cherrytvsissy
Posts: 13
Joined: 10/16/2005
From: New Orleans, Louisiana
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
The most intense humiliation scenarios I have done are ones that left the submissive so shaken and bruised (from a pride standpoint) that he he reacted with intense embarassment or shame, but later, as soon as the shame subsided, his reaction was unbelievable, intense arousal. Then, into the following days, he would reflect on the act and find that he was even MORE aroused by it. Even though during the at he was mortified and ashamed, he realized in retrospect, he enjoyed every moment of it.
Akasha
This statement caught my attention because it really describes how I came to realize that the D/s experience was wired into my nature.
I was on a date with a new Girlfriend with whom I had previously admitted, in flirting, that I liked to crossdress. I heard about a BDSM exhibition at the Ruby Fruit Jungle, a Lesbian nightclub in the Faubourg Marigny in New Orleans. Even through neither of us had any prior exposure to BDSM, we decided to go just out of curiosity. It turned out, I was very shy and just sat in the shadows and watched, but my Date was totally fascinated and ran around taking to everybody. After a little while my Date came back with a very assertive Woman that was (as I subsequently understood) a Domme. She had that presence, that mystique, that natural authority. Right in front of my Date, and around about half a dozen people in earshot, She just looked me in eye and said, as much as asked, "So you’re a crossdresser?" I was shocked, embarrassed and caught so off guard I couldn’t answer. (My Date, apparently had remembered what I had said before, and had told Her about me.) "Are you wearing panties right now?" She demanded to know. I knew She knew, and I had to answer, "Yes." I felt like everyone in the place was hearing me make that confession. "Come this way," She ordered. She directed and escorted me into the small Ladies’ Room, my Date following. I don’t normally go into Ladies’ Rooms, especially in public places, especially with what felt like everyone watching. So I hesitated, but She just pointed at the door and said, In" and I obeyed. Once the three of us were inside, the Domme ordered me to show my Date what my panties looked like. "Strip," she commanded. Feeling out of place enough in the Ladies’ Room, I looked at the unlocked look. The Domme saw my face and read my thoughts. It only made Her more aggressive, "Strip," She ordered again. My date could barely catch her breath as I started to undress, not because of what I was doing, but because She so impressed by the power, mystique, presence and authority of the Domme. It wasn’t too long before all my outer clothes were in a pile on the floor and I was standing barefoot in the Ladies’ Room in nothing but my panties and cami top. Everything I had learned up to this point in my life taught me I shouldn’t have gone in the room, should not have obeyed, should not have stripped, should not, never, have let myself be exposed in public, in panties. But, there I was, unable to resist, doing as told. I turned around so They could see me front and back; I held my arms out and pirouetted, I posed, I pranced. I stood still and obeyed as the Domme ordered me to let my Date inspect my undies by touching me anywhere and everywhere She wanted. I watched them both stare at me, without words, but talking to each other with raised eyebrows, smiles and giggles. I felt like I was in a dream, unwilling, but unable to stop. Finally with a gesture of "Voa~la" from the Domme, and an unspoken acknowledgement to Her from my Date, They just left me alone like that in the unlocked Ladies’ Room. I was truly scared and mortified, especially as I rushed to get dressed again expecting anyone to walk in and catch me. When I came out, my Date and the Domme were exchanging numbers. The rest of the night went much like the first part, me sitting, maybe hiding, in the shadows and my Date engaging everyone in conversation. Earlier that evening my Date expressed an interest in putting me on a wheel like contraption and spanking me. I wouldn’t do it. Now She came to me and simply ordered me on to the wheel. I did it.
Anyway, the point is, I agree that in the days afterward the experience was way more intense than it was in real time. Perhaps I was just too nervous; to mortified, too truly humiliated to appreciate it when it was happening. It fact, it was my reflections on this one event that ultimately gave me the awakening and understanding of my needs and desires to be part of a D/s relationship and to find intensity, liberation and satisfaction through obedience. To this day, as drawn as I am to the D/s scenario, I still feel intense fear, hesitation and self doubts … but I do my best to push forward, surrender, humiliate myself and abide, because in the end, I know it will have been worth it (especially if it earns a smile from the Lady.)
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Is it humiliation if he's wearing a shit eating grin? - 
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RE: Is it humiliation if he's wearing a shit eating grin? - 
Needless to say, my slutty side wins in these situations. While I do tend to be reluctant, I still follow through, though I may either need time to build up the courage to go through with whatever the plan is, or possibly some stronger encouragement. 
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