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Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/17/2007 10:22:21 AM

Kirren

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Is it common for two Domme's to work together in training a sub? When one Domme is more...sadistic than the other does that work well? Or is it better to just let it go?

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RE: Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/17/2007 10:58:45 AM

LadyPact

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I've co-topped with other Dommes for that purpose. I haven't translated it into an actual D/s or M/s dynamic.

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RE: Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/17/2007 11:37:32 AM

LadyHugs

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Dear Kirren, Ladies and Gentlemen;

First, I would want to establish who the alpha/principal/senior Dominant is. The owner, regardless of seniority in the scene should be the principal Dominant. This is usually worked out behind the scenes between 'us' Dominants. The reasoning, is that we understand our role and avoid confusion as to who to obey first and foremost.

Second, each Dominant has their strengths and weaknesses. In working with another Dominant, it is nice to have someone who is strong where I am not and vice versa--which gives an intense and consistant measure of applied techniques and skills to that slave in training.

Third, I think that any co-Dominant must be given boundaries to operate in, so they can be creative and spontaneous with their training and or scenes.

Fourth, in any co-Topping/Dominant situation --it is never equal. One must always be in the lead/charge--which usually is the one who the slave submitted themselves for training to. I do realize that Dominants may need help in training a slave however, this is not meant for a outside Dominant to 'take over.' This is why boundaries must be made and understood--and the other Dominant, if they are willing to be more of a help than a threat; should willingly put themselves into a mentor and or support stance as not make it appear as a 'take over.' But, that said, the one being helped should never be less than respectful of another Dominant. Only when there are skills and or techniques to be shown the supporting/mentoring Dominant should take over as to show and teach--and, as soon as its ok for the mentored Dominant--to take on the lessons learned and practice. If it is just a 'scene'--the owner of the slave should remain principal Dominant and the other in support. But, this is how I see how things should be done and have had much success in teaching/training new Dominants with their slaves. For others, they may have their own methods. Regardless, the slave should never loose sight of who their owner is.

That said--IF, there is a slave who submits to a Dominant couple--they do have equal powers. This is when the two Dominants need to establish who shall be the principal/alpha and or in what areas they will be alpha/principal or supporting Dominant.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/17/2007 12:28:45 PM

Kirren

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Intresting, I find that it could be....a learning experience for Me.

We shall see.

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RE: Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/17/2007 12:53:55 PM

ItalianSMistress

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I have played with a second Dom/me a number of times, it is always fun. But Lady Hugs is very right that there MUST be an alpha and beta Dom/me for this to work.

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RE: Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/17/2007 1:08:29 PM

Politesub53

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i could see a danger in the submissive trying to play one Domme against the other, if it was an ongoing relationship

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RE: Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/17/2007 1:46:48 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear Politesub53,

That indeed could happen however, what can be fun--is allowing the submissive 'think' the games are unnoticed. [Grins Sadisticly]

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/17/2007 6:58:04 PM

Kirren

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I think the issue I see developing is that I am way more sadistic and Dominant in My ways. Demanding and very detail oriented. Not hard to please, but...I expect it to be done right...no excuses...so...I guess well see how it goes...Its not a play session mind you...just a training.

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RE: Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/17/2007 9:15:34 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear Kirren, Ladies and Gentlemen;

There are many training styles and techniques. In training, as an instructor --I do my best not to overwhelm the person I am training. It just promotes frustration and that leads to other problems.

I am a very detailed person myself. I find myself typing up handouts to students, they become mini-books. Its not 'about me' but, the details of techniques and styles of things, cautions and thoughts and observations. My last faculty post--I gave out a 47 page handout with illustrations along with a CD-ROM. But, all this does not replace being along side someone and participate in the training and willingness to show how, to include tricks of the trade and short cuts and how to problem solve something. Even this, the slave must find what best works for them as to be allowed the freedom to serve in their way as well as to be in the your way style also. I do not mind compromising and changing something as to help slaves serve at their best--regardless on a Saint Andrews Cross and taking a sadistic caning and or serving me tea or another beverage.

Every time I interact with someone--it can be considered a form of training. It can be from inspiration, from attempts to copy-cat, to face to face conversation and or physical interactions. This is how I see training--as we (in general) teach people how to treat us and they teach me how to teach them as well as treat them.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

< Message edited by LadyHugs -- 12/17/2007 9:18:08 PM >

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RE: Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/18/2007 2:20:16 AM

kevinbd9

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I have served a Master and Mistress at the same time before and each would always tell me to do something different at the same time. I am sure it was done on purpose. This would get me punished by one or the other for not doing what that Mistress/Master said first.

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RE: Should I or shouldnt I? - 12/19/2007 10:16:17 PM

MsCfromMelbourne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirren

Is it common for two Domme's to work together in training a sub? When one Domme is more...sadistic than the other does that work well? Or is it better to just let it go?

It really, really depends on the person you invite to co-Dominate your sub with you (assuming that is the plan)

If the dynamic is great between all three of you, it can be fantastic fun.

I recommend trying a scene/play for a few hours before committing to any serious "training" together. Most of the time it is an absolute hoot!!!

But be a little careful who you let into the intimacy of your D/s relationship and how far. Some weird things can happen.

We had an attractive pro-domme in Melbourne who was extremely sadistic and always happy to carve up other people's subs with scalpels. She did do lovely work.

However, she took a shine to one very talented male sub and asked if he could give her a lift home (as it was really late and she did not drive). What else could his Mistress say but "yes"?

The pro-domme seduced the sub as soon as they got to her place and told him not to tell his Mistress. The sub was in non-sexual service so perhaps he had every right to submit to the pro-domme's sexual demands? After all, BDSM creates a lot of sexual energy. But he was then in a mess being order by one "trainig" Domme to hide something important from his other Domme.

However, needless to say, the pro-domme also wanted the sub to dump his (non-sexual) Mistress for her. She was - after all - the alpha sexual dominant and had just proven it.

You don't need this kind of soap opera in your life.

I find co-topping works well if you and your sub (as the primary couple) agree to treat the "helping" Domme as an honoured guest and friend, but you set clear boundaries that there will be no sexual conduct with her. She is there for technical assistance, not emotional and sexual involvement.

But I am not a swinger and I don't share nicely. Other Dommes may differ of course

I agree with Lady Hugs and others that you need to agree (tacitly at least) who is primary Domme and who is 'the helper', but you also need trust and respect between Dommes that the secondary will not then use underhanded tactics to become alpha.

It is somewhat second nature for some Dommes to need to win every competiton with other Dommes for power..... avoid those types!

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 12/19/2007 10:34:23 PM >

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RE: Should I or shouldn't I? - 12/20/2007 2:20:34 AM

mons

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greetings

i am not one to share so for me it is not a good ideal but there are many who think it is ok, what you think matter if it not comfortable for you then do not go for it. who slave will it be? yours or hers . this is important . this is what i do and i tell my son the same if you have second thoughts on anything them do not do it .

good luck mons

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