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ocilla -> RE: Small penis humiliation (1/16/2008 10:52:05 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MadameMarque
quote:
ORIGINAL: MistressScarlot
Ok.
This might be hard for some people to understand. Many of us have the instinct to build others up. That's absolutely a great thing.
The thing is...with boys who enjoy things like small penis humiliation...
for some it is an utter relief to face the fear and embarrassment about their size head on. Having a woman laugh at, point out, make fun of their small penis is a blessed relief, and somehow grants them internal permission to be more ok with it. It feels good to have it acknowledged and made fun of.
In other words, it helps some to swim directly into the murky waters of the psyche...even if it doesn't make sense to others.
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We can't all understand every sexual need or urge there is, because we all have our own experiences and realities that are unique. Just because you don't understand something...doesn't make it wrong or bad. Just different.
Exactly, MistressScarlot. There's no use in putting down another's scene, just because you don't understand it. Humiliation as exciting is very difficult for some to understand, if they have no empathy for why it's hot.
"...to swim directly into the murky waters of the psyche." That's great. Very apt description of psychological scening, especially humiliation.
There's also the subtle but very real difference between humiliation that excites someone and humiliation that tears them down. Midori (in a presentation on humiliation scenes that was archly insightful and applicable, and which I highly recommend, if you can book her to present it) gave the analogy of the ego being like a structure. In humiliation - or any scene - you don't want to tear down the load-bearing walls. You don't want to damage a person's sense of self, by messing with aspects of themselves upon which their good sense of self depends.
What works for a person, in humiliation play, and what tears them down, is very individual. As you see, some would be understandably genuinely hurt by their penis size being made fun of, while others are very excited by it. Same for humiliation based on race, another touchy topic. Or being objectified, as an inanimate object, or as just a body for use. Or many other scenarios.
It's very bad to hear of people launching in and humiliating, shaming, or just insulting someone, without having some understanding of the person they're humiliating and how that might effect them, first. People report dominants making racist remarks, calling them names, remarking on their cock size, or other physical characteristics, without any prelude, without any idea how it would effect them, personally, and saying or doing the wrong thing to a person, can genuinely make them feel bad and just be hurtful. A person who does this doesn't understand what they are doing.
The dynamic upon which humiliation scening hinges, is quite subtle. Someone posted here, a while back, that he kept going to pro dommes, asking for humiliation, and all they would do is call him names and insult him. He felt they didn't understand what he was talking about, and was very frustrated. Apparently, neither he nor they knew enough about it, to question what the dynamic was that really worked for him.
Personally, I can really get into some forms of humliation. Making it about a small penis is not really my thing. But if it works for you, have a perverse good time!
I am in total agreement and understanding with you ladies, but it took some effort to get my head around it. Now I find it fun and a great way to use my predilection for verbal sparring and my smartypants, laser sharp, evil wit which would be inappropriate in most any other situation. It is one time when I can say what is on the tip of my tongue when 99% of the time I am biting my tongue.
So initially, I was totally squicked by the idea of humiliation and then I met a boy who I really clicked with who loved it. He was fairly good about explaining it and letting me ask lots of questions so I could understand why and where to draw the line. He is a guy who many folks rely on in a big way and by the very dent of his profession, station in life and upbringing he cannot bring himself to relax or be anything other than responsible for everyone but himself. And I am quite grateful that he can't allow himself to faulter in his vanilla life - the world would be a scarier place if he were not so dilligent and disciplined. So, he loves verbal humiliation because it allows him to be bad and not have to live upto his external vanilla standards, and for him also a christian right criteria (his father was a pentecostal minister) in a controled and safe way. It is very liberating for him and a total turn-on. I get it.
I also cannot even count how many men upon revealing their cock mention how small they are...I never know quite what they are going for as they have all been of adequate size. On one hand I wonder if they want me to validate their size as adequate or if they are hinting at a desire for small penis humiliation. I never, ever go there though unless we discuss it openly first and then I have to know why and feel okay with it becuase the motivation and very nebulous line is different for each individual. I feel it takes a good bit of empathy and careful sign reading to do it.
For instance I think I would have some difficulty with the fellow above whose wife conditioned him to be turned on by cuckolding due to his small penis being inadequate.
I have lovers/subs whose bits are not big enough to completely do it for me via penetration but that is only one way to satisfy me and I make sure they become skilled in more nuance and finess in order to please me and any woman who might be in their future. One of my many community services. *smiles*
Also...folks with micro penises - male/female/androgen - report that their appendage still gives them intense and pleasurable sensations when played with....so why not.
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