Another Holiday Gift... (Full Version)

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TreasureKY -> Another Holiday Gift... (12/18/2007 7:32:18 PM)

Around this time last year I posted a “holiday gift” to dominants in a thread and shared some helpful hints on how a dominant might go about exploring his sub’s kinkier side.  I thought I’d continue the tradition and offer up some unsolicited advice that may or may not be of use, but might not otherwise be as freely given.  This year, I thought I'd broach the subject of cunnilingus.
  Bear in mind that I’m hardly an expert on all women and the best source for information for what the woman in your life likes would be her… however, I’ve heard enough complaints and have had enough experience in my own past that I feel I can give some fairly decent suggestions.  At least a few that might be applicable to some women, anyway.   Probably the foremost thing I could recommend to men is to consider what feels good for you.  Men and women are a lot more alike than you might think… in some respects, anyway.     Too often men give the impression that they believe that it should only take mere moments of stimulation to bring a woman to orgasm.    *lick, lick, insert finger, suck, lick*  Why isn’t she screaming in ecstasy yet?   While that may be true in certain cases where a woman is already extremely aroused, with some hyper-sensitive women, or for porn flicks… for the most part women are going to take just as long as any man would take in a similar state of arousal.      The next time she gives you a blow job, time it to see how long it takes you to reach orgasm.   Then, give her at least the same amount of time if she needs it.   Next bit of advice would be to start off slow and with a gentler touch.  You can always increase sensation, but it’s hard to restore arousal to your girl if you’ve attacked her clit with teeth right off the bat.    That is, if you can pry her off the ceiling.   Think about what would feel good to you if your girl was to give you a hand job from a semi-flaccid state.  Would you want her to grab you and just start yanking?  Or would some soft strokes and gentle rubs be a better way to get your motor going?   Of course, with a masochist sub your warm up might involve a flogger or a single tail.  [;)]   Also, just like men, most women reach orgasm through the same kind of process… ever increasing speed and pressure.  A steady pace will get her there, but it will take a lot longer.   The final two pieces I feel halfway comfortable in giving are just general information.  First, the clitoris is not an equal opportunity organ.  There are places on the clitoris that are more sensitive than others… “hot spots”, if you will.  I’ve read that generally the most sensitive part of the clit for women is in the “one o’clock” position... that is, if you are facing a woman’s genitalia, the area on the side of the clit that would be at “one o’clock” on a clock face.  I don’t know how prevalent the “one o’clock” hot spot is, though… my own is at eleven.    Finally, variety is generally not a friend to women.  It may seem a bit boring to you, but if you keep changing up what you are doing (licking to sucking to stroking, etc.), it’s going to take a lot more effort and a lot more time to get her off.  Find the sweet spot and stick to it… don’t stop the stimulation.  Women do not reach a “point of no return” like men do and when stimulation stops, ground is quickly lost.   Best wishes and happy holidays to all!
Treasure




crouchingtigress -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/18/2007 11:10:55 PM)

YAY!!!.....i hear some holiday bells ringing tonight.

thanks Treasure, fabulous job!




Dnomyar -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 4:36:31 AM)

I agree that some women do not like variety. That totally sucks. I know women who will not change positions ever. They will not let go and try other ways. Then they cry that their spouses seek others. You can tell that Im in a good mood this morning. Sorry this post just rubbed me the wrong way.




Driver1961 -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 5:16:52 AM)

Ummm, so you post here to tell dominants how to behave or to give tips to dominants that may wish to expand their limited knowledge on fanny munching?  (Fannies are vaginas in Oz)  Yep, this post rubbed me the wrong way also.

I would like to add many comments, eg;
Some Dominants have no need to take your advice because of their views (and their female submissive/s) on what constitutes their relationships.

Communication is a key to a successful relationship in any sense, not the ability to munch according to TreasureKY.  This 'communication' transcends information you foist generally to all dominants.
(Edited after perusing your profile which states '
The true heart of D/s is about giving. Each partner supplying what is
needed to complete the other. It is a symbiotic relationship, plain and simple... the desire to be fulfilled and to fulfill the other borne out of mutual admiration, respect and trust. Each person reaping the
benefits in whatever form they take.


In short your intentions may be well placed however: As a Christmas Gift  you could begin a tradition of showing understanding of what The Lifestyle is, not your interpretation of how the Lifestyle should behave.

Warm regards to all, Driver.






Dnomyar -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 5:37:26 AM)

Driver your more eloquent than I am.




windchymes -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 5:47:35 AM)

So we're back to the "one true way" of D/s relationships, and there should be no Doms trying to please their subs through pleasurable cunnilingus, it's just all about what the Dom wants.....or is capable of doing.  Merry Christmas!





KatyLied -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 5:50:20 AM)

quote:

Sorry this post just rubbed me the wrong way.


mnnn, I am being rubbed the wrong way too.  Almost.  All the op does is make me miss oral more achingly than I already do.  Thanks Treasure.
[:)]




TreasureKY -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 5:53:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

YAY!!!.....i hear some holiday bells ringing tonight.

thanks Treasure, fabulous job!


Thank you, tigress.  I just wished I had bothered to check how this had posted last night... I would have corrected the horrible formatting.   [;)]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

... Then they cry that their spouses seek others.


I'm afraid this confuses me a bit.  Why would your woman accuse you of fooling around just because you changed tempo and switched from licking side-to-side to up-and-down when going down on her?

I am sorry you are in a bad mood this morning.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Driver1961


... In short your intentions may be well placed however: As a Christmas Gift  you could begin a tradition of showing understanding of what The Lifestyle is, not your interpretation of how the Lifestyle should behave.


Good morning, Driver.  I'm having a little difficulty deciphering your comment, but I suppose that is fair considering the formatting in mine is so horrible.  [;)] 

First, I'm sorry if this post wasn't to your liking.  It wasn't my intention to wound any egos or ruffle any dominant feathers.  If you've no need of pointers because of successful experience, then that is wonderful for you.  If you and yours believe that dominants don't give oral to their submissives, then that is fine, too.  To each his own.

I do agree that communication is key to any successful relationship, and as I said in my op, communicating with your own woman would be ideal. 

I am a little curious as to why you feel my interpretation of "the lifestyle" has any bearing on this post?







breatheasone -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 6:06:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

So we're back to the "one true way" of D/s relationships, and there should be no Doms trying to please their subs through pleasurable cunnilingus, it's just all about what the Dom wants.....or is capable of doing.  Merry Christmas!



Hmmm...then my husband has been a "D" type all this time and I didn't know it.....[sm=biggrin.gif]




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 6:22:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

Bear in mind that I’m hardly an expert on all women and the best source for information for what the woman in your life likes would be her


then you should have stopped right there before posting the rest.

thanks but no thanks - mine are doing just fine without the "expert" help.




crouchingtigress -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 6:24:31 AM)

everypost is not for every person. there are plenty of folks that will find value in this post.

i am very surprised at the seeming fragility of egos who have personalised this post to read that they, or thier dominants, are doing something wrong. i should not be surprised, but i still am.




KatyLied -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 6:30:39 AM)

quote:

i should not be surprised, but i still am.


Yeah, it's sort of interesting to see what sort of posts will strike a nerve.

Seriously, it this op helps just one sub get some improved action it was worth it. 




Aileen1968 -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 6:38:23 AM)

Katy, you're being so non bitchy.
You must be very horny.

Personally...the whole thread seems somewhat pointless because this is one of those subjective things.  How I like and want to get eaten out ain't gonna be how the girl down the street is gonna want it.
And there was no mention at all about a nice hard slap to the pussy.  What's up with that?




KatyLied -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 6:40:54 AM)

quote:

Katy, you're being so non bitchy.
You must be very horny.


check
and
check

I have a non bitchy side, it's very boring though




TreasureKY -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 6:55:09 AM)

I find it interesting, too... FirmhandKY did tell me that he thought posting this thread would cause some disagreements, but I think he believed that mostly women would comment that the information was not applicable to them. 

I agree that there is a great deal of variety in what women like, but if it gets people talking, then it's all good, right?  [:D]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

And there was no mention at all about a nice hard slap to the pussy.  What's up with that?


*whispering*  I was trying to keep my personal preferences out of it.  [;)]




crouchingtigress -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 7:04:11 AM)

dang hot pic Aileen!

i dont think its pointless, personally there are so many men out there that dont understand how similar the penis is to the clittoris, some do, true, and KUDOS to them!

but many dont, in fact many men think the clittoris is just the little button at the top, and they do rush things, or change directions or bite while the woman has not warmed up yet...(i loved how she reminded, it was like a flacid cock)....

i think this conversation needs had...and if only one person listens and learns...yay.

i am glad that some of the women here, including myself,  are getting the good stuff....just know, that does not mean that every one is.





littlebitxxx -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 11:02:52 AM)

Kudos to the OP, and I didn't read this is a "Pussy-Eating 101" type thing either.  There is a lot of great info in there.  Let's face it:  there is mind-blowing oral, great oral and sucky oral.  The clit is not the end-all be-all of the woman's anatomy...well, maybe it is....but it's not necessarily the only part.   And if this post does help one sub get happy, it has done it's job. 




Jeffff -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 11:25:34 AM)

 As a Christmas Gift  you could begin a tradition of showing understanding of what The Lifestyle is, not your interpretation of how the Lifestyle should behave.

Warm regards to all, Driver.



[/quote]

The " Lifestyle: is what the lifestyle is, to the people involved. Every one defines it as they wish

Jeff




MystressDream -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 4:15:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlebitxxx

Kudos to the OP, and I didn't read this is a "Pussy-Eating 101" type thing either.  There is a lot of great info in there.  Let's face it:  there is mind-blowing oral, great oral and sucky oral.  The clit is not the end-all be-all of the woman's anatomy...well, maybe it is....but it's not necessarily the only part.   And if this post does help one sub get happy, it has done it's job. 


I agree this is a great post.  Sorry to say, but there are MANY men (NOT ALL)out there who don't really have a clue about how to do this well.  ::: ducking from the flames :::
 
As a woman and a FemDom, I appreciate any information put out on this.  If more men would pay attention to what was written, more women would be walking around with smiles on their faces.  <grin>
 
To the Doms:   Train your submissives or slaves in what you like, but don't close your minds to learning a few things about reciprocal pleasure.  Good grief!!!  This has NOTHING to do with "lifestyle"!  This is just pure and simple pleasure.  Get over yourselves. 




agoodgirl4Daddy -> RE: Another Holiday Gift... (12/19/2007 4:48:35 PM)

i'm just disappointed she didn't mention eating the woman's pussy and inserting a couple fingers into her pussy and stimulating her gspot!  [:D]




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