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I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 7:37:38 AM

BenevoleMasterFL

Posts: 28
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

I don't understand. This sub writes to me.
In a very helpful, kind, generous and
loving way I ask her to go to a vanilla
site to learn all about me to determine
if she wants to pursue further.

That was not an order, but a suggestion
in her best interest.

Now she says that she doesn't go to other
sites and doesn't think we match.

That's ok with me.

My question is:

Was I too nice and maybe does she think
I'm not strict enough?

_____________________________

A Benevolent Master in Florida

Post #: 1

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 7:50:52 AM

Isolde

Posts: 213
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Hamilton, Ontario
Status: offline

Speaking personally, I prefer people who are nice and polite when making first contact. It sounds as if wasn't your being nice that she took issue with. Maybe she went to your site and what she saw there told her that you and she weren't a good match, but rather than hurt your feelings she gave you an excuse. Maybe she just wasn't interested at all.

From what I've read, those dominants who try a chest-thumping approach immediately only have a decent success rate with online players and brand new submissives who still buy into the "real dom/real sub" philosophy. Be yourself. If that means you're a nice, polite man, that's great.

(in reply to BenevoleMasterFL)

Post #: 2

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 7:56:28 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

From my position: I would have gotten the feeling that you couldn't be bothered to put the energy into talking to me, instead you give a pre-existing canned bio.

Now I don't know if that's the truth, but that's the way it comes across.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Isolde)

Post #: 3

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 7:56:52 AM

BenevoleMasterFL

Posts: 28
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Isolde

Thank you Isolde,

The reply was immediate and she
did not have time to look.

_____________________________

A Benevolent Master in Florida

(in reply to Isolde)

Post #: 4

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 7:59:40 AM

BenevoleMasterFL

Posts: 28
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

Thank you OsideGirl,

Actually, I wrote her a very long message.

My suggestion was an added benefit to her.

_____________________________

A Benevolent Master in Florida

(in reply to BenevoleMasterFL)

Post #: 5

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 8:34:25 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Was I too nice and maybe does she think
I'm not strict enough?

perhaps....or maybe she really doesn't want to get to know you. when this slave was in initial contact with Master He offered the link to His (vanilla) business site. this was not seen by this slave as being too nice or non-strict, just thoughtful, and this slave appreciated it very much.

(in reply to BenevoleMasterFL)

Post #: 6

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 8:41:38 AM

BenevoleMasterFL

Posts: 28
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

Thank you Mercnbeth,

It was intended to be helpful and
yes she may have had no interest.

If that were the case, a note saying so,
I think, would have been more appropriate.

I would have appreciated that and she
would have made a friend.

_____________________________

A Benevolent Master in Florida

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 7

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 8:57:51 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello There,
From my point of view I don't think you were too nice.
I'd also like to say when others ask me to write them outside collarme it throws up red flags to me also.
I just don't understand the need to talk out of this realm with people that talk to me here to start with. Why are you here if you're not comfortable communicating here. To me that's just plain stupid. It's not like you could send E-Mails any place else that would be different than talking here. I think there's a lot of us that will pass over you if you're not comfortable communicating here especially since you're obviously in here already. I wonder what purpose it serves you to talk elsewhere unless you're trying to find a way to break into their operating system or something? I say respect our privacy constraints and talk here or move on too.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to BenevoleMasterFL)

Post #: 8

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 9:43:17 AM

BenevoleMasterFL

Posts: 28
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

Thanks suzanne,

I did not ask that she write me away from this site.
I merely suggested that if she WANTED to know
about me before going further, she could find out at -----.

_____________________________

A Benevolent Master in Florida

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 9

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 9:49:04 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Benevolent Master

I do not think you were TOO nice you just politely asked her to go to a site to learn more about you. if she did not even bother to go look and said you were not a match then you are better off without her. If somone is not nice to me in a e mail i don't even respond i have responed to all the polite e mails i have gotton.

litleone

(in reply to BenevoleMasterFL)

Post #: 10

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 9:53:08 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

Perhaps you really -weren't- a match? It seems like she told you politely enough she wasn't interested....

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 11

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 10:01:14 AM

BenevoleMasterFL

Posts: 28
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

Thank you littleone35,

I agree with you 100%.

I think she is playing games as she
continues to write.

_____________________________

A Benevolent Master in Florida

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 12

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 10:28:39 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

If the response was immediate perhaps as suggested she did think you were too lazy to tell her about yourself.

Myself, I'd want both and then more.

IF she is indeed playing games do you want to participate in them?

If not cut her off and let her squirm, who knows she may turn out to want to know after all.

(in reply to BenevoleMasterFL)

Post #: 13

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 12:07:54 PM

BenevoleMasterFL

Posts: 28
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

Thank you sub4hire,
I'll not answer any others.

_____________________________

A Benevolent Master in Florida

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 14

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 12:27:39 PM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BenevoleMasterFL

Thanks suzanne,

I did not ask that she write me away from this site.
I merely suggested that if she WANTED to know
about me before going further, she could find out at -----.

Hello Sir,
That is a little different.
I must say I'm probably not the norm. as I'm one of the most internet phobic people you'll probably ever meet in here. I'd have been leary of going into a recommended site of yours too. If you’re a computer genius you could have gotten her IP address and found out where she was writing from.
I won't even access collarme from my home for this very reason. I know this is possible as my Brother is a programmer and he's shown me how to find out the addresses of people who access his business site.
Based on the communications I've seen you post I don't believe you'd have any ill intent but you never know who's got ulterior motives and a girl can't be too careful.

Besides she probably didn't deserve you any way.

Good luck finding a sub that will appreciate your wonderful heart. She'll be a lucky girl indeed.

Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to BenevoleMasterFL)

Post #: 15

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 12:29:23 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

Let it go.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 16

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 2:18:54 PM

MemphisDsCouple

Posts: 146
Joined: 11/1/2004
From: Memphis, TN, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64

Hello There,
From my point of view I don't think you were too nice.
I'd also like to say when others ask me to write them outside collarme it throws up red flags to me also.
I just don't understand the need to talk out of this realm with people that talk to me here to start with. Why are you here if you're not comfortable communicating here. To me that's just plain stupid. It's not like you could send E-Mails any place else that would be different than talking here. I think there's a lot of us that will pass over you if you're not comfortable communicating here especially since you're obviously in here already. I wonder what purpose it serves you to talk elsewhere unless you're trying to find a way to break into their operating system or something? I say respect our privacy constraints and talk here or move on too.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

1. CM has lost emails. I only found out when people said why didn't you respond, or I said why didn't you respond.

2. CM's emails don't quote prior text from the email you're writing back about so it's sometimes difficult to keep a running conversation going.

3. Just generally, a regular email site/client is going to be more reliable and be more user friendly.

4. I've been invited to chat here on cm and their chat rooms are just as primitive, bare-bones and unuserfriendly as the email function.

5. By contrast, other pm programs are intuitive, user friendly and widely accepted and used.

I don't think you get hacked by exchanging emails or using a chat program just for chatting. You get hacked by downloading files (the kind of hacking you're talking about).

So, if I'm talking to someone I'm not going to want to do much of that on cm. I'm going to want to move to a more user friendly environment. If she doesn't want to follow.... shrug....

I'm not a sub. I found this thread when I was researching something with the search function. This is the first time I've ever read this message board. So if I'm not supposed to post here - my apologies. Hope you find the above helpful.

_____________________________

B. (the male half of MemphisDsCouple)

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 17

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 3:31:00 PM

BenevoleMasterFL

Posts: 28
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

Software is availiable for hiding your IP address.

I searched for those four words and found the solution.

_____________________________

A Benevolent Master in Florida

(in reply to MemphisDsCouple)

Post #: 18

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 7:39:17 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I don't understand. This sub writes to me.
In a very helpful, kind, generous and
loving way I ask her to go to a vanilla
site to learn all about me to determine
if she wants to pursue further.

That was not an order, but a suggestion
in her best interest.

Now she says that she doesn't go to other
sites and doesn't think we match.

That's ok with me.

My question is:

Was I too nice and maybe does she think
I'm not strict enough?

Are you really suggesting that you change yourself to suit this sub? Who cares why? She wasn't willing to do what you asked of her, for what ever reason. Honestly, she did you a favor...you found out very soon that you weren't compatible.

Next!

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to BenevoleMasterFL)

Post #: 19

RE: I'm confused. Will a sub hel me? - 8/19/2005 8:43:38 PM

BenevoleMasterFL

Posts: 28
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

Thank You Lily,

You read me right. No Way
was I going to change. I was being
a gentleman and was being helpful.

Some just will never be able to tell
the difference between the genuine article
and a lot of hot air.

And, of course, I'm looking for intelligence.

My thought is that if someone doesn't
know how to use the computer they
should ask, or say so, and not be rude
because they don't know.

There's no protection for anyone, using
the Internet, by staying within the confines
of a single web site.

I was saying. "go here and learn all
about me." Maybe I should have gone
there and cut and pasted the profile into
my email, but I didn't.

My thought was that she should do a
little bit of thinking to find the good
stuff.

I saw no need to break out the silver platter.

And, yes, she did me a favor. I still don't
know why she wrote in the first place.

I do know that I am new to the site and fairly new
to the lifestyle and I will be careful. I, too, have
some sensitive parts.

_____________________________

A Benevolent Master in Florida

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 20

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