Has this ever worked?

Has this ever worked? (Full Version)

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SweetDommes -> Has this ever worked? (12/15/2007 4:46:21 AM)
I just had a guy try to send me to bed ... granted, I had just told him that it's getting close to my bedtime, but I had also just told him to ask questions of me and I'd answer them. He accused me of not wanting dialogue ... excuse the hell out of me, but if I'm messaging him back, telling him that I will be around to reply to messages inbetween working on things in preparation for Christmas, and telling him to ask me questions to answer - how exactly is that me not wanting dialogue? And since when is a Domme supposed to take orders from a potential submissive??? edited to add Let's also not forget the fact that I'm on heavy painkillers due to some oral surgery that I had this week ... (meds make Karen forgetful ... lol) [end rant mode] Sorry about that, just had to get it out of my system ... blarg

BlackKnight -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/15/2007 4:58:00 AM)
Waah, you want to do something else, prepare for christmas, over me, ha! Now go to bed! talk about topping from the bottom....

SweetDommes -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/15/2007 5:15:26 AM)
Ok, I'm definitely finding the humor in this. The reason he "suggested" that I go to bed is because I said I was a bit tired because it's close to my bedtime, and tired people can't pay attention to detail well enough to hold a conversation apparently ... of course, in his previous message to me, he typed in all capital letters (a rather nasty sentence, if I had taken it personally) because of a "keyboard error" ... now, seriously, knowing that typing in all capital letters is considered shouting in the online medium, why would you claim it was an accident (even though you left it) when you are telling someone that she's supposedly incapable of paying attention to detail??? [sm=biggrin.gif]

undergroundsea -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/15/2007 5:35:52 AM)
It seems his ego was offended, which I don't think is unimaginable. I expect most dommes would not entertain a conversation where a sub was giving them partial attention because it would feel disrespectful, and I expect he felt similarly. So I allow some room for why he felt offended. Still, I think there is a way to look at things without taking offense to ego--it's reality. People are busy. Dommes are inundated with messages. In the mix of everything at that moment, it was either a conversation that was juggled amongst other activities or no conversation. Looking at it this way, he could appreciate that you worked him in amongst other things you were doing at the time. A keyboard error! He should be a political spokesperson ;-) If there was a keyboard error, it was coupled by an eyesight error that missed the keyboard error. I think a judgment error is a more accurate description. While I allow some room for the origin of how he felt, I think the way he responded was inappropriate and destructive. Cheers, Sea

TNstepsout -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/15/2007 5:37:07 AM)
OK, I can understand his wanting more of your undivided attention during the "getting to know you" phase. It's kind of hard to do that when one person is tired, on pain meds and simultaneously finishing up Christmas preparations. Maybe he should have been a bit more polite about how he pointed that out.

SweetDommes -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/15/2007 5:38:42 AM)
I do feel the need to point out - he 'suggested' that I go to bed before I told him I would be doing things around the house. I told him that I would be staying up and could reply to messages inbetween preparing for Christmas and such. He then decided to 'shout' at me and accuse me of being frivolas (sp?) ... and since when is that a bad thing? I'm also of the opinion that as long as the boy tells me that he's not giving me his undivided attention, that's ok. Life happens - and there are things that are important that need to be done. I multitask on a regular basis because I have a short attention span, plus a lot of things that I need/want to do. If the conversation gets good enough, I postpone either the other tasks or the conversation so that I can give more attention to the boy - but until then, I have a life that doesn't revolve around my computer.

thetammyjo -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/15/2007 10:44:20 AM)
Maybe right now with the busy season and the let down you've had from a partner it isn't the best time at all for you to be talking to a potential? Not telling you what to do but asking a question. I, for one, don't do chat things or instant message things because with my busy life I can't be there to answer immediately -- I do see chat or other instant messaging things as pretty the same as being on the phone with someone. If someone wants to talk to talk to me, they can deal with email when we each have the time to reply.

MiladyElaine -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/15/2007 11:09:34 AM)
Well I DO email but I don't chat. I am one for doing other things while I talk. If there's one thing I can't stand it's waiting for an answer! You imagine them taking a drink of whatever, checking on something else while they wait for the next question, going to the restroom, getting something to eat, etc. Then all of a sudden you see the little message "so'n so is writing a message." I can't stand it - My time is too valuable.

HottLicks -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/15/2007 3:48:25 PM)
Communication stuck in ego/anger issues! Sounds rather anal to me. I'd offer to plug him but he sounds plugged already .

domahpet -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/15/2007 8:21:31 PM)
would You to give him the address of the dom that was so rude to me today? him and your boy can be rude to each other LOL

beeble -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/16/2007 2:41:17 AM)
quote: undergroundsea wrote: It seems his ego was offended, which I don't think is unimaginable. I expect most dommes would not entertain a conversation where a sub was giving them partial attention because it would feel disrespectful, and I expect he felt similarly. I'm perfectly happy to have IM conversations while the other person is doing other things and, often, I'm doing other things, too. In many cases, real life just has to take priority and there's nothing wrong with that. If somebody feels they're not getting enough attention in an IM conversation, the correct response is something like, ``Can we talk again some time when you're less busy?'' not than something like ``Stop being so busy.''

undergroundsea -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/16/2007 8:51:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetDommes I'm also of the opinion that as long as the boy tells me that he's not giving me his undivided attention, that's ok. Life happens - and there are things that are important that need to be done. I think that is a realistic approach. I think his behavior was inappropriate and it is not my intent to justify it but to try to understand what might have happened :) Cheers, Sea

SweetDommes -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/17/2007 9:22:22 AM)
We do try to be realistic lol Sometimes it works better than others.

MisPandora -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/18/2007 12:01:47 AM)
If it's a submissive who is in service to me, who is being respectful and protective of me.....perhaps. But I'll be damned if some stranger tells me to do anything as though it were an order!

RedMagic1 -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/19/2007 11:10:02 AM)
ONLY TWUE DOMINATES HAVE KEYBOARD ERRORS

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/19/2007 11:15:10 AM)
I do find t funny. Usually when Fox says something like that, no meaning to be demanding but it comes across that way, I tell him "Yes sir, right away sir" and he gets the point. Someone in the getting to know you phase should realize he is not yet getting all your attention. Especially if you were polite enough to say that you hd a few things to do. If he had issues with that he could easily have excused himself from the conversation and talked to you again when you were more able to devote time to him. Foot stomping and name calling dont exactly make for a good first impression. DV

pixelslave -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/19/2007 3:48:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetDommes I do feel the need to point out - he 'suggested' that I go to bed before I told him I would be doing things around the house. I told him that I would be staying up and could reply to messages inbetween preparing for Christmas and such. He then decided to 'shout' at me and accuse me of being frivolas (sp?) ... and since when is that a bad thing? I'm also of the opinion that as long as the boy tells me that he's not giving me his undivided attention, that's ok. Life happens - and there are things that are important that need to be done. I multitask on a regular basis because I have a short attention span, plus a lot of things that I need/want to do. If the conversation gets good enough, I postpone either the other tasks or the conversation so that I can give more attention to the boy - but until then, I have a life that doesn't revolve around my computer. I'd think most caring subs would naturally suggest you go to bed if it were close to your normal bed time and they knew you were in pain from having oral surgery. I know I would. Shouting is of course another matter. [>:] I've always personally been offended when others have multitasked by carrying on multiple IM sessions or doing a lot of other things while we're trying to have an IM conversation; particularly when they've not stated as much up front. But that's just me. As you did, he then had the option of asking when might be a better time to talk where he might have more of your focused attention. Some of us just don't multitask as well as others. [;)] - pixel Collared to Majik

SweetDommes -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/19/2007 5:22:27 PM)
It wasn't an IM conversation - just e-mailing through the personals side of CM ... which I find to be slow and tedious at best anyway. I refuse to use the chat function on CM because I don't like it, and with all the warnings about scammers wanting to move off the site to IM/personal e-mail right away, I've stopped doing that. I can't remember the exact phrasing of him trying to send me to bed, but a- he had only been talking to me for about 5 minutes, so he has no place trying to get me to do anything and b- the way he put it just didn't set well with me, something about me going to bedville in slumberland or something stupid like that.

pixelslave -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/19/2007 7:23:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetDommes b- the way he put it just didn't set well with me, something about me going to bedville in slumberland or something stupid like that. ROTFL! He wasn't into diaper play was he? [;)] - pixel Collared to Majik

SweetDommes -> RE: Has this ever worked? (12/20/2007 7:00:56 AM)
I don't know, but if he were, it would be a deal breaker anyway LOL

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