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Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 1:58:18 PM   
BondageSlaveMN


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I just read a response that made me wonder what people's perceptions are regarding this thought.

Are some people simply hard wired for the BDSM lifestyle? In other words, were they born with the need and fate to live with BDSM?

I have a few ideas of my own on this matter, but they are hardly well flushed out and articulate at this point. I will post a follow up once I've thought more about it.

Edit: A secondary question to the one posed above is this (answer it only if you are comfortable doing so): Do any of your close relatives (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles or grandparents) have the "BDSM kink?"

This question seems relevent to me because I am a biology major. Once there are more responses, I'll add to the notion of familial transferance. I'm not really asking if you think it's genetic or not, I just want to see if there are any correlations.


< Message edited by BondageSlaveMN -- 12/14/2007 2:47:39 PM >
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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 2:20:37 PM   
forg0ttenclone


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I believe i am hard-wired for this lifestyle.  It is who i am and a part of me.  I ran from it for a long time.  No matter how much i ran or tried to ignore it, it was always there.  Now that i have embraced who and what i am, become involved in the lifestyle, and serve a magnificent Goddess, i am now completely content.  I believe whole heartedly that people are hard-wired for this lifestyle.  It's a part of who we are.

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 2:27:00 PM   
SingleRarity


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I believe that many, if not most, are simply hard wired for BDSM. Nearly everyone I've spoken to on this topic can describe being interested on some level in BDSM related activities for as long as they can remember.

-A

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 2:27:20 PM   
BondageSlaveMN


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quote:

ORIGINAL: forg0ttenclone

I believe i am hard-wired for this lifestyle.  It is who i am and a part of me.  I ran from it for a long time.  No matter how much i ran or tried to ignore it, it was always there.  Now that i have embraced who and what i am, become involved in the lifestyle, and serve a magnificent Goddess, i am now completely content.  I believe whole heartedly that people are hard-wired for this lifestyle.  It's a part of who we are.


Please keep in mind that I am not challenging your beliefs, I simply want to understand.

So it is your contention that there was no event(s) in your life that altered your personal make-up such that you become "BDSM identifying?"

Part of my reason for posting this was to stimulate people into looking deep within themselves to find why they are here. The thoughts that spurred me to write this post has gotten me to reflect on why I am here as well; this is something that I need to give much more thought to.

I too have spent some time denying my nature and running from it so I definately understand, at least in part, what you mean when you say that.

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 2:33:52 PM   
beargonewild


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My thoughts is the basic framework for this lifestyle is hardwired into our psyche. It is through our own life experiences which builds upon this to help create who we are as an individual. 

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 2:50:27 PM   
Rover


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There is a general consensus (and growing body of medical evidence) to suggest that the attraction to S/M is inate (hard wired).  I believe most folks would feel the same about dominance and submission as personality traits, though that is not always associated with a power exchange relationship dynamic.
 
John

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 2:55:13 PM   
SunNMoon


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I believe that I was hardwired for BDSM actives considering that I had basically the dream childhood in so many ways. I also came up with a lot of my desired actives independent from other sources (at least that’s how I remember it happening).

Well I don’t know. My family just doesn’t talk about that kind of thing (no sexual talk) and I don’t even talk about it with my sibling it’d just be too weird.

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 3:12:23 PM   
MasterFireMaam


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I think it's much like being gay or lesbian; it's both nature and nuture. I have relatives who also are kinky, and I know that friend with UMs have seen traits in their offspring (although, it could just be that they're more sensitive to seeing things related to kink).

Master Fire


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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 3:16:56 PM   
forg0ttenclone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageSlaveMN

Please keep in mind that I am not challenging your beliefs, I simply want to understand.

So it is your contention that there was no event(s) in your life that altered your personal make-up such that you become "BDSM identifying?"

Part of my reason for posting this was to stimulate people into looking deep within themselves to find why they are here. The thoughts that spurred me to write this post has gotten me to reflect on why I am here as well; this is something that I need to give much more thought to.

I too have spent some time denying my nature and running from it so I definately understand, at least in part, what you mean when you say that.




There have been no event(s) in my life to lead me here.  Much self reflection and contemplating took place before accepting this lifestyle completely as who i am.  It is not something you just simply jump into.  I'm a cautious and intellectual person to begin with, so before jumping in with both feet, i took a long hard look at myself and the lifestyle to see if this is truly where i belong.


_____________________________

Pete


"I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains have tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine!"

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 3:51:51 PM   
eevin


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i think i was hard wired for the lifestyle.  But as far as i know, no one in my family is into it.  Though my dad seems to be a sex maniac!

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 3:54:53 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageSlaveMN

I just read a response that made me wonder what people's perceptions are regarding this thought.

Are some people simply hard wired for the BDSM lifestyle? In other words, were they born with the need and fate to live with BDSM?

I have a few ideas of my own on this matter, but they are hardly well flushed out and articulate at this point. I will post a follow up once I've thought more about it.

Edit: A secondary question to the one posed above is this (answer it only if you are comfortable doing so): Do any of your close relatives (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles or grandparents) have the "BDSM kink?"

This question seems relevent to me because I am a biology major. Once there are more responses, I'll add to the notion of familial transferance. I'm not really asking if you think it's genetic or not, I just want to see if there are any correlations.


I was NOT hard wired for BDSM; no.

I do believe, however, that I was, am, and will always be, hard wired towards violence. BDSM just helps me to harness that violence.

_____________________________

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 3:57:21 PM   
xiam


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageSlaveMN
...Do any of your close relatives (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles or grandparents) have the "BDSM kink?"

This question seems relevent to me because I am a biology major. Once there are more responses, I'll add to the notion of familial transferance. I'm not really asking if you think it's genetic or not, I just want to see if there are any correlations.



When i met my birth mother for the first time at the age of 21, imagine my surprise to find out that she was 24/7 submissive and had also worked for some time as a ProDomme.  Nature versus nurture is always an interesting topic to me given my background.  It actually helped me to stop questioning this side of myself and just accept myself for who i am.

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 4:44:30 PM   
SensibleSam


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Rather obviously D/s is nothing at all like homosexuality biologically - only poltically.

Consider the case for male homosexuality being genetic. Gay men have an enormous selection disadvange. That is to say if there were a spontaneous mutation that caused a man to prefer male sex partners, he would suffer greatly reduced odds for passing on his genotype. These things can be calculated and it is clear that any such hypothetical simple gene is impossible. There are complicated but not very convincing theories as to how a gene for male homosexuality yields greater fertility for the man's sisters and so on balance has a postive selection advantage.

It is possible that there is some genetic component or interaction in male homosexuality, but if so it isn't through any obvious simple genetic mechanism.

On the other hand standard male/Dominant and female/submissive theory doesn't need any arcane and counterintuitive genetic mechanism to be postulated. Standard male/female D/s increases sexual activity. Presumably it thereby increases progeny. If there were a single Mendelian allele for BDSM it would be favored by natural selection because it would tend to result in more babies. This is straighforward Darwin.

However the real answer is even simpler than that. Dominance and submission are widespread among mammals, especially among mammals who live socially. In most cases the Dominant male has exclusive or nearly exclusive access to the females. The females willingly submit sexually to the Dominant male. Baboons, orangatangs, gorillas, and chimps are organized this way. Dominant males beat the females (and lower rank males) routinely.

Go visit the Monkey House at your local zoo. BDSM won'r seem so strange to you after that.      

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 6:16:03 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageSlaveMN
Are some people simply hard wired for the BDSM lifestyle? In other words, were they born with the need and fate to live with BDSM?


I think that theory could be decisively proven with proper research. I'll use my own example. I have two major kinks: BDSM and female feet. I was strongly aroused (sans ejaculation) at age SEVEN (count 'em, 7) when watching a female whipping scene in a mainstream movie. My foot fetish may even predate that, because I can remember being aroused by watching barefoot women on TV programs that ran when I was FIVE or SIX!

Fascinating subject. I know of at least one other person (a sub) who had virtually the same experience concerning BDSM. Needs to be researched!!!

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 6:27:33 PM   
LATEXBABY64


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Maybe kink, bdsm no I think that is just a social sub culture way of changing things to fit in a box

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 7:45:36 PM   
Rover


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SensibleSam

Rather obviously D/s is nothing at all like homosexuality biologically - only poltically.


Actually, I would argue the reverse.  So does the medical evidence.

quote:


Consider the case for male homosexuality being genetic.


Yes, let's.  The same percentage (approximately ten %) of many species seems to be homosexual.  That's true in birds, apes, and humans (amongst others).  That would tend to suggest a significant genetic component.  Though that does not imply that genetics are the single factor in determining sexual orientation (ie: genetics can provide a predisposition, which can then be affected by environment in unknown ways).
 
There are also studies of twins that strongly suggest a genetic component to homosexuality (http://www.tim-taylor.com/papers/twin_studies/). 

quote:


Gay men have an enormous selection disadvange. That is to say if there were a spontaneous mutation that caused a man to prefer male sex partners, he would suffer greatly reduced odds for passing on his genotype.


And yet a consistent percentage of humans (and other species) are homosexual.  That would tend to imply a consistent genetic deviation.

quote:


These things can be calculated and it is clear that any such hypothetical simple gene is impossible. There are complicated but not very convincing theories as to how a gene for male homosexuality yields greater fertility for the man's sisters and so on balance has a postive selection advantage.


Key phrase being "simple gene".  No, there is no single "gay gene".  Genes don't operate that way.  There are complex genetic components, acting upon one another, in concert with one another, and influenced by exposures to differing hormone levels during gestation, and environmental factors post-birth that we do not understand.  And yet there is, undeniably, a significant genetic component.

quote:


It is possible that there is some genetic component or interaction in male homosexuality, but if so it isn't through any obvious simple genetic mechanism.


Do not discard or diminish the genetic component just because it isn't simple.  There is no simple genetic mechanism for the development of a nose, mouth, eyes, two hands/feet/arms/legs, etc. either, and yet we know that they are genetic in origin. 

quote:


On the other hand standard male/Dominant and female/submissive theory doesn't need any arcane and counterintuitive genetic mechanism to be postulated.


"Me tarzan, you jane" isn't arcane?  If your point is that men are generally physically dominant, then we might be in agreement (though there are exceptions to that generalization as well).  But if your point is that the Dominant and submissive roles in relationship dynamics are gender related, then I would take issue with you.  By what basis do you come to this conclusion?

quote:


Standard male/female D/s increases sexual activity.


Seriously, what orafice did you pull this out of?  Can you cite a single study that would suggest anything of the sort?

quote:


Presumably it thereby increases progeny. If there were a single Mendelian allele for BDSM it would be favored by natural selection because it would tend to result in more babies. This is straighforward Darwin.


Please share with us any human trait or characteristic that is contained in a single Mendelian allele.  List them all... I'll wait.  You can't because they don't exist. 

quote:


However the real answer is even simpler than that. Dominance and submission are widespread among mammals, especially among mammals who live socially. In most cases the Dominant male has exclusive or nearly exclusive access to the females. The females willingly submit sexually to the Dominant male. Baboons, orangatangs, gorillas, and chimps are organized this way. Dominant males beat the females (and lower rank males) routinely.


You're confusing physical dominance within a group, with a Dominant dynamic within a personal relationship.  They are unrelated, unless you'd like to admit that you're submissive because I can whip your.... ahem.

quote:


Go visit the Monkey House at your local zoo. BDSM won'r seem so strange to you after that.      


Seriously, what do you know of BDSM?  About as much as you know of genetics.
 
John

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Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 8:34:30 PM   
IrishMist


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John

As much as I disagree with most of what you say; there are times that even I find myself astounded after reading a post of yours.

Nicely said

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 8:55:35 PM   
Rover


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Even a blind squirrel will occasionally find a nut... and all that.  ;)
 
John

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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 9:01:25 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Even a blind squirrel will occasionally find a nut... and all that.  ;)
 
John

LOL

Great. Now I am a blind squirrel



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RE: Hard wired for BDSM? - 12/14/2007 9:04:32 PM   
Rover


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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

LOL

Great. Now I am a blind squirrel




Actually, I was (graciously) playing the part of the squirrel.   But if you prefer.....
 
John

< Message edited by Rover -- 12/14/2007 9:05:00 PM >


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