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Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:09:53 PM

summerblossom

Posts: 145
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

Hello there I was wondering if I am considered Abnormal because of this reason. I was reading through some of the other forums and how many of the slaves/submissives act.

I am a switch but enjoy being submissive at times but I am starting to think that maybe I would not make a good submissive because of these reasons. In my daily life I guess you could say I am a bit selfish. I love to be spoiled, love to be taken out, cuddled and adored. I also love to be the center of attention and being the leader of my group. Sexually I am open minded and have alot of fetishes and desires but prefer to receive than to give. In fact alot of things I read other submissives love doing, I do not love doing those things. Alot of those things are things that Masters require of their slaves in sexual services. Does this automatically make me weird or abnormal becuase I do not share alot of the same views or traits that a natural submissive would share? For example I do not agree that all women are naturally submissive and that all men are naturally dominant whether they care to admit it or not. This I was reading in some of the Gorean forums and do not agree with it at all.

Emotionally I love to give and share more than most people I have met....and I believe that if I was submitting to someone I would be great unless I was offended in some way (big way only) and that my dominant side would come out (I'm a switch) and there would be no turning back if that happened. So I'm wondering what everyone else thought. Thanks.

Post #: 1

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:14:39 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I am sure there are many ways you normal and many ways you are abnormal.

What matters is that you find the dynamic that works for you. Trust me, whatever you can imagine, people are doing and enjoying.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 2

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:15:26 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

Very weird, very abnormal.

Just teasing. But no, doesn't sound like you'd make a good submissive, at all.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 3

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:28:33 PM

goodgirl08

Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I am sure there are many ways you normal and many ways you are abnormal.

What matters is that you find the dynamic that works for you. Trust me, whatever you can imagine, people are doing and enjoying.

Very true, you don't need to confine yourself.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:29:34 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

So you need to be in a relationship with someone you know very well, with whom you share the same moral values, and who will not break your limits. Sounds submissive to me.

Submission does not mean you have to submit to people you don't respect, don't like, and find offensive as hell. It does mean you choose who you find worthwhile to submit to.

Just as dominant doesn't mean you go around bossing the whole world and acting like an arrogant asshat.

Some submissives love to serve, I'm glad it works for them, doing laundry for him doesn't turn me on. Some submissives love being called bitch and whore, I find humiliation play upsetting. Some submissives are masochists, some aren't but enjoy taking the pain for their dominants, doesn't do anything for me.

But I'm still submissive. I'm submissive to one who happens not to be an asshat, not to be a sadist, who is capable of getting himself a glass of water and doing his own laundry. We have matching kinks and matching moral values. He inspires submission in me and I inspire dominance in him. We are compatible. And compatible is the bottom line here.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 5

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:32:55 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

Do normal people come on this site?

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to goodgirl08)

Post #: 6

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:35:01 PM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline

All depends on your own personal idea of what normal is!

PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 7

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:35:42 PM

BondageSlaveMN

Posts: 80
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

You can still enjoy activities that are usually associated with submission as a Dom. Perhaps you are a masochist. You can still have your sub inflict pain on you despite the fact that you are the Dom. I don't know which thread(s) that mentioned this, but there are Doms who like to be spanked, bitten, etc. Pretty much an activity can be done from whichever role you want it to be done. Some kinks may require a bit of creativity. Bondage, for example, maybe be difficult to accomplish and still maintain your dominance, but I'm sure there is still a way it can be done.

I wish people would stop using words like normal and abnormal. Normal is only a setting on your washing machine. There is no such thing as a normal person, just people that society finds more or less acceptable. Society judges you based on how closely you match with this notion of what's normal. I'd imgine the great majority of us on this site would be seen as abnormal in a broader social context.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 8

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:37:14 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

All depends on your own personal idea of what normal is!

PM

Yeah, it's kind of like "submissive", everybody has their own definitions..... right or wrong......

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to PanthersMom)

Post #: 9

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:47:13 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Who you are is not defined by what you do. You role dynamic isn't either. Be you...and look for someone who matches THAT.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 10

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:49:30 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Be you...and look for someone who matches THAT.

Master Fire

Exactly.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 11

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:51:40 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

I am normal......not average .....but normal..:).......so you must be normal too.....unless that offends you.:)

Jeff

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 12/16/2007 6:52:33 PM >

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 12

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:55:33 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Very weird, very abnormal.

Just teasing. But no, doesn't sound like you'd make a good submissive, at all.

And that is perfectly okay.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 13

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 6:57:00 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Very weird, very abnormal.

Just teasing. But no, doesn't sound like you'd make a good submissive, at all.

And that is perfectly okay.

It most certainly is!

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 14

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 7:04:28 PM

sexyone4you

Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

Luckily, there is no "right" or "wrong" way to submit or Dominate. Not everyone enjoys the same things in play, domestic service, etc. How is it abnormal to have different tastes?

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 15

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 7:10:19 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

Just be yourself and enjoy what you want. You don't have to fit into anyones definition, but the one that you and someone you are involved with are comfortable with. Relax, accept, enjoy for life is fleeting.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 16

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 7:22:59 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

why would you want to conform to the mass ideal of what is "normal" . Abby-normal is much funner !

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 17

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 7:25:11 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied
why would you want to conform to the mass ideal of what is "normal" . Abby-normal is much funner !

It's just as bad to decide NOT to do something because it has "mass appeal" as it is to decide TO do something because it has "mass appeal."

Non comformity can be just as much a sign of following the herd as comformity is.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 18

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 7:27:47 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied
why would you want to conform to the mass ideal of what is "normal" . Abby-normal is much funner !

It's just as bad to decide NOT to do something because it has "mass appeal" as it is to decide TO do something because it has "mass appeal."

Non comformity can be just as much a sign of following the herd as comformity is.

You mean like those goth people?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: Am I Abnormal?? - 12/16/2007 8:22:02 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I share much in common with you. I love attention and affection, I love it when the one I love does things for me. I love to be taken places and share good times... I do not see this as selfish, I give as good as I get! I also do not expect anything, except the best from myself. Being submissive does not mean that we should not enjoy others that find us worthwhile, nor is it selfish in my opinion. I am treated very well by my Daddy... and he spoils me when he feels like doing so....

I am also put in the position of leadership often, and I tend to take the lead if no one else will step up to the task at hand, but I would rather follow my Daddy than lead...

I think that people get D/s confused with how we relate to the world in general.. one does not have much to do with the other in my opinion

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 20

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