Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games



Message

kiyoshi -> Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/18/2007 12:24:13 PM)

I have a problem, and it's a shame,
and being a woman -I don’t complain.
Stress incontinence - I wet my knickers,
Occasionally when I get the snickers.

Off to the shop for waterproof panties,
it said on the box, Rubber Scanties,
strange these knickers, with no elastic,
they fit real snug, cos they’re made of plastic.
 
The knickers, aren’t what I expected,
no worries here, don’t feel dejected,
fancy fetters, shiny black PVC,
I look in the mirror, wow! Sexy me!
 
I wiggle my ass, chains crackle and sway,
for every day wear, maybe a little risqué,
they’re very comfy, don’t get me wrong,
but I’ll make less noise with a leather thong.
 
Back to the shop for some chainless thrillers,
they offered me some passion killers,
up to the waist, and covered my flanks,
I sped from the shop, with a sharp NO THANKS!

kiyoshi x



seeksfemslave -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/19/2007 3:42:29 AM)

Those shiny black panties
Look alluring to me
Bend over Kyoshi
Better then I may see

Did you notice those boots
With heels scarily high
Quite often the style
Reaches up to your thigh

A corset a choker
With gloves long and shiny
Transforms Kyoshi
To a domme hot and mineee  (new word meaning belonging to me)



kiyoshi -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/19/2007 8:33:34 AM)

Why thank you seeksfemslave
I see you're deranged
Thanks for the comment
[I'm sure you're not strange]

I like writing poetry
But much more, like it read
Preferably to me,
When I'm tucked up in bed

Although I'm no Shakespeare
I try so hard to please
By writing or serving
Or down on my knees

The next one i post's
'Bout a naughty young slave
And as hard as she tries
She just can't behave

I know you may think
It will be about me
But i'm such a good girl
No way, could it be!


Many thanks for the comment!!!  Very much appreciated!!

Thank you kindly.

Ki x




Saratov -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/19/2007 12:10:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiyoshi

(snip)
I know you may think
It will be about me
But i'm such a good girl
No way, could it be!


Ki x




[sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]



seeksfemslave -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/19/2007 3:10:22 PM)

Kyoshi my sweet on your back you must be
Mouth wide open and looking at me
I move slowly towards you
With my tool and my mask
I am quite dominant today and up to the task.

I push and I probe and I wriggle and strain
Kyoshi is happy 'cos she feels no pain

Tho' Kyoshi is willing and to please eager
It seems that  today my spoils will be meagre
My temper erupts
I shout Gadzooks and Forsooth
For try as I might
I cant find a bad tooth



kiyoshi -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/20/2007 3:19:20 AM)

Now I read your poem
With a smirk and a grin
With wide sparkling eyes
And spit on my chin  

As I sat in the chair
And looked up at you
I saw the hairs up your nose
Hell what shall I do?  

Three hairs were a hanging
Hmmm, dare I do that?
So I grabbed them quite hard
Made them into a plait  

On the end of the plait
I tied you a bow
But it fell in your mouth
When you hung your head low  

Omfg no!
Your plait needs a clip
So I took out the scissors
And gave it a snip  

You now have no nose hairs
And the ache in my tooth?
I was really just teasin
And that is the truth!    

ki x



seeksfemslave -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/20/2007 3:56:58 AM)

Nose hairs you say in your delirious condition
Well I'm here to give you the true rendition
Those hairs that you grabbed were not on my face
But down much lower in a quite secret place.

My pain was enormous my suffering unstated
One slip of those scissors would have left me castrated.

You would think I would have something better to do lol
But I havent.



kiyoshi -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/20/2007 8:52:30 AM)

I’m a good little submissive
Not into castration
I may flirt a little
To easy any frustration  

And I’m sorry I grabbed
The hairs in that place
I was sure they belonged
To the nose on your face  

And now here I sit
I’m red with a blush
And just glad that the hairs
Weren’t fixed to your tush!






seeksfemslave -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/20/2007 9:49:15 AM)

Ms Kiyoshi you subbe I order a hush
You're never to mention
My ideally shaped tush.

My thighs are so muscly
My calves are so sleek
Maybe one of these days
I will give you a peek

If the tables are turned
Your round arse  in my sight
I should love to whip it
then give it a bite.

I think one of us is mad.lol
It could be me 'cos while I was washing up I thought of a bit more to add.
Now off to watch 2 episodes of Frazier then  2 of Becker
Cya



kiyoshi -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/20/2007 2:23:16 PM)

I may be a subbie
But I don’t have a big gob
So of course I wont mention
Your tush or your schlob  

My thighs are so womanly
My legs though are short
And only last week
A plan I had to abort  

My arse wipes my footsteps
Right up off the floor
And as I rifled a house
Someone came through the door  

I looked at the man
With a whip in his hand
He said, ‘bend over that chair’
With an air of command  

All my ill gotten gains
Fell out of my bag
And as I did as he said
He then got out the gag  

So my night as burglar
Came to a quiet sticky end
With a very hot Dom
Who’s now my best friend 




seeksfemslave -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/20/2007 5:55:58 PM)

A fact  by all thats just known to be true
is that Ladies their arses quite frequently rue.
We Gents without doubt know how it is different
A full female arse used for fun is sufficient.

A vanilla will try  his best to placate
A Dom will beat  enter and brook no debate
The Subbe will wriggle and threaten the law
but deep down inside she is desiring of more.

A Sub will  admire  and worship  all   day
Lick kiss and caress just come what may.
The Sub is so happy the Domme is content
to hell they will go no stopping for Lent.

Kiyoshi for you such truths I will declare
as you chew the pillows with your arse in the air.
Your bra on my head your legs are akimbo
I send best wishes to a beautiful bimbo.

Give up yet ?



kiyoshi -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/21/2007 12:42:04 PM)

Give up? You have got to be joking!
Especially since its my arse you are poking!
To chew only on pillows, guess I’d lose some weight
Though if I’m just a bimbo – is up for debate!  

And if I had time, I could worship all day
But there just aren’t enough hours for full time play
We meagre subs have to work for a living
Even if we would prefer to be giving.  

Oh I guess I could peel you a grape
To satisfy your incredible insatiate
And wiggle my tush
All velvet and lush  
Flash my deep sultry eyes
Lick my lips, tell no lies
And you can surmise
From my laden sighs
That there’s no compromise
For between my thighs
Like opening skies
And I cannot disguise
With whimpering cries
Therein lies the prize! 





seeksfemslave -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/22/2007 3:55:49 AM)

I admit it is true
I'm a bit of a loner
Tho' I still get demented
when sporting a boner

As you claw the carpet
I can only observe
your womanly grottos
inviting a perve

The brown one the pink one
Percy  now is awake
He knows very soon
An entrance to make

I feel quite ecstatic
For a change it is true
A real woman  to be Percy's
and mine  too.

Which passage which orifice
Percy shivers and shakes
So I rub slap and pull him
While a decision he makes.

Anal vaginal still cant decide
Which one to enter
which way to ride
As I follow Percy
His eye all a gleam
when Shit
I wake up
Its all been a dream.



kiyoshi -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/22/2007 8:41:45 AM)

We all have our dreams
We all have our hopes
Enjoy life to the full
The laughs and the jokes  

But it’s a serious business
Finding a dom
And a lot of the time
I get it so bloody wrong  

And when I close my eyes
I too have my dreams
But here on CM
A lot of liars it seems  

They say they’re not married
They are single, alone
But all that they want
Is a woman to bone 

And others too serious
So far up their own arse
With ten year old photos
When their hair wasn’t so sparse  

And it’s real nice to find
A dom with a good sense of fun
Who’s a great rhyming poet
But now you have won  

For soon it is Christmas
I must take my role as another
To enjoy all of my family
And my life as a mother  

For you a super Christmas
And I hope that you hear
My heartfelt true dream
For a peaceful New Year    

Very best wishes to you and your family,   Ki x  



Termyn8or -> RE: Stress Incontinence [adult humour poem] (12/22/2007 4:16:27 PM)

I simply wonder,
From where they escaped,
And if they would do it,
Videotaped

Youtube would glow,
Abound with new flicks,
And watchers compare,
their arse and their (nevermind)

The gawkers will gawk,
The wankers will wank,
In Cleveland we wonder,
How full is her tank

Squirters are great,
And number so few,
It might be a thrill,
If she pisses on you

If you treat her so good,
And squeeze her so tight,
There's little doubt,
You'll get it wet tonight

True love in the making,
A wonderful sight,
But get some protection,
If you want to bite !
_________________________________________________________________

Standard kinky poetry disclaimer form number one :

1. This post is to be accepted at face value. It is not intended to offend nor demean anyone. This post is offered as a response to, and in the spirit of the OP.

2. You're the one who put it in the humor section.

__________________________________________________________________

So laugh at yourself, and when you do don't be offended when others join in. It's good that you can joke about it.

I might be back with more prose,
To tickle the nose to the toes,
We'll have to see how that goes.

T




Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.015625