RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best?

RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (Full Version)

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fsub4use -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/14/2007 9:12:37 AM)
I suggest you go to the chatrooms as well. There are really nice people in there, and if I'm reading your profile correctly, you are pretty articulate. I chat with a lot of really nice people on this site - it's much less hard core than other websites. I know people sometimes complain because we're talking about the cost of a cup of coffee or how much snow fell in Buffalo last week, but it's a way to meet people generally. And well, you did say you wanted to meet someone. Usually the people there know other people and they often read profiles. You don't have to play on line (although you can if you want). Also, I found that with my nick (which I now really don't like), I got a lot of guys wanting quickies and it's not what I want... So, in the rooms, I go by a different, happier non sexual type name and get a looooooot less nonsense. (Maybe I'd better change it here, too... ahhhh but I'd have to start over again with a vanilla ice cream cone, and I don't get any emails much anyway - too far away from everybody). good luck. peace.

bound4trouble -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/15/2007 3:46:38 AM)
although these sights are wonderful, i still think one of the best ways to meet another is through local munch groups... i'm not sure if the OC group is still up and running (as it's been a few years since i was last in the OC) but if it is still in operation i would highly recommend checking into it. Overall i would say the OC group was one of my favorites, and i've been around alot of groups through the years.

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/15/2007 4:10:10 AM)
I'll go ahead and echo what others have said about posting here in the forums. I first contacted Michael here after reading his posts for a while and getting to know him a bit through these boards. On his profile at the time, he wrote "if you want to get to know me, read my posts on the message boards. Easy way to tell if someone is full of shit or not." Now I tell potential subs to read up on me on the boards as well..

CantWaitAnymore -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/15/2007 4:43:10 PM)
yeah I'm thinking of going to the local group here, someone sent me a yahoo group about it. Meh. I did make a new profile though, you can find it at "SterlingDS". Still a work in progress though. I almost whish that these places had some sort of Ebay-like metric, so that you could sort of prove yourself, but not keep having to do it over and over. Anyway, thanks for the continued advice, I suppose I will go forum browsing now :)

lusciouslips19 -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/15/2007 4:58:18 PM)
I use to say I would never go to clubs or munches. Now I recently joined a nice local club. It has put me in contact with wonderful and friendly people who are very open. It has given me a sense of belonging. Also, much to my suprise, I talked to people I recognized from profiles or didnt recognize, but they introduced themselves. It turns out that they looked much better in person or we hit it off even though I had turned them down due to not matching my criteria. Hopefully, you are understanding the point I am making. At clubs there are no pretenders and everyone is verifiable. At least by reputation at the club.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/15/2007 8:45:46 PM)
I have said this before to some of my lifestyle friends..I want to be wanted first for ME ,the submissive..not the submissive who happens to be me...and frankly, I think you used collarme rather well...you posted in ask a sub/slave forum on how to attract a pet, and got many sub/slaves to view your profile..not to bad at all!!!...:0)...Tempting

Typcynic -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/15/2007 9:16:30 PM)
lusciouslips19 raises a good point. That the people she met in person were more attractive in person and they were people she might not have met based on their profile alone. I sometimes get in trouble because I can have a satiric sense of humor that some ladies misunderstand, they take my words too literally. But what can one do? If you self-censor yourself then you're not being yourself. And as for adding pictures, I got better response when I didn't have one posted. I guess the ladies prefer the fantasy to the reality.

SterlingDS -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/16/2007 11:08:34 PM)
Hi there, this is "CantWaitAnymore" from the above. So, I made a new profile, as promised, without the desperate-sounding name. I also wrote a bit less 'vanilla' with my desires, I think I gave that vibe too much because I was a tad shy to share them, thinking too hard about not turning someone I liked off, as opposed to just stating what I am looking for. Hmm, in any case, please go ahead and disect this one too now :) Hopefully it's at least a tad more interesting!

sexyred1 -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/16/2007 11:24:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SterlingDS Hi there, this is "CantWaitAnymore" from the above. So, I made a new profile, as promised, without the desperate-sounding name. I also wrote a bit less 'vanilla' with my desires, I think I gave that vibe too much because I was a tad shy to share them, thinking too hard about not turning someone I liked off, as opposed to just stating what I am looking for. Hmm, in any case, please go ahead and disect this one too now :) Hopefully it's at least a tad more interesting! Way, way, way better profile. Much more intriguing and thank god you dropped the desperate name. Now, just keep posting in the forums, there are lots of single subs here, believe me and as others have said, you find far more intelligent people here (at least I do) than just skimming profiles. It is also the internet, so don't put all your eggs in this one basket. :)

MystressDream -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/16/2007 11:32:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SterlingDS Hi there, this is "CantWaitAnymore" from the above. So, I made a new profile, as promised, without the desperate-sounding name. I also wrote a bit less 'vanilla' with my desires, I think I gave that vibe too much because I was a tad shy to share them, thinking too hard about not turning someone I liked off, as opposed to just stating what I am looking for. Hmm, in any case, please go ahead and disect this one too now :) Hopefully it's at least a tad more interesting! Very good!! Excellent profile, and a much better screen name! But, most of all, I want to commend you on listening to the advice that was given and acting on it. So many come on here, ask for help, and then shoot down any and all advice given. It is refreshing to see someone who actually listens. <smile> *If I was a submissive woman, your profile would attract my attention. I wish you well in your search.*

SterlingDS -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/17/2007 12:26:20 AM)
quote: Very good!! Excellent profile, and a much better screen name! But, most of all, I want to commend you on listening to the advice that was given and acting on it. So many come on here, ask for help, and then shoot down any and all advice given. It is refreshing to see someone who actually listens. If I was a submissive woman, your profile would attract my attention. I wish you well in your search. That's silly, you guys have given your time to help me out, I'm grateful. :) I've gotten lots of advice, almost all of it made a lot of sense. I still have to act on some of it, like getting a decent face-blacked-out picture up. One thing that was mentioned was going to the chat rooms, btw. I went last night and found it - tumultous. Mostly regulars involved in random messaging, how would anyone go about meeting in them? Or lower down it was a lot of dead rooms.

sunshinemiss -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/17/2007 4:19:00 AM)
Wow - that is the most amazing profile!!! It is beautiful... The girls are gonna be clawing to get to you if they are smart. Good luck and peace

SterlingDS -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/17/2007 1:35:19 PM)
Hahah well not so far, but only time well tell. Thanks sunshine :) I think I need to get a pic up first. Hard to go up to your friends and say 'Hey, would you take a picture of me? But just my body, please' :P Plus I hate cameras.

SingleRarity -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/17/2007 7:22:58 PM)
Okay..my advice is going to be a bit different from what others have given. Granted I didn't read all responses, but never the less, here it goes. Posting on the forums means crap to me. If you're posting one hundred times a day, when are you playing or grocery shopping for that matter? I have little respect for the thousand post club. I would recommend posting only when you have something creative and truly original to say. Nothing says 'no life' more than a post that reads "Wow. Interesting post. I don't know anything about this." There is someone out there for you, someone striking and intriguing whose fetishes match your own, and they are going to find you. Go to a munch babe. Meet some people. Get off the internet. Cheers, Daddy's Ballerina "e" The above sounded a bit mean...I'm not saying never post. Just don't overpost to get noticed. It looks desperate. Edited for niceness!!!

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/17/2007 9:12:20 PM)
Sighs....yep a most excellent profile...now if you could only be ..ummm...10 years older.....and closer to the midwest..well........tempting for sure!!..~wink~.....Tempting

spatejak -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/20/2007 5:28:10 PM)
Hi guy[sm=hello.gif] I've had the same problem. However, my background, approach, and what I'm looking for are very different from yours. I made a similar posting on this forum entitled "marketing research." However, I only got ten answers. Maybe we should compare notes. PS: I would be happy if any of you fine ladies would be interested on my profile.

KnOcala -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/20/2007 6:10:27 PM)
the munch I attended was not any different then any group meeting for lunch at a restaurant. Well maybe a little differnet but very casual, warm and inviting. I will attend another with no hesitation. There was a party/get together afterwards which i was invited to and it was also friendly, not threatening and I got to meet some very noce people and learn a few things as well. There was no pressure and I think a great way to meet people and much safer then the internet.

SterlingDS -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (12/31/2007 6:55:13 PM)
Things are working out well! I've already talked to a few nice subs from here, and met up with one, which went exceedingly well. Seems like next year is already looking bright for me. Thanks for the advice, everyone.

Sexynmentalinkc -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (1/1/2008 7:25:53 AM)
As others have stated, it's just life on da' Net. You correctly aluded to a big part of the issue - women can and do get inundated with emails and it's simply impractical for them to reply to any but the clear stand-outs. I'm sure that means there's probably emails from a lot of good/great guys they end up missing but the cookie doth crumble that way. I didn't read your profile but some of the advice I've had, from trusted friends, on that is - keep it brief. If you want to appeal to one that likes more info, keep that to the journal. My advice: Be patient - It's a marathon, not a dash Be yourself - At all times...it betters your chance to find the right "her" (if that's what you're here to do) Be active - Continue doing as you're doing: read profiles, write respectful, (hopefully) humorous intro emails that show you have a brain and are responding to specific things that catch your eye on their profile, interact on the forums. It's more important to get it right than to get it fast (and the nick does seem a bit....impatient - which I'm sure we can all empathize a bit with)... quote: ORIGINAL: CantWaitAnymore Well, I certainly don't expect everyone who I write something to to send me a reply! That'd be silly. I'd be happy if it was a 10% hit rate, honestly. I'd suggest not even trying to mentally track that number - it'll only lead to more frustration. If you get overly focused on "Why won't anyone answer back!?!", it will only make THAT the focus of what you're doing. Just blast off an email and move on. quote: ORIGINAL: CantWaitAnymore Many sub profiles have something in them along the lines of "don't want cut and paste, read my profile first, etc". It's a little hard to keep writing honest emails to someone, mentioning what caught your eyes, when the reply rate dips too low. Yet, that's what you need to keep doing. shrug Hopefully, it's not hard writing honest emails - you should keep them honest all the time. I know that what's hard is feeling like you're doing 'the work' and getting too little in return. Again, that's focusing on your reply rate instead of just being you. quote: ORIGINAL: CantWaitAnymore I've just found that that first step, at least with online things, is by far the most difficult one. It's odd especially for a Dom, because in some ways it's a role reversal - you're in a vulnerable position... .....only if you feel that way... quote: ...seeking, sending your thoughts out, and the submissives are at their leisure to reply or not, very very much in control of the situation. It's the nature of the imbalanced male/female ratio online, of course. Bingo. That being said, the 'game' isn't gonna change - so all you can do is change how you play it or how you view it, if you feel like you're not winning. Like the song says, you're not gonna stop the rain by complainin' (note: I'm not sayin' I find you whiny about this issue - I can empathize, in fact). So, you might as well learn just shrug and learn to love dancin' in the rain. grabs his umbrella, tippin' his hat - Mr. S

christine1 -> RE: How do you suggest I go about using CM best? (1/1/2008 7:40:52 AM)
within my first 2 days of being on this site, i got a few mails from dominants and submissives telling me that i shouldn't be looking to find a partner here because it wasn't going to happen...i found that very strange since it says clearly in my profile that i'm looking for friends only right now. anyway, i'd have to say that there are some very nice people here and maybe starting off with no expectations of anything other than making friends would suit you. i know you said you don't want to wait, but it seems to me that the best things come along when we aren't actively searching for them....just my 2 cents.

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