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perverseangelic -> RE: Name Capping (8/17/2005 4:36:55 PM)
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Re: Use of capping in Greece/Rome
Honestly, I don't see it as the same thing as this is consensual slavery we're dealing with here. Within that context, it seems that "slave" was a social class. That is, a slave was below everyone, by definition.
Within this context, one who is in service is not below everyone. It's a very different set up to me, and it makes the feeling different.
quote:
To sum it all up. i think its projection here. You're projecting your own negative feelings about something into other ppl's words (or uncapitalization). (stay with me) BECAUSE you think it says you are "unworthy" (or whatever) YOU feel it is what they are saying about YOU. Hence your issue.
On this topic, WHY is being "submissive" all of a sudden being "unworthy"?? Are the subs here having Dom envy? Its alike all the things those do that remind us that we are submissive, is WRONG. Seems like some here, are struggling with their submissiveness?
Quite honestly, i am submissive and a slave, very proud of it, and dont mind being reminded of it. Just dont cross the line and think i'm YOUR submissive, because all it will do is put in my head that you are obviously a fake, have no clue about the lifestyle, are disrespectful, and a few other things. If you're lucky, i'd educate you and then block you, if your not, i'll simply block you.
The problem is two fold--imposing your standards on me, and going against my expressed desires.
Were this a situation of non-consensual slavery, were I in a societal class under free people, then I wouldn't have the right to complain. However, in the type of power play I engage in, I am the equal of every individual save my partner. As such, it is my right to state how I prefer to be addressed, and I believe it's simple politeness to address me as such.
You mentioned projection. I don't have a problem with non-standard capping, when used for the self. Eh, do what you like. What bothers me is the projection of that onto me, when I spesifically ask to be refered to otherwise.
I don't think uncapped names mean "unworthy" I think it simply is gramatically incorrect, unless that name is presented as uncapped. I'm not saying that if I introduce myself as "perverseangelic" I expect automatically to have it capped. I am saying that if I introduce myself as "Samantha" I expect it to remain that way. I have expressed my desire to be refered to as such. To ignore that desire -is- to treat me as unworthy, and often it is because I serve my partner that it is done.
To take my proper name, and refuse to use it, is to treat me as less than, to project your value of what a submissive person should be onto who I am. I don't believe that submissive people are unworthy, nor do I believe that uncapped names are "unworthy" if used appropriatly. I -do- believe that to uncap a name that was presented to you capped is to treat that person as unworthy. It reads, to me, as a subtle attempt to put that person "in his/her place."
I figure individuals have a right to do what works for them, however that right ends when it begins to project onto another individual.
I'm an English major. I read into texts. To me, the way someone uses my name says -volumes- about them. I would never complain about someone who chooses to cap their pronouns, though I might find it silly. I -would- object when they cap my partners pronouns, because it is something he vehemently opposes. Again, an excercise in assertion. However, even then, I don't bother too much because it isn't as if the individuals are takling to my partner. However, regardless as to my role, it is polite to address me like a human being, which means giving me the same courtesy you'd give any other human. If you don't cap anyones name, that means not capping mine. If you cap some peoples names, then I prefer to be 'spoken' to in (mostly)proper english.
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