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ORIGINAL: slavekal

Form a male perspective, women who identify with this lifestyle as dominant sometimes seem to forget that it is a sexual thing.  A submissive man is not entirely altruistic, we don't get an intrinsic thrill from washing dishes.  A dog wants to please, but you gotta throw him a frisbee once in a while, rub his belly, and give him a Scooby snack from time to time.  And a Mistress can't revert back to almost pure vanilla and expect a man to keep up his enthusiasm for serving.  You can't be passively dominant.

quote:

ORIGINAL: trueshadow
I agree.  I'd love for me to be a pure, unselfish slave, utterly devoted 100% to my Superior.  However, I've served a woman who wouldn't even touch me.  I found service to her to ultimately unsatisfying.  I don't ask for sexual favors, etc., but I do at least need to be touched.

Put another way, I'm going to stay with a Domme who best fulfills me and my needs/wants/desires.  I will serve without some of these met, but it's a continum, and the more my needs are met, the happier I'm going to be, the more gladly I'm going to serve, and the longer I'm going to stay, and the more I'm going to put up with.

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

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ORIGINAL: LotusSong

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
You presume far too much, and you missed the point, as expected.

You did too. 

Nope, didn't miss your point. Unfortunately, it wasn't relevant. All you did was make false presumptions about me, and then proceeded to state the obvious about what dommes like service subs to do. None of that had anything to do with my comments.

And, since this is getting tiresome (to everyone, I imagine), I'm not going to bother to respond to any more here. Say what you want. I'd rather let the thread get back on track if anyone has more to contribute.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Form a male perspective, women who identify with this lifestyle as dominant sometimes seem to forget that it is a sexual thing.  A submissive man is not entirely altruistic, we don't get an intrinsic thrill from washing dishes.  A dog wants to please, but you gotta throw him a frisbee once in a while, rub his belly, and give him a Scooby snack from time to time.  And a Mistress can't revert back to almost pure vanilla and expect a man to keep up his enthusiasm for serving.  You can't be passively dominant.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Here is the ironic thing. In my experience, most submissives, in initial conversations, care very little about "why" a woman is dominant -- just want to know what she is into/what she does.  The question of, "Why do you enjoy doing this? What motivates you? Why are you like this?  What things have you learned that you enjoy that you did not expect and how did that happen?  What are your fantasies that you hold closest to yourself protectively?" -- I find these are not the questions submissives ask. They ask, "What would you do to me?  What kinky acts do you enjoy? Do you have any orders for me?  What questions do you have for me?"

It's not all the time, but it's quite frequent. 
I'll post something I wrote in 1997 (yikes, I'm old!) about this issue.  It's fairly melodramatic, so take it with a grain of salt if you can get through it.  I was struggling through some issues at the time with feeling objectified by submissive men.

**



When I was very young, I used to actively fantasize about kidnapping and keeping a boy prisoner. This boy might be a made-up character, or the boy sitting across from my in my first grade class.

Even at that young age, I found the thoughts to be more than just idle fantasy. I found something very uniquely intense about the images, which were often elaborate.

I knew I was different. But I saw it -- in an abstract way -- like it was a gift. Like I was a sly, sinister, cunning little creature.

This, I know, even though I wasn't even in my teens.

To this day, when I look at a man and decide I must have him, the rush is the same. I feel almost like the evil sexy vixen in a movie, plotting something dangerous and nasty, and the rush alone is exciting. Now, as an adult, the desires are more tangible -- I can formulate and predict what might happen. Hell, I can even try to make them a reality. I can *make* that boy my prisoner.

This desire is, and always has been, a very mystic, primal, and passionate thing to me.

Unfortunately, few men see it that way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

For an emotional sub, what he really needs to be saying is, "I just really want to please (when I feel mutually attracted and/or in love)" or "I like to make a woman happy (if she's as invested in making me happy)" or "I love following instructions (if I know I will be praised, rewarded and cherished by a lady who adorse me)."   Those are HONEST.  These open ended promises of devotion are tired and most often empty. Be honest with yourself and the woman you are talking to.  What DO you NEED?

Please, give me an open ended, devoted man who wants to please me unconditionally without any of the above criteria!  They are rare, but they do exist.  And they have to be cherished, nurtured and NEVER taken advantage of. Still, it requires some chemistry or forget it - as it should be!

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Here is the ironic thing. In my experience, most submissives, in initial conversations, care very little about "why" a woman is dominant -- just want to know what she is into/what she does.  The question of, "Why do you enjoy doing this? What motivates you? Why are you like this?  What things have you learned that you enjoy that you did not expect and how did that happen?  What are your fantasies that you hold closest to yourself protectively?" -- I find these are not the questions submissives ask. They ask, "What would you do to me?  What kinky acts do you enjoy? Do you have any orders for me?  What questions do you have for me?"

It's not all the time, but it's quite frequent. 
I'll post something I wrote in 1997 (yikes, I'm old!) about this issue.  It's fairly melodramatic, so take it with a grain of salt if you can get through it.  I was struggling through some issues at the time with feeling objectified by submissive men.

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ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

i was just wondering how the submissive male population on this forum see's their submissiveness. Is it exactly the same as us females or is it different?