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Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:35:47 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		So, I feel that I might not be very attractive as a domme. I don't know this for a fact, but I feel like there are all sorts of things counting against me. I am 5 ft tall, I weigh only 100 lbs, I have very little money, no car and roommates. I am young and relatively inexperienced.

But I somehow felt that many of these things made me attractive as a sub to a man.

In some ways I dont even feel comfortable dominating people sometimes.

If I want a girl sub, is it bad to be a very small and young woman myself?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:40:58 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		There is an amazing domme on these boards who is your size.  Physical size has nothing to do with domination.  If that were the case, how could any of us dominate men, or even women, who were physically stronger?  This isn't a rodeo!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to kitttty)
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RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:41:51 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		everyone has to start somewhere. everyone has to be inexperienced at sometime. some people will not be willing to submit to an inexperienced Dom/me. As far as the money situation, some people feel like they have to have money, some people love the person.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to kitttty)
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RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:43:03 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's bad if you're trying to get involved with someone who wants a stereotype and not an individual.

Now, the money and car thing would legitimately put me off because it shows lack of independence and security for the stage of life that I am at and would expect in a partner.  Ask yourself if you're really at the stage in your life to get into a serious relationship or if other things should be taking priority.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:44:29 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It's not bad to want what you want. However, let me suggest that what's making you unappealing is your lack of self-acceptance. This can lead to an attitude of a "damsel in distress" which is often appealing to the Rescuer and Knight achetypes. These are very prevalent in men. Basing a relationship on the victim/rescuer dynamic is unhealthy.Work on your selfand you'll find that you'll be more accepted for who you are, not matter what you choose that to be.

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 12/16/2007 6:45:48 PM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to kitttty)
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RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:48:16 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

So, I feel that I might not be very attractive as a domme. I don't know this for a fact, but I feel like there are all sorts of things counting against me. I am 5 ft tall, I weigh only 100 lbs, I have very little money, no car and roommates. I am young and relatively inexperienced.

But I somehow felt that many of these things made me attractive as a sub to a man.

In some ways I dont even feel comfortable dominating people sometimes.

If I want a girl sub, is it bad to be a very small and young woman myself?


If you're genuinely dominant, and enjoy dominating, then being small, young, and poor shouldn't get in your way, unless you let it.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:49:25 PM   
summerblossom


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline 		i would LOVE to be 100 pounds! appreciate what you have, not what you don't have

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:51:22 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		I theoretically prefer dominant partners who are successful because for me success is sexy. Granted, I live in a city and it is common for people not to have cars here and rare for people not to have roommates. But part of the reason I live in the city is because I could not move out to the suburbs as I would need a car and I cannot actually afford one. And I often speak with subs from out of town and they are able to have their own living spaces and vehicles. Thus, I feel like the disadvantaged one.

I plan to go to school next year, so I won't be acquiring a car or more money anytime soon. Bummer.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:55:58 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:


If you're genuinely dominant, and enjoy dominating, then being small, young, and poor shouldn't get in your way, unless you let it.


I never felt it hindered my ability to dominate men since they can almost always expect to have greater physical strength. Many submissive men also value youth and the media ideal of female appearance, just as vanilla men do.

But I see that many women prefer older Dommes, taller Dommes- basically Dommes that fulfill what women typically look for in dominant men. I was sad to observe this.

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:57:43 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		Pff. If you were actually a young, Dominant, 100-lb woman and could prove it, you wouldn't have to worry about being attractive to anybody. You would be amongst the elite, the fractions of a percent, the fantasies. 

S'lotta doubt for someone who's turning away unwanted suitors



(in reply to summerblossom)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:58:18 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

i would LOVE to be 100 pounds! appreciate what you have, not what you don't hav


Thanks. It is the case that some women take interest in me because they like smallness. Ot because they like the stereotyped male ideal of physical beauty in women. So, that is good for me.

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 6:58:37 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:


If you're genuinely dominant, and enjoy dominating, then being small, young, and poor shouldn't get in your way, unless you let it.


I never felt it hindered my ability to dominate men since they can almost always expect to have greater physical strength. Many submissive men also value youth and the media ideal of female appearance, just as vanilla men do.

But I see that many women prefer older Dommes, taller Dommes- basically Dommes that fulfill what women typically look for in dominant men. I was sad to observe this.



Maybe you could find an older woman, with a kink of being in thrall to a younger woman? Might solve your money issues, at the same time

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 7:09:27 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		I am talking to a wonderful lady who is late 30s and some kind of ultra loaded european aristocrat with multiple estates. It's fucking hot. I also talk to a seriously hot lesbian stripper. It's sort of odd being a character of fantasies in real life.

Not to sound silly, but I am a very good looking girl with not much else going for me. I don't want to be and Im trying to improve but in the meantime, I want a sub girl who will respect me.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 7:16:01 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

I am talking to a wonderful lady who is late 30s and some kind of ultra loaded european aristocrat with multiple estates. It's fucking hot. I also talk to a seriously hot lesbian stripper. It's sort of odd being a character of fantasies in real life.

Not to sound silly, but I am a very good looking girl with not much else going for me. I don't want to be and Im trying to improve but in the meantime, I want a sub girl who will respect me.


Well, just be careful; lots of "ultra loaded European aristorats" are hairy men working at Sonic, if you know what I mean. Or worse, so, use caution. (Assuming the "talking" is online)

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 7:18:34 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		Nope. Phone talking. Speaks English with an accent, and french and italian without one. European lady. Might be a tranny for all I know, but that's fine with me.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 7:20:48 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		But I did not tell the european lady about my height. The lesbian stripper knows and she dislikes it. Major road block.

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 7:26:38 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		This stuff takes time, so, don't get discouraged.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 7:27:09 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		Okay, we're gonna need to get a lot more explicit if this is gonna qualify as wanking material... i'm still too stuck in the eye-rolling stage to really get in to it. 

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 7:32:17 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		Yes. I expect it will take some time to form a good relationship. Took me enough years to find my Dom.

quote:

Okay, we're gonna need to get a lot more explicit if this is gonna qualify as wanking material... i'm still too stuck in the eye-rolling stage to really get in to it



Roll your eyes at what?


(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Attractive as a sub. Not as a domme. - 12/16/2007 8:08:21 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty
quote:

Okay, we're gonna need to get a lot more explicit if this is gonna qualify as wanking material... i'm still too stuck in the eye-rolling stage to really get in to it



Roll your eyes at what?



The "well, the Older, Wealthy European Aristocrat thinks I'm hot, but the stripper thinks I may be too short for her, so Am I Hot Or Not??" bit. If a wealthy older woman was hot for your bod, would you be all worried about your hotness? No. You'd be seducing her, and to hell with us. You broke the whole suspension of disbelief deal without a single long, thick, studded dildo being rammed into a single wet quivering hole.

Fail.

< Message edited by petdave -- 12/16/2007 8:09:22 PM >

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 20
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