i know that

i know that (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

takenbyjohnr07 -> i know that (12/11/2007 11:23:27 AM)
every relationship is different just like people. What i am wondering is, if you are in a M/s relationship or you are property. If your Dominant trusts you what is wrong with your Dominant having access to your E-mail address? i was not asked to, but i volunteered my password. Just as a sign of my complete devotion to him. it actually makes me feel closer to him than ever and in my opinion enhances his control and power over me. Which i love.

Jeffff -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 11:32:47 AM)
Because everyone needs space of their own? Because I need to trust who I am with. Because a person could have 20 email addresses and I would never know? Pick one Jeff

Leatherist -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 11:36:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 every relationship is different just like people. What i am wondering is, if you are in a M/s relationship or you are property. If your Dominant trusts you what is wrong with your Dominant having access to your E-mail address? i was not asked to, but i volunteered my password. Just as a sign of my complete devotion to him. it actually makes me feel closer to him than ever and in my opinion enhances his control and power over me. Which i love. Devotion is about a lot more than just being open. I'd stop focusing so much on power, and think more of sharing. When you get fixated on a dynamic-you objectify the person.

daddyncherry -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 11:42:02 AM)
OP, i can relate to your thoughts on this....i had hoped that my Daddy would look into my email etc....that there wouldn't be that kind of privacy(for me). i know that there is nothing he would see that would be bad, but the thought of him looking, wanting to look was something that i kind of looked forward to....i also thought that it would validate my trustworthiness. Ultimately, he doesn't look....because he does trust me and i guess it does show that he is secure with me.

sexyred1 -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 11:53:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 every relationship is different just like people. What i am wondering is, if you are in a M/s relationship or you are property. If your Dominant trusts you what is wrong with your Dominant having access to your E-mail address? i was not asked to, but i volunteered my password. Just as a sign of my complete devotion to him. it actually makes me feel closer to him than ever and in my opinion enhances his control and power over me. Which i love. You are insinuating that if you need some privacy in your life, then you are not a "completely devoted" sub/slave/insertwhateversubblierthanthouwordhere or that your Dominant distrusts you or you him/her. Just because YOU feel like handing over all your passwords to your email, bank accounts, etc. does not mean that everyone else needs to do the same, nor does it diminish the power of their relationships. I never have, never will hand over all of my personal information to a partner; I have a life of my own and whomever is with me appreciates that special part of me, that I keep FOR ME, AND ME ALONE.

SingleRarity -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 12:06:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 every relationship is different just like people. What i am wondering is, if you are in a M/s relationship or you are property. If your Dominant trusts you what is wrong with your Dominant having access to your E-mail address? i was not asked to, but i volunteered my password. Just as a sign of my complete devotion to him. it actually makes me feel closer to him than ever and in my opinion enhances his control and power over me. Which i love. If it makes you happy, I don't think there is anything wrong with your Dom having access to your e-mail. I have access to all of my slave's communications, and she'd share them freely if I asked, but I haven't and so I have never actually read her "private" e-mail or journal. I guess I just don't have a strong desire to excercise my power in that respect in our relationship and know that if there is something "private" that she really needs or wants to share, she will.

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 12:06:51 PM)
Yes, that's exactly how i feel and i don't believe he looks also, but the thought does excite me. Thanks for understanding.

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 12:09:10 PM)
That's not what my post said at all. Also i added my feelings on the subject. Not anyone else's.

Dnomyar -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 12:13:52 PM)
sexyred1 can I at least have your phone number???

SirDominic -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 12:18:46 PM)
quote: what is wrong with your Dominant having access to your E-mail address? Nothing is wrong with it, not sure why you are concerned it might be. As you say, everyone is different; what works for one, won't for another. You have made the access available to him, he can choose to or not as he sees fit. Must admit the ones I have some problems with are the Dominant's who insist they must have access to their sub's email. To me that seems to indicate either they are not secure in themselves, or are just control freaks. Of course, some subs would like to be under control freaks. I guess those are the ones who say in their profile "watch out, my Master reads all my mail first". I made it clear to my slave from the beginning she is free to email with anyone at any time. Though she has given me access to her account, I have never used it. Get it? Got it? Good!

CreativeDominant -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 12:25:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 every relationship is different just like people. What i am wondering is, if you are in a M/s relationship or you are property. If your Dominant trusts you what is wrong with your Dominant having access to your E-mail address? i was not asked to, but i volunteered my password. Just as a sign of my complete devotion to him. it actually makes me feel closer to him than ever and in my opinion enhances his control and power over me. Which i love. My answer is a lot like Jefff's...as a matter of fact, it is almost a repeat of what I said on the thread about asking for email addresses/passwords/checking email. For me, it doesn't work. I hold what some might consider a cynical attitude but it is a realistic one: if a submissive wants to fuck around on me, she is going to find a way to do so, even if it is only online. She could hand me every single password to 20 accounts she says she has and be holding back the information about account # 21. Besides that, in my world...and Mine Only...I either trust this person or I do not. If I do not, then I should probably not be accepting their submission. That does not mean I won't ask to see their mail occasionally or even ask them to share what they have received, especially if it is something of interest to both of us but, there is a fine line. I don't want my doing this to be seen *only* as an indication that I don't trust what she does when she is not with me. My world only...not a reflection on anyone else's motivations.

sexyred1 -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 12:31:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar sexyred1 can I at least have your phone number??? Sure, its 1-800-Iamnotatruesubsinceidontsharepasswordswithmydom. Call anytime.

agirl -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 12:33:22 PM)
If you see it as a sign of devotion then that's what it is. There's nothing wrong with enjoying that feeling. To be honest, M having access to my pc and all it's contents doesn't mean a great deal overall in terms of trust. If I really didn't want him to see something I could delete it or hide it. It's not something he does with a militant air, it's just a general browse out of interest. It's fun. agirl

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 12:48:49 PM)
there was a long thread about this subject and whether or not a Dominant should have your e-mail. That's why i asked this question.

laurell3 -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 1:19:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 every relationship is different just like people. What i am wondering is, if you are in a M/s relationship or you are property. If your Dominant trusts you what is wrong with your Dominant having access to your E-mail address? i was not asked to, but i volunteered my password. Just as a sign of my complete devotion to him. it actually makes me feel closer to him than ever and in my opinion enhances his control and power over me. Which i love. Your post is fine taken. I suspect the wording and punctuation are causing people to think you are saying what is true for you is true for others. I don't get that impression from this or your other posts. I see you're asking for a topic of discussion and sharing what you do. As with all things, if it works for you, do it. If it doesn't, don't.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 1:57:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddyncherry OP, i can relate to your thoughts on this....i had hoped that my Daddy would look into my email etc....that there wouldn't be that kind of privacy(for me). i know that there is nothing he would see that would be bad, but the thought of him looking, wanting to look was something that i kind of looked forward to....i also thought that it would validate my trustworthiness. Ultimately, he doesn't look....because he does trust me and i guess it does show that he is secure with me. Cherry, while I was reading this I was thinking to myself about the many times I've not read or looked through emails. Even thinking back to moments when she was actually looking foward to me doing it... however, ultimately I did not look. Strange thing about how trust and guilt work though. She had exchanged emails with a guy from one of her classes (college) a couple of times, intially it was under the pretense of working on a group project, however this guy was pushing for me. I simply asked her one thing for all this to come out in the open. "Is there anything I should be aware of?" She had been on the computer reading and writing emails, and she seemed to be wrestling with some issue. One Question, is all I asked. The Truth and explaination of what happened came out, she felt bad about it, because she did not mean to lead him on or anything. She was rather down and hard on herself, because she had an idea that this guy had alteria motives besides the group project, questioning if she had done something wrong. I read the email exchanges, and she handled herself just fine. Him however, needless to say, even vanilla's can be guilt tripping bastards from hell. She was afraid I would be mad as hell at her. That was the only email problem in the 7 years we were together. But this was 24/7 real time, it's a lot easier to see body language and put two and two together and ask a questions when you see something is not right.

Mercnbeth -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 2:17:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 every relationship is different just like people. What i am wondering is, if you are in a M/s relationship or you are property. If your Dominant trusts you what is wrong with your Dominant having access to your E-mail address? i was not asked to, but i volunteered my password. Just as a sign of my complete devotion to him. it actually makes me feel closer to him than ever and in my opinion enhances his control and power over me. Which i love. taken, If it means something to you and is an illustration of your "devotion to him" there is no "wrong". But don't you have the trust point turned around? It should be if you trust your Dominant, not "if your dominant trusts you". Never having experience with any relationship that relied heavily on internet contact the meaning wouldn't be the same for me as it would for those maintaining a long distance relationship through this medium. However consider the trust issue. The importance places on this issue indicates it is a 'hard limit' for some. To those so inclined, I'd ask this question. If you felt you couldn't trust someone you consider you are in a relationship with your email access; how could you trust them with your emotional or mental well being within a relationship? It's not like your talking about your banking information. That said, feeding a paranoid insecurity isn't appropriate out of the gate either. I don't recall how beth got my email info or me hers. It wasn't that noteworthy. Yet, with now two threads going on this subject; are we missing something?

slavejali -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 2:19:00 PM)
Yup, every relationship is different. Master has accessed to everything in this household. I don't even really see it as a sign of submission that I allow that ...just part of sharing a life most intimately with someone...there is no "me" or "mine" in the relationship, just "us" or "ours'...just my thoughts. Well even if I think about it in a Master/slave context, if everything is Masters, including me, then its all mine too...ok comes back to "us" and "ours" again. hehe

Maya2001 -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 2:20:50 PM)
I am another that beleives people even animals are entitle to some privacy and that allowing is part of respect. I have a couple dogs that become uncomfortable if the cannot void themselves in private, and my dogs start to become restless and uncomfortable when my grandchildren are over after a bit , so I make certain rooms off limits to the granchildren that the dogs can retreat to when they have had enough, allowing the dogs that respect ensure they will never find a reason to become annoyed or feel so uncomfortable to the point where they may feel the need to nip the children inorder to say they have had enough leave me alone. Even in the wild a sick of injured animal will retreat into privacy, or an older animal may isolate themselves at times to get a break from the youngsters. And even chiklren and teens more so need to have some privacy, not providing leads to rebellion both in humans and animals. You may be comfortable in sharing emails but chances are you find other ways to allow yourself some space to call your own. and it has nothing to do with trust but need, each of us have that need some more than others

Littlepita -> RE: i know that (12/11/2007 4:07:26 PM)
I do agree that everyone is entitled to some privacy as long as they aren't breaking any rules or the trust that is between you two. I email lots of people and so does he. Sometimes we never tell the other what we write and other times we BCC each other. I have his passwords and he has mine. Our computers are three feet away from each other as well. I'm like Jali, and what's his is also ours and that is that.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

4.736328E-02