RE: slut or submissive?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: slut or submissive?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: slut or submissive?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: slut or submissive? - 12/16/2007 8:48:20 PM

exquisitefeline1

Posts: 69
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline

It's pretty common. Yes. Bored of it now. *Yawns*
Unfortunately setting your profile to Dominant, doesn't come with a prerequisite for brains too.
i am just here to use the forums, it relieves my boredom.

(in reply to SubmissiveAK)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: slut or submissive? - 12/16/2007 11:27:43 PM

SubmissiveAK

Posts: 94
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiosDeEsclavas
I don't really understand why you wouldn't talk about your BDSM preference almost immediately.

Well actually, I didn't realize he was dominant at first. It started off as a talk about my sexual desires and his desire to fill them, but unlike most such calls I didn't brush him off... he is fun to talk to. He's also not looking for an exclusive or M/s relationship. I think he just wants to open up my sexual desires, train me to be a good slut and have his fun with me. I wouldn't be submitting to him, I wouldn't be "his". At most it might lead to him topping me. (I hate to use the word bottoming--_^ )

playfully curious,
~submissiveAK~

(in reply to DiosDeEsclavas)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: slut or submissive? - 12/16/2007 11:37:16 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Do not mistake someone wanting to train you as a slut and someone wanting sex. They are not one in the same. You are going to run into a LOT of men on this site who are interested in getting as much sex as they want, and they call it slut training. You learn nothing, really, and they get off as much as they'd like. While that works fine for some, is that what you really want a relationship to be based on?
If you want someone to view you as a sex object and nothing more, than theres nothing wrong with that. That is very easy to find. If you want something more serious, then you have to seek it out from the beginning. Adding sex to a D/s relationship is cake, turning a sexual relationship into D/s isnt as easy.

My 2 cents.
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SubmissiveAK)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: slut or submissive? - 12/17/2007 9:31:04 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

For many people, the kink lifestyle gives them a reason (or an excuse, depending on your viewpoint) to become who they really want to be. A lot of time for submissive women, this is being as sexually free as the desire. Having a Dom given them "permission" to be a slut takes away some of the guilt society has pounded into us about sexuality. It's not entirely healthy, in my opinion; people should learn to be who they want without the permission of another, but it's at least a start.

Het men who are horny have realized that kinky het women are often more open to sexual exploration and whatnot. Thus, they see them as an easy lay. In fact, Maxim ran an articles several years ago telling me that if they wanted a hot time in bed to find a Fem Dom. *rolls eyes*

Master Fire - who might be easy, but who is NOT cheap. *chuckle*

I enjoyed this and unfortunately agree too often the case.

My experience, and I will admit to one thinking sexual aspects are a big part of it for me, those who only could talk about sex and those who could not talk about sex were ones I stayed away from. Heck, I am on this site, so some pretty darn intimate information has been given to strangers so I do not dismiss off hand sexual talk.

It is unfortunate but one of the pesky problems for many of us in all types of relationships is that while most think sex should not be the only thing or dwarf other things but often it is the first big thing we do merge with our other. In a power exchange relationship most of us will give that power up before lets say moving in together, career choices, going 24/7 and so on. When talking about a relationship, when exploring power exchange sex tends to go upfront because it is sex and can be the most accessible thing to play around with.

Most stay into this life because it frees themselves up from both sides. Sexuality is for most people on the planet often the thing they most have chained up. If that is all they want then that should be stated upfront and if that is not your cup of tea then pass. There should be plenty of people wanting more and/or willing to explore other avenues.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: slut or submissive? - 12/23/2007 2:15:31 PM

kinkypuppy2

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

also just as unfortunate most of them are all talk and imagination and have no idea about reality.

_____________________________

See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to SubmissiveAK)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: slut or submissive? - 12/23/2007 9:55:15 PM

PronePalabras

Posts: 37
Joined: 12/22/2007
Status: offline

and thusly it makes it all the more confusing and hard for the rest of us to whom this lifestyle is only 10% sex ...sure sex is great but if i cant talk with someone on my level about things i like to talk about ..its all for naught.

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: slut or submissive? - 12/23/2007 11:06:54 PM

subelaine

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline

I can only speak for myself... everyone has their own opinion.

First of all you need to know what you're looking for. Are you looking for just a fuck buddy or are you looking for something deeper and more meaningful?

The so called slut-training is a red flag to me. There's no training... he'll treat you like a slut and fuck you like a slut-- End of story! He got what he wanted. The question is, " Did you?" If so... no harm done.

When I started conversing with my Master we really didn't mention sex. That would have been a really big turn-off for me. He asked pertinent questions about me. He wanted to know everything He could about me... my likes, my dislikes, my interest, my hobbies, my profession, what I did that day, how I felt about this or that, etc.

It was only after we became comfortable and familiar with each other that we started talking about sex. And that was more on the playful side... such as needing a spanking, throwing cyper pillows back and forth at each other, and a tad bit more that need not be shared. *evil grin*

I became His slut after I accepted His collar!

I believe before a LT relationship can get on it's feet... you must take interest in the person for whom they are, get to know them. Perhaps your likes and dislikes would differ so much in general that you wouldn't be compatible to start with. Why waste both parties time if that's the case? End it then.

You keep mentioning that you had no idea that he was a Dom? Does it really matter? And who said he was a dom, him?

Bottom line... What are you looking for? Only you can decide that!

Best of luck! That's my 2 cents worth.....

(in reply to PronePalabras)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: slut or submissive? - 12/24/2007 7:10:32 AM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkypuppy2

also just as unfortunate most of them are all talk and imagination and have no idea about reality.

Well said, pup2! The guy described by the OP may be fun to talk with, but as some point you gotta brew, not talk! (Citing an old National beer commercial from when i was a kid)

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)

Profile

Post #: 28