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talibahh -> RE: Dealing with Procrastination in yourself... (12/20/2007 1:56:04 AM)
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liminalRapture:
Maybe it is unrelated. But I accepted this side of myself right around when I finished the doctorate. I keep hoping to have some sort of external discipline because I don't have any internal discipline anymore.
littlebitxxx:
Once we get used to being controlled and directed, even if not micro-managed, do we lose our sense of self-direction and self-discipline?
Forgive me for quoting 2 people in the same response, but they both stood out to me, being the same comment, really, which i wish to respond to, if i may...
A wise Master who is teaching me so much, pointed out to me, the need for a slave (or submissive) to perhaps have an even greater self-control, or self-discipline, than perhaps she once did.
A Master or Dom cannot always be present, however a slave must always behave as though He were, by following His directions and wishes. Sometimes this means going against something the slave may not really wish to do, or do yet (if she is still relatively inexperienced, or not perhaps)...
If for example, she has been instructed to NOT eat chocolate, yet considers herself a chocoholic it takes great self control and self-discipline for her to follow her Master's wishes by not eating chocolate, even though she could when He is not there... However if she did so, this would lead to dishonesty, or a willful breaking of His rules... And trust is a huge thing in a Master/slave or Dom/sub relationship, (in my humble opinion anyway).
So if a said trust is broken over such a thing, by the slave either denying she had some chocolate, then the relationship won't last, or is a farce. If she is honest and admits her wrong doing, this could lead to punishment (depending upon the relationship), or even (if a willful disobedience to a rule is broken) in some extreme cases (again dependant upon the relationship), a slave breaking her contract (if they have one) and could dissolve the relationship. Now i am not suggesting this may happen over chocolate... it is a mere example.
What i am trying to point out, is that when in such a relationship, self-discipline and self-control can be even MORE important for a slave/submissive, not less so. A Master/Dom needs to have an element of trust in His slave/sub to follow His rules/wishes, whether He is there or not.
i hope this makes sense and maybe helps in understanding that even though a slave/submissive gives up control to her Master/Dom, it doesn't mean she no longer needs to be in control of herself, her actions (self control), or have no self-discipline... on the contrary...
just my humble opinion
tali [&:]
*edited for typos... hope i got them all! [:D]
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