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...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 4:01:41 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Anyone who knows me knows I am not over my ex.  People who know me very well understand that I will never be over him.  I ended things between us a few years ago, not for my benefit, but because it was best for him.  And even though I was hurt I will never regret the time we shared, or the need to call it quits for him. 
He is my favorite mistake.
He has moved on even though I have not and I do my best to accept his new life.  His need to pull away from sadism is understandable to me, though I doubt he can maintain that for long.
Now and then he shows me sparks of that sadist I learned to love so well.  Not in actions, but in the looks he gives me, or the references to things we did in our past. 
So today..
Things went a bit further.  We didn't have sex, but there was more than flirtation.  He is still involved and still claims he is committed to his new life and I am trying hard to keep things in perspective, and I will.  I don't need to be hopeful at this point.
But, for the first time in years I feel real again.  I feel connected and not like someone just going through the motions of living.  I don't think this is going to happen again.  I think he needs to follow his path until he sees where it leads.  I understand that, in my life I have done it a few times.
I know I have to let him find his own way, no matter what.

He is my favorite mistake.  The one I will never regret, no matter what happens in the end. 
So.. what is your favorite mistake?  What is the one thing you regret losing, but never regret having gone through? 
Kyst


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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 4:09:52 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		You need to move on - responding to this thread in the way you asked, in my opinion, would be akin to enabling you.  You will never know what's possible when you limit yourself and indulge your past obsessively like you are doing here.  Live - that's what life is for. 

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(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 4:19:15 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		~fr~
If you regret losing and don't regret going through it, I can't see it as a mistake.

I realize this is a healing process you posting about not being over your Dom. However it doesn't sound like you made a mistake in your relationship.  While I have made several mistakes, I don't know if ever had a favorite one.  A favorite accident (or 2 or 3 is another thread all together).

Good luck to you!
Z-

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"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

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(in reply to velvetears)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 4:39:40 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
So.. what is your favorite mistake?  What is the one thing you regret losing, but never regret having gone through?

The few good times with my ex-husband.  I ended it for my own good, not his.  It had to be done.  But, there used to be some good days and I'll always treasure them just as Master does with the good times from his past relationships...............luci

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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 4:50:08 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		My take on this is that I don't regret any relationship I had in the past, and can look very fondly on many of them. But if I had never gotten over them, I never would have been open to finding my current slave/wife, with whom I will spend the rest of my life with.
Still pining for a past relationship even after years is a waste of those years in my opinion.

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Boycott Whales!

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 5:05:53 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		my past relationships are not mistakes...they are learning experiences...i would not be who i am today without them, tragic though they may be....but i won't go back to them...they are ex's for a reason....and sometimes i have to scream them inside my head when i see their number on the caller ID....but they are ex's for a reason and it is for the best....i learn from my past...and those relationships are best left in the past....

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 5:08:17 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

You need to move on - responding to this thread in the way you asked, in my opinion, would be akin to enabling you.  You will never know what's possible when you limit yourself and indulge your past obsessively like you are doing here.  Live - that's what life is for. 


100% agreement. It's easy to discuss and wallow in misery about past relationships. The more you do this, the longer it will take to move on and live a healthy life.

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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 5:09:50 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I dont have a favorite mistake.  I definately have favorite accidents, 2 of them to be exact. But mistakes? No, I have never enjoyed my mistakes. I have learned, but I have never really had a favorite.

DV


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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

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VampiresLair

(in reply to chellekitty)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 6:08:50 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		Kyst, it may seem that you'll never get over Him...but you can...and you will.

Keep your eyes open for someone new, not to replace him, but to convince yourself there are other men out there who can stir the passions inside you. Maybe he'll be "The One," more likely he won't. But you'll  have realized you can take charge of your own destiny.

Look at it the way someone once characterized the supposed lost love of my life: If he was truly "The One," if he were all that, would you have had to let him go because it was "best for him?"

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 6:10:40 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I have to agree that this is a pretty maso exercise.  I do like the song though.

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- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 7:13:40 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		i love this question. i have a favorite mistake. He was the best and worst thing that had ever happened to me.

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i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/14/2007 10:11:24 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I haven't had any mistakes when it comes to the people in my life. I believe in Sacred Contracts. This means each and every person, positive or negative, has been in my life for my benefit...and I am grateful.

If I may: you will never be over your Dom until you cut ties with him. If you ended it for his benefit, I'm guessing it'd also be to his benefit if you followed through and actually said goodbye.

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 12/14/2007 10:12:37 PM >

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(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/15/2007 5:37:23 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		It sort of sounds like you are hoping the path he is traveling on leads back to you and than you are still living in your mistake, how many years will you waste waiting?????

Move on girl and live life.... life is way too short otherwise you are going to come to regret for having wasted your time waiting around and your happy mistake may not seem quite as happy anymore, if the two of you are meant to re-connect it will happen whether or not you sit back and pine for him or start having fun


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Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/15/2007 6:08:40 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I have to agree with those who have suggested that you really need to move on. I mean why is he throwing you these bones when he knows you want him back? What kind of game is he playing with your emotions? It's not right. Favorite mistake? OK, maybe he's your favorite, but he's still a mistake. Playing little games with your head and making it sound cute is your way of justifying what you are doing to yourself. Love yourself more and find someone else who will too.

As for me, I guess mine had to be my ex. I stayed with him FAR longer than I should have, but there's just a level of comfort with him that we had from the first time we ever talked. It's too bad he just couldn't grow past some bad habits and unhealthy perceptions. There will always be a place in my heart for him, but I had to move on.

(in reply to Maya2001)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/15/2007 6:41:15 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		No, I know what we had isn't going to repeat.  Yesterday sort of did free me up though.  I discovered I do still have it in me and that I am not numb.  And I was able to see him as a person who will make the same mistake over and over.  He has this savior complex, I think, and I don't need saving any more.
I can see what he has now is only going to hurt someone. 
I won't let it be me.
I am glad for what happened in our past, and even yesterday because it was like something in me turned back on.  Not for him, but for me.
I will move on to someone else eventually.  And for the first time I think it is possible.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

It sort of sounds like you are hoping the path he is traveling on leads back to you and than you are still living in your mistake, how many years will you waste waiting?????




_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Maya2001)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/15/2007 6:44:41 AM   
ghitaPVH


Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		I wouldnt call him a mistake (although I did at the time) my favorite accident just turned 8.

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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/15/2007 6:51:24 AM   
SingleRarity


Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I have to agree that this is a pretty maso exercise.  I do like the song though.


Yeah, I was just thinking how much I like that song too! :)

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/15/2007 7:03:36 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Wow. Whenever I hear that song, I think of one person, and one person only, MY ex-boyfriend, who I mention all the time.

Yep, he is the worst and best thing ever to happen to me also. The best in that I experienced such intensity, mad passion, incredible sex, and went further in my exploration of D/s than ever before but the worst in that after 10 years together, all the "being madly in love" could not overcome the lack of compatibility in every other area of life, the betrayals, the lies, the drama, the hurt, the pain.

I know that I am over him intellectually, but not emotionally. You can completely understand why you should not be with someone with your brain, but your heart and other parts of your body sometimes yearn for things that your brain tells you are bad for you.

It does not stop me from moving on with my life, but I will not lie, it does create tremendous problems. You cannot erase memories, especially when you were with someone for such a long time.

So, do I wish I never met him? Yes.

Is he my favorite mistake? I guess so, because I would have missed out on feeling such high highs, even though I experienced such low lows.

(in reply to SingleRarity)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/15/2007 7:48:34 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

So.. what is your favorite mistake? 


That's easy, it was my 6 month affair with my first r/l dom.  Mistake because i hurt Hubby and lied to Him.  But it resulted in me talking to Hubby about my submissive desires and Him forgiving me and becoming my Dom.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: ...my favorite mistake - 12/15/2007 9:47:43 AM   
ThinkingKitten


Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

my past relationships are not mistakes...they are learning experiences.......i learn from my past.....


My sentiments exactly.

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Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

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