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Rumtiger -> 22 things I learned (12/13/2007 9:38:49 AM)
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A few things I learned the other night.
1. Clubs are for girls means exactly that, a guy like me shouldent bother.
2. I now hate pop remixes to the point i'll go into a homicidal rage.
3. Trying jokes on a girl dosent work when she cant hear you over the music.
4. Or when your set on getting inebriated.
5. Just because a girl is wearing a skintight catsuit, dosent mean shes into BDSM.
6. The kinds of girls who go out wearing skintight catsuits and arent into BDSM ussualy have very big vanilla boyfriends.
7. Alcahol only numbs the senses that you dont really need at the time.
8. Pain for example is one that would be rather helpful to have had numbed.
9. Groin and throat shots may be desperate, but effecitive.
10. Being the smaller guy means you can vanish really quickly in a crowd full of dancing people, loud music, and flashing lights.
11. Finding that the only suitable place to drink is the bar only a block away from your place really makes you feel like an asshole.
12. Wasting money on the video gambling seats at the bar makes you feel like an even bigger asshole.
13. Having your friend show up after half an hour because you wound up accidently leaving him at the club previously just plain out makes you into an asshole...forget about feeling like one buddy.
14. One shot of makers, one glass of cheap beer, slug the shot and down the glass, try to beat your speed record each time. This game dosent turn out to be so fun after a while.
15. A guy with a Long Island accent is actually saying "Mario" not "Mary-o"
16. Saying you'll kill Mario and fuck Princess Toadstool in the ass does not make you look tough or smart.
17. Whoever said greasy food soaks up alcahol needs to get stabbed in the face for misleading us all.
18. Cheese and bacon filled potato skins with sour cream taste exactly the same the second time around.
19. Ordering a burger "extra rare" just because you know it creeps out the female bartender may be immature...but its fun as hell.
20. Strangley, virtually raw meat does seem to help soak up booze, eccspeically when it's paired with a baily's n java.
21. If you see a cute girl, alone, at a bar, at close to 4 in the morning who is too cute to be doing such a thing, it means that something off with her, it does not mean you should attempt to pick her up.
22. A good escape option with a crazy girl is to say that your missing Howard Stern and get the hell out of there.
the rest of what happened that night is information I already learned previously.
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