest now, but I keep bomping into the wrong people here on this website who's just here to boss u around, asking for sex or cyber. I'm very curious to know what BDSM is really all about. The everyday play/real time.

sexyred1 -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/9/2007 7:39:55 PM)
It is for whatever the people who are involved in it, decide it to be. Your profile states you want friends, but are interested in women for more. You have made a decision on what you think the lifestyle is. Others will have many other interpretations; that does not make them "wrong" people, just wrong for YOU. You are asking a huge question, What is BDSM all about? You will receive as many replies as there are stars in the sky.

slavekal -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/9/2007 7:49:34 PM)
Each person defines his/her own life. This lifestyle is like any other interest, be it karate, chess, boating, or anything else. It can be a very small part of your life, or it can consume every moment. Whatever you want and need.

LadyHugs -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/9/2007 7:57:47 PM)
Dear Xtasesdoublepac, Ladies and Gentlemen, Sexyred1 was spot on with the reply to your questions. For some, BDSM is just about sexual foreplay and sex, with kink; for some it is a dedicated couple who wish to incorporate the elements of bondage, discipline and or Sadism and or masochism as well as a Dominant and or authority role and or a submissive or passive and compliant role. For some, it is a serious life choice as to use the template of Dominant authority and submissive and or passive power in their private life as to maintain their relationship in addition to interaction with all individuals in life. Some use BDSM for healing, therapeutic means and or a vehicle to a spiritual oasis in 'sub-space' and or 'flying' that relies on body chemicals rather than drugs and or alcholic beverages. For me, it is a life's choice. It is my vehicle as a Dominant woman to move as one among my peers and know that I am not 'odd' or 'unique.' Like so many people, I seek to create my own sense of peace, harmony, safety, consistancy and happiness. Just some thoughts. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

Lureaetagg -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/9/2007 8:02:47 PM)
If I was to make a general statement on what the lifestyle is, I would say it is trust. Nothing in BdSm can be done without some level of trust. When I think about the lifestyle my mind is immediately drawn to the trust involved. A true Dom/sub would never involve themselves somewhere that trust was not. Not sure how well this answers your question, but it is my view on the subject matter.

mistressaries -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/9/2007 8:06:08 PM)
hi and welcome Xtasesdoublepac, sexyred1 is right. There is way to many aspects to the lifestyle to say that any one is "right" or "wrong". For me personally, this is about mutual pleasure and satisfying desires. I would suggest that you just keep surfing and researching as much as you can. There are many books out there that can help to give you ideas about some of the aspects. I spent alot of time reading anything I could find on every possible things to do with bdsm when I first realized what it was that I had a desire for. Chat with people, find your interests and research as much as possible. There are many on this site that are very willing to chat and give you as much help as they can (myself among them). Find out about your local community munches (if there are any) and try to attend. Above all, remember that all things are possible but only some things will make you happy, find those things and enjoy. MissA

darchChylde -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/9/2007 8:26:53 PM)
while you will meet many people just looking for kinky sex or wank material, especially online... if you go to local munches and socials you will find real people with real lives... even in a 24/7 relationship, a successful one; most of the time its not play... i know many male Dom/ fem sub relationships are nearly indistinguishable from the ideal 50's americana household and D/s does not necessarily mean sex or play

LadyChef -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/9/2007 8:37:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lureaetagg If I was to make a general statement on what the lifestyle is, I would say it is trust. Nothing in BdSm can be done without some level of trust. When I think about the lifestyle my mind is immediately drawn to the trust involved. A true Dom/sub would never involve themselves somewhere that trust was not. Not sure how well this answers your question, but it is my view on the subject matter. I 100% agree with this! I am not only here for kinky sex via chat, phone or at a 1st meet or date....looks like I need to update My profile again..[:D]

Xtasesdoublepac -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/10/2007 7:05:00 AM)
Wow! I should have came to the message board earlier. Thank you all for your comments. This is what I wanted and needed to know

thetammyjo -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/10/2007 8:17:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Xtasesdoublepac Hello everyone, I've been trying to find out about this lifestyle for the longest now, but I keep bomping into the wrong people here on this website who's just here to boss u around, asking for sex or cyber. I'm very curious to know what BDSM is really all about. The everyday play/real time. Honestly, you'll need to get offline and find local education and munch groups to learn this. Online is not the same as offline and most of us live our DS or do BDSM offline primarily. Try this site to find groups near you: http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html

LadyEllen -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/10/2007 9:53:34 AM)
Its for sexual play - which can be lust or an expression of love, and when its love then it can also be for real life. But its never real life without the love. E

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/10/2007 10:10:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Xtasesdoublepac I'm very curious to know what BDSM is really all about. The everyday play/real time. In line with everyone else, there is no one definition to this. To some people, that asking or demanding sex IS their everyday real time interaction. For others, there is no sex involved at all, and service can range in a hundred different directions. How people relate, how they interact, how partnerships are set up and how living arangements overall are put together are different for just about everyone here. We dont all agree with how one another do things. Thats the beauty of it, we dont have to. There are only 2 people who HAVE to agree with how I run my house, for instance, and they are my 2 boys. Anyone else can have opinions, but I can take or leave them as I please. If you are having too much trouble finding things out here, real life is a goods place to head. It might be a touch more intimidating the first time or two, but it has to be better than butting your head against a wall trying to learn things from the ones you are bumping into here. Just keep in mind, no matter what you learn, you are going to have to figure things out every time you are with a different person. No one person can teach you everything you need to know, since there are no universal right and wrong things. What works for them might not work for someone else. The reason you are getting a lot of wank email is probably because of the sexual tone of your profile. You'll just ahve to get used to that on here, and weed out the useless interest. DV DV

MistressDolly -> RE: Is this lifestyle for sexual play only or real life? (12/10/2007 12:09:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHugs Dear Xtasesdoublepac, Ladies and Gentlemen, Sexyred1 was spot on with the reply to your questions. For some, BDSM is just about sexual foreplay and sex, with kink; for some it is a dedicated couple who wish to incorporate the elements of bondage, discipline and or Sadism and or masochism as well as a Dominant and or authority role and or a submissive or passive and compliant role. For some, it is a serious life choice as to use the template of Dominant authority and submissive and or passive power in their private life as to maintain their relationship in addition to interaction with all individuals in life. Some use BDSM for healing, therapeutic means and or a vehicle to a spiritual oasis in 'sub-space' and or 'flying' that relies on body chemicals rather than drugs and or alcholic beverages. For me, it is a life's choice. It is my vehicle as a Dominant woman to move as one among my peers and know that I am not 'odd' or 'unique.' Like so many people, I seek to create my own sense of peace, harmony, safety, consistancy and happiness. Just some thoughts. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs My setiments exactly.

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