Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Erectile Dysfunction


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Erectile Dysfunction Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/29/2007 8:12:27 PM   
indibob


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/18/2007
Status: offline 		perhaps i should be posting this on the "ask a Mistress" forum, but as the subject has been brought up here.... I am a sub with ED, i am always upfront with this information and often suggest being cuckolded as i dont really feel worthy to be with a woman in an exclusive relationship without being able to service her properly.
This i think gives her the opotunity to tell me if its a problem for her. Unfortunately, i often feel that perhaps im putting off a prospective Domme if she is monogamous by nature.
Anyone like to comment on this please?

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/29/2007 8:57:01 PM   
sexyone4you


Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gardenista

From what I understand, ED is a physical disorder and unrelated to sexual desire.


Quite so. It comes down to neural, hormonal or cardiovascular issues.
Health,
al-Aswad.




Let's not forget psychological causes. Which I have been told is responsible for a good portion of ED causes.


Have you read much on the subject? Both your posts suggest you haven't, but you are ready to attack.  Hmmmmm.  Did this post strike a nerve?

(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/29/2007 9:05:44 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I was in a relationship with a dominant who had ED.  He told me upfront but wouldn’t discuss it fully.  However, he was open to suggestions and was very inventive; the best was when he bought a strap-on that attached to his thigh and we could be more intimate, face to face, kissing and very nearly ‘the real thing’.  He was able to have an orgasm with oral sex and we had quite a nicely fulfilling D/s as well as sexual relationship. 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/29/2007 10:23:22 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: indibob

perhaps i should be posting this on the "ask a Mistress" forum, but as the subject has been brought up here.... I am a sub with ED, i am always upfront with this information and often suggest being cuckolded as i dont really feel worthy to be with a woman in an exclusive relationship without being able to service her properly.
This i think gives her the opotunity to tell me if its a problem for her. Unfortunately, i often feel that perhaps im putting off a prospective Domme if she is monogamous by nature.
Anyone like to comment on this please?


honestly, a Domme is a woman *first*.  as i said, my first dominant was unable to achieve an erection and it didnt make any difference to me.  yes, i know i'm a sub and that's slightly different, but still its a relationship between a man and a woman.  there are other ways to please besides a penis.  hands, fingers, tongue, skillful use of toys....all of those work.

good luck. 

kitten

(in reply to indibob)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/29/2007 10:49:01 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Deleted because it was irrelevent

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/29/2007 10:55:01 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/29/2007 11:19:24 PM   
boymikee


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline 		What if you are with your Master/Mistress and you realize that you have ED because the Master/Mistress is not ... who you are interested in any more - however, you have a commitment to them. Of course you accept the punishment - but you would like to "be" with them too ... how to overcome?

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 1:02:38 AM   
sweetstorm


Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gardenista

From what I understand, ED is a physical disorder and unrelated to sexual desire.


Quite so. It comes down to neural, hormonal or cardiovascular issues.
Health,
al-Aswad.




Let's not forget psychological causes. Which I have been told is responsible for a good portion of ED causes.


Have you read much on the subject? Both your posts suggest you haven't, but you are ready to attack.  Hmmmmm.  Did this post strike a nerve?



Play nice now, dear ones, no biting 



_____________________________

You don't need a parachute to skydive.

You need a parachute to skydive twice.

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 3:30:27 AM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		Luckily Master can go three or so rounds before anything like ED becomes an issue.

If  ED ever were to become a real issue, I would be very sad .  However the problem would not change the fact that though I love his penis, I love his heart and soul more.  I would never give up the love and joy I receive from him because of lack of sex.

Because we are both very sexual beings it would be hard and I know we would both feel frustrations and sadness.  I am sure however with the love we've got that we could work through the problem. 

We fit, you see.  In his love I am complete.   I am free and content, happy and confident.  He is my soul mate and friend, my love and my religion.   He is my passion and what makes my soul take wing, he allows me to feel free enough to be comfortable in my own self.

Being together from a long distance relationship we had to feel eachothers emotions rather then eachother's bodies.  We had to touch and feel though our hearts and minds, our bodies came second..so long after his body fails him, my heart will still charish and adore him above all others.


_____________________________

* Shimmy Shimmy *

(in reply to sweetstorm)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 6:28:18 AM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gardenista

From what I understand, ED is a physical disorder and unrelated to sexual desire.


Quite so. It comes down to neural, hormonal or cardiovascular issues.
Health,
al-Aswad.




Let's not forget psychological causes. Which I have been told is responsible for a good portion of ED causes.


Have you read much on the subject? Both your posts suggest you haven't, but you are ready to attack.  Hmmmmm.  Did this post strike a nerve?



Yes I have read about ED. I did not intend to seem like I was attacking. Yes , it does strike a nerve. ED is a male health issue. It affects males. I think it wise for all males to know something about it.

Actually, it amuses me to read some of the opinions that some females have about ED and sometimes makes me shake my head at the same time. No, I am not talking about all women.



_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 6:39:07 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I thought you may find this interesting since you are so interested in ED

quote:

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is one of the most common sexual problems and affects nearly 50% of all men over the age of 40 at some stage. This problem becomes even more common and more severe as men grow older. There are many causes of ED and it is thought that 70% of cases have physical causes and 30% psychological causes although often there are both physical and psychological reasons for the condition

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/68643.php



It is hard to quantify whether it is physical or psychological partially because men can have performance anxiety stemming from a failed attempt due to physical reasons....

The best cure for having performance anxiety is possibly being in a long term relationship with a woman that does not have a goal oriented attitude about sexuality.. as we get older (and I mean "we" in the broadest of ways) more and more of us will deal with these issues, and they are not just a "man's" issue, they are a couples issue. This problem impacts both people in long term monogamous relationships.. not just one.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 6:40:36 AM   
Sexynmentalinkc


Posts: 132
Joined: 4/14/2006
Status: offline 		~ Fast Reply ~

I'm hardly any sort of expert (hopefully never have to be), but...knowledge is power, 'eh?

While some ED cause can be psychological or stress-induced, most of it - from what I've read or discussed - is physical or pharmacological in nature.


That being said, I think if you check with most Dr.'s, I think many would likely prescribe:

  • Changes to diet (a huge bonus on many levels anyway - I now focus on a mostly yeast-free diet, which helps reduce 'flab')
  • Changes to exercise (relating to the above)
  • Suppliments to offset chemical imbalances - example: Taking B-complex and/or Niacin for vascular health and to promote a healthy nervous system
  • Drinking a LOT more water (also good on several levels anyway)

If all of this fails to produce desired results, and He's able to do so, you'd probably want to then add the blue pill (if possible). If not, there are other natural/herbal remedies. One specific one I've tried and can partly say did produce is maca root (look up "Magic Maca" or "Maca man").


On the topic of being communicative about the issue...

I think most women know how insecure men can be and the ego-centric nature of many Doms probably exascerbates this problem as well. I'm not sure there's an analog that women could relate to but perhaps weight/body-image would apply. It's greatly encouraging to see that many women here value their Man's cock - but value HIM more (who he is at his core...heart, soul, mind and spirit). If you do have a Man that struggles with this a bit (or more) and are genuine about wanting to help, I suppose I'd advise a caring, loving and cautious approach. Reassurance that the dynamic you share will always mean more to you than how well or long the equipment functions will do wonders.

I'll bet you ladies know how hard it can be to get men to open up about issues they'd rather sweep under the rug. Remain understanding and try to put yourself a bit into his shoes and see how you'd feel if you were him - facing the loss of one you didn't want to disappoint or feeling like you were getting backed into some kind of 'corner'.



*tips his hat*

- Mr. S

_____________________________

"I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. ...I'm certainly not. And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am..."

(in reply to desertdancer)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 8:07:08 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: indibob

Anyone like to comment on this please?


Yes, i'd like to comment.  I was in a long term relationship with a man who developed ED due to his medical conditions so i can say i have some experience with it.  The relationship didn't end because of his ED.  He died.

Instead of just sex...think of intimacy and sensuality.  Get inventive.  Get rid of the "poor me" attitude.  Some of the best sex that can be had is with someone with ED....IF you get rid of that bad attitude.  Instead of intimacy lasting 1/2 hour or so..or even less..think about intimacy lasting 3 hours.  You can give her multiple orgasms.  Stop thinking of sex as merely sticking it in.  Think of touching and teasing and making every nerve in her body tingle with desire.  Then think of the wonderful orgasms YOU can give to her because you are an excellent lover and have mastered the arts of making love and intimacy and sensuality. 

Your attitude of being unworthy is a crock...  It just points to the fact that you're too lazy or too uninventive to think of ways to please your woman.  It's so much easier to have her have sex with another than to work at making a good sex life for both of you. 

I'm sorry if this seems to be a rant..which it is.  Your attitude just makes me so angry when i know that with a change of attitude you could most likely be the best lover some great Mistress has ever had.  However, that won't happen because you'd rather be a cuckhold than give that lady the best you have to give. 




(in reply to indibob)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 8:24:20 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		i was also in a relationship with a dominant who had this problem, it didn't phase me a bit.  there are many ways to fine sexual fulfillment and it was quite fun to see how creative we could get.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 8:35:46 AM   
Bobbie9395


Posts: 38
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Peppermint, you're exactly right.  If you care enough about the person you're with, you just improvise.  It was enough for me to be close to him, to enjoy the times we were together.  And, our lovemaking sessions never lasted less than two hours.  Between his oral talent and ability to use a dildo, I NEVER failed to orgasms several times.  It even got to the point where I was able to gush on occasion.  And, he very obviously enjoyed it, as well.  I have no idea what caused his ED.  We never discussed it.  I never asked him why he didn't use "the pill."  It's not for everyone; can have unpleasant side effects for some.  But, it was never a problem for me.  We've both moved on, but I still have those memories.

I've just begun my first D/s relationship, and he, too, has an ED situation.  But, as in my previous experience, my affection for him will far outshadow the times he can't get an erection.  There are too many ways of improvising.  He does use the pill on occasion, though I have yet to experience that.  If he never takes it when with me, I could care less, except that I want him to enjoy our times together as much as I do.  His ED is not going to be a problem for us at all.  I've already developed a deep affection for him and adore him because of who he is, NOT because of the size of his penis or his ability to use it.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 10:40:54 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Yes, it matters.

I dated a guy who told me he went off his heart meds so he COULD return to having hardons for me. Apparently, it is medication that he could be off of for months at a time.

That knocked me for a loop.  Stupidest idea on earth.  I thought 'what kind of moron chooses heart attack over sex?'

He ain't that mentally balanced if he put his sex life over his life.  

(in reply to Bobbie9395)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 10:52:55 AM   
Bobbie9395


Posts: 38
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Too true, came4u.  My new master has diabetes, which has resulted in his ED.  Thankfully, he's under a doctor's care.  I would NEVER want him to use the pill to the detriment of his health.  I just don't give a flip if he can get an erection or not.  I want him around for a long, long time.  And, if that means NOT taking the pill, that's fine with me.

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/30/2007 10:57:57 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Well, I agree.  His first heart surg. was in his late 20's early 30's. 

Why I thought it was nuts is that he didn't tell me about this nonsense.  Glad I walked out of that situation, he acts, walks and talks like someone 95 anyhoo.  Worse thing about it, he is mid fifties as a new 'dom' trollin about the site for some female 'prey' to lie to here lol. My fault though, I showed him this site grrr.  He spend 20 years with a woman who whipped him and now wants to make up for it I guess LMAO.

(in reply to Bobbie9395)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/31/2007 8:08:32 AM   
BossySSBBW


Posts: 132
Joined: 5/18/2006
Status: offline 		Just my opinion, always be honest about it.  I personally do not find anything wrong with a man with ED.  What I do find funny is the number of men with ED who do not understand they can still have just as intense an orgasm without the stiff penis, as with it.  There are always methods to acheive the same "mind blowing" orgasms he had before the erectile problems began.

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/31/2007 12:13:57 PM   
KindLadyGrey


Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline 		I wouldn't have a problem with the pragmatic consequences of ED. I don't consider sex a prerequisite for having an emotionally intimate relationship, and would happily date someone with ED or a similar problem.

On the other hand, I know a few men with ED, and they are all very insecure about it, and I DO have a problem with that. I could handle the ED, but I probably couldn't handle needing to constantly reassure a man or deal with his insecurities about the issue.

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 12/31/2007 12:25:57 PM   
Bobbie9395


Posts: 38
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		I agree 100% and would probably have a problem with any insecurity, too.  However, I'm happy to say neither of them seemed/seem to have a problem in that area.  Of course, I never, EVER made/make either of them feel less than a man in any way.  Sex with both of them was/is fantastic, and I told them so each time.  But, even if I didn't tell them, I'm sure my reaction did.

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Erectile Dysfunction Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094