RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (Full Version)

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mimkyodar -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/15/2007 7:26:52 PM)

Oh, I hate that.
It's like an awkward silence.
So usually, i end end up, just talking about random stuff until i can think of something.

Say, have any of you used the word 'pantsworthy' recently?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/15/2007 7:32:50 PM)

I can honestly say that I have never used the word 'pantsworthy' ever.  Spongeworthy, that I've used....  but not recently!
'



SubmissiveAK -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/15/2007 7:37:20 PM)

Personally I think it is hard to respond to the "tell me about yourself" question. I dont want to throw a list of kinks at someone, or overwhelm her with information, and I certainly dont want to appear as if I'm another bozo sub looking for this kink, that kink instead of true submission. I could also ramble on and that will not be appealing to her. Its a question of how to keep it short and sweet, yet still speak to what she wishes to know. Us subs are very self-conscious you know!

As a submissive, a little guidance makes things much easier. Questions like "what is most important to you in a relationship" (and subs, please dont put down sex or a certain kind of play), "what are some of the things you enjoy", "what does being submissive mean to you" etc... It can still be open-ended, but if its not everything under the sun then its easier. And hey, if you have something you really want to know (is XYZ a hard limit for you/do you have dandruff/Fuzzy slippers or kinky boots) all you need do is ask. ^_^

Playfully yours,

~submissiveAK~



mimkyodar -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/15/2007 8:16:17 PM)

Well, for the curious masses, i'll tell you.
Pantsworthy means something of such good quality that it causes you to need new pants.
Think about it.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/16/2007 12:58:43 AM)

I loose interest quickly if I feel like I'm interrogating someone (unless I'm in an interrogation scene!). When someone doesn't volunteer information, I tend to assume they're just not that interested in me. I also am attracted to people who can at least hold a conversation with ONE person. They don't have to be the life of the party, but they've got to at least be able to talk to ME. I had a sub who has Ausperger's. He was a delight to talk to (and we're still very good friends). He was shy in social settings and awkward, but he never had any trouble talking directly to one or two people at a time. He talked to me a lot and that was very nice. He still does!

Master Fire



mimkyodar -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/16/2007 1:12:17 AM)

I've been accused of Asperger's.

I can list all the Bond movies in chronological order (including the unofficial ones) from memory.
I can't quite do all the bowie albums, because theres a lot of ifs and buts.
Floydie im good with tho.



deeddlit -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/16/2007 9:08:17 AM)

"I loose interest quickly if I feel like I'm interrogating someone (unless I'm in an interrogation scene!)."

Thanks for this analogy MFM!!  This discribes exactly how I feel when I feel like I have to pull conversation from others.



vampchick88 -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/16/2007 1:54:16 PM)

  It all depends on the particular person. I've met subs who wouldn't shut up even if I launched a rocket up their ass. I've also met those who won't talk but just stare like a frightened rabbit, then when they did talk it was so low I couldn't make out what they were saying. 
My personal fav is a guy in the middle, one who talks. Though must be able to listen to what I have to say, and have an open convo with. It can be about a bad day I had or a good fart joke. Thats how myself and my subby are and its the best relationship I've ever been in.



BondageSlaveMN -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/16/2007 2:48:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mimkyodar

I've been accused of Asperger's.

I can list all the Bond movies in chronological order (including the unofficial ones) from memory.
I can't quite do all the bowie albums, because theres a lot of ifs and buts.
Floydie im good with tho.


That's not Asperger's at all, that's just an uncanny memory. Although, if these things you remember are of particular interest to you (as in, you love Bond movies), then it's nothing special at all (I could riddle off the chemical structure of several hundred compounds without batting an eye). Asperger's syndrome is a "high functioning" form of autism characterized by difficulty in social situations, inability to establish and maintain eye contact, unusual verbosity (around familiar people), inability to understand abstract contructs, inability to understand idiocincracies, ineffective us of metaphor and is almost always accompanied by moderate to severe OCD characteristic. There are dozens more symptoms, but these are the common ones I've seen in Asperger's patients.

As to the OP. Conversation is generally a bilateral/multilateral exchange. While some people enjoy talking about themselves or hearing about others, most successful conversations involve give and take from all parties involved. It is no one's job to provide entertainment to another, at least not in the context of a non-D/s relationship.

A D/s relationship imparts a potentially different dynamic unto conversation. If it is desired by the dominant, conversation may simply be for the pleasure and benefit of the Dom. As far as the first meeting between the D and s, I'm of the opinion that the exchange needs to be equal on both sides. Again, this depends on the type of D/s you are, but I am of the variety that requires some intellectual stimulation from a conversation. Frankly, I'm not interested in an ignorant or unintelligent Dom. I'm not saying he/she needs to be my equal or superior, but an intelligence greater than the average is much appreciated. And yes, I assume I am of greater than average intelligence.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/16/2007 9:05:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mimkyodar

I've been accused of Asperger's.


Funny, he wore a Fedora, too. In fact, I bought him a nice one for Christmas one year.

But, being able to list movies and albums that you like doesn't indicate the syndrome..nor, sadly, the intelligence that usually comes along with these people (I'm not implying your not intelligent)...nor does it indicate any social discomfort. It means you can list stuff you like. I can name all three animators of Tom and Jerry, for instance. Doesn't mean I have any of the above things.

Master Fire



MistressDolly -> RE: Talkative vs. Quiet (12/16/2007 10:15:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MiladyElaine

I would love to have a conversation with a slave that offers information about himself when asked without Me having to ask specific questions.   I know all slaves aren't like this.
So many will say "Ask away, I'll tell you anything!"  Sometimes the right questions don't get asked.   Like "Are you a convicted axe murderer?!"  If they WERE they wouldn't volunteer the information and it is up to Us to find out.    But I am certain You know the type I mean?
Which do You prefer?  I don't want one that goes on and on about himself, at least not untill he's invited but I don't want to "pull teeth" to get answers either.



Implementing both: free reign discourse, coupled with my own set of inquires.

MistressDolly
(original)



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