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Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 9:52:53 AM   
Saint


Posts: 279
Status: offline 		Interesting experience today. I received an email from a Mistress for no other apparent reason than to call me a loser because I have not been successful in my search. I did not contact her or even know of her until this afternoon. Essentially the email was about 2 lines long simply stating that myself and all other males my age regardless of being Dominant or submissive were losers and not worth any womens time if they hadn't found what they were seeking by now. I of course did the appropriate thing and put her on my ignore list.

But now my questions are these: Do women regard a man my age (30) who hasn't found a successful mate/partner yet losers? Are we perceived as being unsuccessful and because of this associated with being losers in the game of life? And if we are losers, does this mean that we should accept that mantle for what its worth and give up our search?

I generally would like to believe that wasn't true but sometimes doubt does creep in. I am human after all. I know that I have worth and value, I work very hard to be successful, to stay in shape and to be happy in my everyday life. And yet, out of the blue when something like this does occur it does sometimes shake a persons foundation of belief.

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to respond.

_____________________________

"Anonymity is synonymous with longevity."
Faethor Ferenczy

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight"
Nightwish - Wish I had an Angel Tonight
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 10:11:44 AM   
deeddlit


Posts: 484
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		"Do women regard a man my age (30) who hasn't found a successful mate/partner yet losers?"

Only if she is a *&%^!!

I am sorry to hear that anyone would do this to another person...male or female on either side.  You sound like a very fine catch to me and I am sure those kinds of emails will be very small in comparrison to genuine interest.

I for one am a big fan of honesty (with yourself as well as others) and taking your time so you get exactly what you want.  At the end of the day you want to be happy just like anyone else and I see nothing wrong with your approach in making that happen.

I consider patience to be a very nice quality in anyone!

Better luck to you!!
Deeddlit


_____________________________

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
Albert Einstein

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 10:11:55 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		Jeez, Saint, she's just an asshole who's yanking your chain.  When a Domme receives a mail from some asshole Dom who thinks she should be on her knees, she just sighs and deletes it.  You should do likewise.

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 10:15:26 AM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		First off she’s very rude and out of line.

Secondly no I don’t think you’re a loser at all. I’m in a similar boat a few years younger (25) and well I’m guessing you’ve gone on dates and have friends right? Also considering the divorce rate is about 50% there is a high percentage of “losers” then. I think you should keep looking, I personally have seen you’re profile before and thought nice sounding guy a little to far away for me through.

I do believe that it’s doubts that a lot of people have (I’m very tempted to say all) and one of the reasons I take breaks from looking every once in awhile. Again, this person is just a jerk, I just wonder about her relationships if she has a need to basically insult someone she doesn’t know.  

So don’t give up because I’m not. And I hope that made some sense I’m a little out of it at the moment.

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 10:17:34 AM   
MsAlaria


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: Richmond, VA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint
Do women regard a man my age (30) who hasn't found a successful mate/partner yet losers? Are we perceived as being unsuccessful and because of this associated with being losers in the game of life? And if we are losers, does this mean that we should accept that mantle for what its worth and give up our search?


Finding someone in this lifestyle is akin to finding a mate in the vanilla world.  It takes time and a lot of patience.  You have to find common interests, wants and needs.  I would never presume to call one a loser because they have not found their match.  I know of some who have waited for years while weeding out the fakes, players, wannabes and jerks (both male and female).  I know many who have given up all hope, just to finally find the One they were searching for.  So, no, in My opinion, you are NOT a loser just because someone feels the need to put you down because of their own pathetic view of things.  I would never suggest you give up hope in finding what you seek. 

Just my two cents :)

Alaria

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 10:18:28 AM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		It sounds like you got an email from a mean person. They exist on every side of the fence - Male, Female, Dominant, Submissive, Vanilla, Kinky - the list goes on. The two things that bind them together are a.) they are mean, and b.) they suck.

And the very best thing you can do is c.) ignore them. It's why Baby Jeebus invented the "block" feature, so use it!

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 10:21:39 AM   
indygirl2


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deeddlit

Only if she is a *&%^!!

Agreed!  If it's any consolation, we all get assinine unsolicited emails.

(in reply to deeddlit)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 10:22:15 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint

But now my questions are these: Do women regard a man my age (30) who hasn't found a successful mate/partner yet losers?


Not I. 
(well, maybe the Doms )

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 11:14:37 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Out of all the profiles of sub men, she sent you that email?

I wonder if she liked your profile and is a clueless person who thinks the way to capture a sub's attention is to verbally attack him ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 12/16/2007 11:16:52 AM >

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 11:26:37 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint

Interesting experience today. I received an email from a Mistress for no other apparent reason than to call me a loser because I have not been successful in my search. I did not contact her or even know of her until this afternoon. Essentially the email was about 2 lines long simply stating that myself and all other males my age regardless of being Dominant or submissive were losers and not worth any womens time if they hadn't found what they were seeking by now. I of course did the appropriate thing and put her on my ignore list.




Boy, that's a classy "domme", huh?  Makes me wish that all dommes were so observant and opinionated. 

Dude, I was in the same boat as you, but I was blessed enough to find a dominant young woman who fits me like a hand to a glove.  The right domme is out there for you if you are willing to put forth the effort to find her.  Who gives a flying fuck as to what some pathetic, anonymous bitch thinks.  She has no life of her own if she's willing to write to someone to criticize or ridicule them because they haven't found someone yet.  Keep your head up and be resilient and persistent.  Your queen is out there...just go find her!  Keep hope alive!

Good luck!

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 11:30:00 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		Well your profile doesn't read like a loser to me.... more like a discerning man looking for the right Domme, not any one will do.

I am older and still looking and I don't feel like a loser.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 11:45:53 AM   
indygirl2


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

Out of all the profiles of sub men, she sent you that email?

I wonder if she liked your profile and is a clueless person who thinks the way to capture a sub's attention is to verbally attack him ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

I thought that at first too, but then decided I was crazy, as surely no one would be so abyssmally stupid.  Glad to see we're on the same (ridiculous) page.  :)

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 11:55:46 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		You have a great profile and sound like a wonderful person (though a bit too young for me).  I always appreciate it when a sub takes the time to list his interests, so I can learn about him both as a person and as a potential sub.
 
I don't think you are a loser at all.  It takes time and effort to find a successful match, as it does to achieve anything worthwhile in life. 
 
Yes, she was quite rude and you were wise to put her on ignore.  I do the same when I receive idiotic messages.  Some people really need to get a hobby.
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 11:58:01 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: indygirl2
I thought that at first too, but then decided I was crazy, as surely no one would be so abyssmally stupid.  Glad to see we're on the same (ridiculous) page.  :)


There exist some profiles of dommes who try to attract the attention of sub men by addressing them as worms and losers, and otherwise verbally berating them. And the OP has done a good job with his profile so as to invite interest. So I think that same page is not so ridiculous ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to indygirl2)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 12:05:31 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Wow, can I write an email to the guy who has the most godawful misspelled crappy profile EVAR, and ask him to spellcheck?  And then I block him, right? 

Dude, the delete key is your friend.  Though I do sometimes offer a "thanks for sharing your opinion" reply.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/16/2007 12:10:48 PM   
abytchgoddess4u


Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		No, you are not a loser. 30 is a perfect age to be seeking a life partner, whether kinky or vanilla. You are old enough to know what you want from your life, for your life and young enough to look good in leather pants and a harness...;)

Screw her and anyone else that acts like an asshole.


_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/17/2007 2:42:54 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		How weird.  Fancy a female having nothing better to do than insult strangers....which makes me suspect she is not a stranger.

Rejected any Dommes lately?  Any kind of crazy Dommes? 

No, there is nothing wrong with being between relationships, sometimes for quite a while.  Only completely desperate co-dependents jump relationship to relationship with no breaks.

Mind you, I met a cuckolding fan who was 43 and had never dated a woman longer than 6 weeks.  Because he was so "honest" they always left him quick smart.  Hmmmmmm.....dysfunctional is a nicer word than "loser"......


_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/17/2007 3:13:04 AM   
exquisitefeline1


Posts: 69
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline 		When was it ever required to have a LIFE partner anyway, what if you never did, what if you never wanted to too?
When is the right time for your life partner to come in your life?
Who's set of values is important?
A loser is someone who can not live their truth.
Don't accept defeat!
Your way to young for that.

So i am guessing her children graduated from law school at 22, made their first million by 25, was married by 26, had three kids by 29, a white picket fence, 2 Mercedes, 3 designer dogs to walk in the park, go to Disneyland every year, have 3 holiday houses, visit her every Sunday after Mass.... have the same stoopid conversation every week and pretend they are not bored of it, and lived happily ever after...

Opps the clock just struck thirty and your coach turned into a pumpkin, the fairy god mother will never be back, and you are all out of aces, so off with your head!
What the hell is she doing on a fetish site, with such a closed point of view?

I read it on the net it must be true.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/17/2007 3:47:28 AM   
Saint


Posts: 279
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

How weird.  Fancy a female having nothing better to do than insult strangers....which makes me suspect she is not a stranger.

Rejected any Dommes lately?  Any kind of crazy Dommes? 

No, there is nothing wrong with being between relationships, sometimes for quite a while.  Only completely desperate co-dependents jump relationship to relationship with no breaks.

Mind you, I met a cuckolding fan who was 43 and had never dated a woman longer than 6 weeks.  Because he was so "honest" they always left him quick smart.  Hmmmmmm.....dysfunctional is a nicer word than "loser"......



That is what is so absurd about the whole ordeal, MsCfromMelbourne. I had never met her, haven't rejected any Dommes in quite a while and literally am at a loss as to why this email was sent my way. She isn't even from my state or even most likely to be associated with anyone I would know from around here.

_____________________________

"Anonymity is synonymous with longevity."
Faethor Ferenczy

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight"
Nightwish - Wish I had an Angel Tonight

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Seeking Insight - 12/17/2007 3:50:13 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: indygirl2

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

Out of all the profiles of sub men, she sent you that email?

I wonder if she liked your profile and is a clueless person who thinks the way to capture a sub's attention is to verbally attack him ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

I thought that at first too, but then decided I was crazy, as surely no one would be so abyssmally stupid.  Glad to see we're on the same (ridiculous) page.  :)



well, "Doms" do that stupid stuff, so why not Dommes?

from sunshine miss, 42 year old .... old maid....

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to indygirl2)
Profile   Post #: 20
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