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In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 6:44:05 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Regarding the thread about behavior. In your minds, is there any difference in your expectations between "real life" interaction and the internet?

Jeff


damn....... I meant to put this in the general bdsm area

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 12/17/2007 6:46:16 AM >
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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 6:49:58 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		In my expectations? No. Hence my ongoing sense of... disappointment in how so many seem to accept that being behind a computer means they can say whatever they want. Usually saying things online they never would offline to someones face. Yes there have been times when I have crossed my personal line but not often and I always regret it. I will admit that I was brought up in a home that emphasized manners and personal communication and I wonder if that made for the difference. *shrugs* I have no answers for others behavior but I think I will continue to have high expectations simply because that is a part of me.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 6:50:54 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Good manners and being kind to people knows no bounds. Whether you are who you say you are or not. Behind that screen is a human being presumably with feelings. If a person believes that because this is a forum that they may abuse anyone at anytime for their enjoyment. i feel as sorry for them as the people who condone their behavior.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 6:52:07 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I did not read that thread, but I will say that my desire is that there is no difference, that is, that within reason I expect the person to be overall who I think they are in personality, looks and deportment.....of course, there is something lost in translation on the screen, but it shouldn't be so far outta goddam whack that it and the person are unrecognizeable.

And yeah, for the most of anyone that I am sparking, I expect to meet....

If I want friends I will get a cockroach.

Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 7:00:11 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Regarding the thread about behavior. In your minds, is there any difference in your expectations between "real life" interaction and the internet?

Jeff


damn....... I meant to put this in the general bdsm area

No. I am the same in real life; I hope that other people are to.

Notice I did not say 'expectations'. I have no expectations from anyone online; or in real life.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 7:00:35 AM   
lauren0221


Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		I have the same expectations for online interaction as I do in real life. Are they always met? Heck no.

I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole 'nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online



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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 7:11:49 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

my desire is that there is no difference, that is, that within reason I expect the person to be overall who I think they are in personality, looks and deportment.....of course, there is something lost in translation on the screen


I agree with this.  Yes, there are things lost in translation.  And sometimes there are people who tend to assume certain personalities on message boards that aren't exactly how they are in real life. 

My hope would be that a person is genuine, in whatever form that takes for them.  I know this is not always the case.  And seriously, you can't know the entirety of a person from what they post on a message board, you need to talk, spend time, to really know/understand another.



_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 9:13:15 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		No I have no different expectations. I think most people go online and live in a vacuum then get upset when they see less then perfect behavior and maybe more importantly expect to get better treatment or consideration from groups and types of different people then you might normally get in real life.

That younger and more attractive woman online is still just not going to be that interested in that way older out of shape man because she calls herself submissive and he calls himself dominant.

The fact is in real life there are plenty of rude, inconsiderate, game players, and liars. Plenty of real life interactions with the same issues of not being serious, flirting with no intention, gross misrepresentations and all other things you see in cyber. The difference is in real life these are more found in the non verbal queues or easier to spot. In cyber they are just hidden easier.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 9:56:56 AM   
lauren0221


Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		A more serious answer - even with the best of intentions, we humans can tend to idealize someone we have never met. Even if someone is not deliberately misrepresenting themselves, misunderstandings can occur. It is much easier to be the perfect submissive, or perfect Dominant online. There are no physical limitations, no problems with online toilet seats being left up or down, no concerns about how much cyber money someone overspent and for what, etc etc.

I do my very best to be who I am, whether online or in person. And no matter how strong the attraction and connection may seem online, there is no guarantee it will translate to real life.

< Message edited by lauren0221 -- 12/17/2007 10:03:14 AM >

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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 10:05:05 AM   
eevin


Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

In my expectations? No. Hence my ongoing sense of... disappointment in how so many seem to accept that being behind a computer means they can say whatever they want. Usually saying things online they never would offline to someones face.


For me, there's a freedom of anomity on line that allows me to say things that, IRL, i'm just too shy or worried about hurting someone's feelings to utter.  But i still don't act mean or say these things TO that person.  Its just a way to vent frustrating energy to get out what i'm feeling all twisted up inside about.

_____________________________


Plants are simply slow animals.

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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 11:25:51 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Regarding the thread about behavior. In your minds, is there any difference in your expectations between "real life" interaction and the internet?



No Jeff, my expectations are the same.  I still expect you to send flowers on my birthday. And chocolates.  The good ones, not the garbage they sell at the dollar store. And a pretty new toy... and... I should stop now. 

I am the same here as in real life.  The internet doesn't give me any more courage to say things I wouldn't normally say, because I'm normally that outspoken and direct anyway.

However, I don't expect anyone else to be the same way.  I expect that on the internet they are more direct, more forthright, more courageous and less "flawed" than in real life.  If I'm wrong, then it's just a bonus.  If I'm right, then I'm not surprised.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 11:56:39 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Jefff,

You cannot expect anything from people; people are simply fascinating creatures who are bound to behave in a myriad of ways.

You can only expect certain things from yourself and be the judge of your own behavior. I am a very outspoken and honest woman, I also tend to be quick with a comment, and some think I am a sparkling wit while others find me bitchy. Do I care? Not a whit.

Why? Because those I am interested in communicating with, I believe I will find my common ground with, the old saying that water seeks its level is as true online as it is in real life meetings.

Are there some people who portray themselves differently online and hide behind the monitor? Sure enough. But it is usually clear enough when you read enough postings from particular people.

The leveling factor for me is consistency. If someone posts in a consistent manner I can tell alot about them (only whatever they are putting forward of course since none of us know a thing about each other until we meet or talk in person).

What I detest with every fiber of my being though are hypocrites, those posters who cry foul over others who disagree with them or do not post the way they would like. Which is fine except for the transparently veiled insults they try to invest their cries of "oh look how mean and horrible everyone online is, why can't we all just be gentle and courteous to each other because I have such thin skin and I am so insecure I have to cry out to the world that I am _______ every other day".

That both amuses and disgusts me, but again, I have no expectations of anyone online or off line.

Only of myself and I set those expectations pretty high.

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 12:00:13 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		My communication in person and online are pretty much the same.  If I were to meet someone they'd see the same silliness, they read online.  Yes, I have a serious side and even a sincere side... but it's all the same on and off the computer.  Oh wait... there's also the nasty slutty side too, but I don't share her with everyone

girly

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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 12:35:14 PM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		I don't have expectations from anyone online at all. They can be nice or proper pricks or some margin of grey between the two. I can always shut off the computer and ignore the net. My interactions with people in " real  time" is completely opposite. I have expections of at least common manners from those folks I  interact with in person. My standards for myself are quite a bit higher and what Master expects of me goes a tad bit more above that.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 12:44:01 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

My communication in person and online are pretty much the same.  If I were to meet someone they'd see the same silliness, they read online.  Yes, I have a serious side and even a sincere side... but it's all the same on and off the computer.  Oh wait... there's also the nasty slutty side too, but I don't share her with everyone

girly

Well fiddlefuck.

Come on....you can share....

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 12:45:33 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

My communication in person and online are pretty much the same.  If I were to meet someone they'd see the same silliness, they read online.  Yes, I have a serious side and even a sincere side... but it's all the same on and off the computer.  Oh wait... there's also the nasty slutty side too, but I don't share her with everyone

girly

Well fiddlefuck.

Come on....you can share....


Ya gotta love a girl who uses the word fiddlefuck in a sentence!

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 12:48:30 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Ya gotta love a girl who uses the word fiddlefuck in a sentence!


LMAO my teenager one day, accidently said that. She meant to say fiddlesticks and it came out fiddlefuck. LMAO It kind of stuck with me.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 12:53:17 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		No, not really. I am, however, often disappointed with how those on the internet fall so much shorter of my expectations than people in person at a lifestyle function. Perhaps this is why I have, as of yet, to have a successful relationship begin online.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

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RE: In person or Online? - 12/17/2007 1:09:48 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't walk around having expectations of others either in r/l or online. If I did, imagine how disappointed I would be all the time.

I hope to meet people in both venues that are self aware, mannerly, kind, and caring. And I am always happy when such a hope comes true.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: In person or Online? - 12/18/2007 2:36:59 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		The problem with online communication is that the reader will tend to read from their point of view or their mood at the time and that may not match the writer's point of view or mood when writing.  Without body language or other nuance it's easier to misundertand the meaning of written words.

Perhaps i don't communicate as well in writing as other people.  i find it much easier to commincate in person than on line.  Beacuse of that, i tend to be more forgiving of what people write, and try not to read my own mood into other people's words.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

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