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Overcoming obstacles in a M/s relationship - 8/16/2005 9:15:41 AM   
MissLeona71


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline 		I would like to start this thread on obstacles that couples have faced. How they handled it and
advice to others.
W/we have had a bad week with a robbery, pool pump exploding and now the liner is leaking. Joys of
home ownership.
It can be hard to combine all of that and an active toddler, along with thoughts of getting pregnant and
trying to keep the D/s going.
So any thoughts, ideas, are welcome. Or even just a hi how are ya :)

Have a great day everyone.

_____________________________

www.his-enslavement.com
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RE: Overcoming obstacles in a M/s relationship - 8/16/2005 10:04:36 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		The obstacles that you seem to be having are not within your relationship but rather are external to it and seem to be taking a toll on your relationship. Though it doesn't make it any easier, the good news is that you have a better chance of getting through it as long as you remember where the cause of the obstacles originates.

What is most common in these circumstances is that we lose sight of the obstacle and when our patience is worn down from the external influences, we take it out on the people that we love that are the closest to us because in small doses, they will forgive us and offer back comfort. If the doses get heavier and more frequent however, the obstacle will mutate and become a problem internal to the relationship.

At times like these, it is important to communicate and come up with signals such as "I'm at the end of my rope and please know that you are not the cause of this, but at this very moment I need to decompress and I'm not at my best so please give me a little space". If they are aware of the external factors and that you have discussed this strategy ahead of time, the chances of such strategies working are very good.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 8/16/2005 10:05:13 AM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Overcoming obstacles in a M/s relationship - 8/16/2005 10:54:24 AM   
MissLeona71


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline 		W/we are handling them pretty well so far. Keeping communication going I know is vital. But would like to know about others living this way.

Thanks

_____________________________

www.his-enslavement.com

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RE: Overcoming obstacles in a M/s relationship - 8/16/2005 11:38:50 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissLeona71

W/we are handling them pretty well so far. Keeping communication going I know is vital. But would like to know about others living this way.

Thanks


I think every relationship has external influences that can be either good or bad. I think everyone is living this way.

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Overcoming obstacles in a M/s relationship - 8/16/2005 12:56:41 PM   
TiNeedsHouseboy


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/24/2005
From: Big Apple blossom blown to The Windy City
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissLeona71
It can be hard to combine all of that and an active toddler, along with thoughts of getting pregnant and
trying to keep the D/s going.
So any thoughts, ideas, are welcome.

This is a frequently tossed around topic anywhere 24/7 Lifestylers congregate: How do you live TPE/24/7/365 when everything around you is corroding/eroding your needs/plans? The general consensus is always that no matter how much D/s reigns in your heart and gut, life's daily demands have a propensity to interfere with even the best laid (no pun intended) plans.

I was recently chatting with a male slave/buddy about precisely this dilemma. His Mistress/wife decided that no matter what, she expected him to perform certain daily rituals to keep the spirit of their TPE alive.

That might be something you and your slave hubby can ponder together: what daily rituals would be do-able -- despite all else going to hell in a hand basket -- that would be meaningful for both of you?

Also, all couples in long-term relationships -- independent of BDSM -- get into glitches where life competes with their ability to be together as a couple. If need be, make a weekly date for fun and frivolity together. It doesn't have to be elaborate. Perhaps you could spend an hour watching TV together while cuddling or with him wrapped around your feet or however you like to sit together. The object is to make time just for the two of you.

Hang in there. All committed couples face these challenges.

~ Ti ~

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RE: Overcoming obstacles in a M/s relationship - 8/16/2005 1:40:17 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TiNeedsHouseboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissLeona71
It can be hard to combine all of that and an active toddler, along with thoughts of getting pregnant and
trying to keep the D/s going.
So any thoughts, ideas, are welcome.

This is a frequently tossed around topic anywhere 24/7 Lifestylers congregate: How do you live TPE/24/7/365 when everything around you is corroding/eroding your needs/plans? The general consensus is always that no matter how much D/s reigns in your heart and gut, life's daily demands have a propensity to interfere with even the best laid (no pun intended) plans.
[/center]


Funny...

This is a frequently tossed around topic when I hang out with my regular ordinary, not necessarily lifestyle friends: How do you live out your relationship when everything around you is corroding/eroding your needs/plans? The general consensus is always that no matter how much your relationship dynamic and objectives reigns in your heart and gut, life's daily demands have a propensity to interfere with even the best laid (no pun intended) plans.

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to TiNeedsHouseboy)
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RE: Overcoming obstacles in a M/s relationship - 8/16/2005 4:36:38 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I try and keep my nose from under this tent, but you all have such intriguing discussions.

Life is Life. Some days your house burns up; and some days your house burns down. Some days you can't make a fucking dime.

In our secret ganglion; we have said that we will live ordinary life in an extraordinary way.

Can't catch the ass-whipping of your life everyday.

But by god, you can count 'em now can't you?

This could be gladhand asswipe time and say 'Make lemonade.......'


When they carve your gravestone........
Don't let it say well; I was robbed.

Fuck 'em. That's how I handle it. May not make sense to a woman. But I FEEL that. That's my emotion.
And I mean that sincerely.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: Overcoming obstacles in a M/s relationship - 8/16/2005 4:51:45 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

we have said that we will live ordinary life in an extraordinary way


I like that. I do believe it's possible to do that with everything we do passionately.

Welcome to our little tent, Ron. Feel free to post here anytime.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Overcoming obstacles in a M/s relationship - 8/16/2005 7:51:50 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

W/we are handling them pretty well so far. Keeping communication going I know is vital. But would like to know about others living this way.


Shit happens. Nothing we can do about it. The mere fact you are together and making your way through it you will be a stronger couple. My dom and I have been through almost every up and down you can imagine since we have been together.
The worst was when his father died last year. For almost 7 month's every weekend we had was spent in a hospital, er or nursing home. When he died we felt lost for a while.
My familys deaths were nothing in comparison.

We've changed jobs. Had things blow up. It is just part ofdaily life.
For us, no matter what we do we always schedule at least a few hours each week to just ourselves. No one else. Alone time...quality time. We do not need to play...or even talk during these times. We just need to be together. Normally we talk. To stay in tune with one another.
We can always say we don't have the time but if you look at your schedule you can make time for one another. Re-shuffle this or that to make it work. If it is worth it to you.
If it is you'll be fine. This time will pass.

(in reply to MissLeona71)
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RE: Overcoming obstacles in a M/s relationship - 8/16/2005 8:42:50 PM   
Niran


Posts: 70
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		Obstacles? Oh goodness.....read my journal some day. lol. Lost jobs, unexpected pregnancies, 6 moves in 8 years, infidelites, lies, more lies. Oh wait, there were some more infidelities and lies. Near death experiences. Money crisis.

People wonder why I took over? Thats why.


N

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Profile   Post #: 10
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