RE: I envy male submissives (Full Version)

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KnOcala -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/26/2007 5:47:42 AM)

I appreciate all the pro dommes here and I know a lot of people enjoy that.  But for me, I am more into power exchange and submission.  I want to freely give myself and be accepted.  If I am handing over a cash and myself then I am not really surrending myself to a woman for her pleasure/use/desire.  It is a financial arrangement and I don't believe for a second the bond and therefore the experience could never be truly satisfying.
I know many feel otherwise and I mean them no disrespect.  its my personal feelings. 



max2rime -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/26/2007 8:45:02 AM)

Ms.  There are gay male boy bottoms.

I am straight as an arrow but to serve and get $ ?  Where do I apply?

puppy boy max



trueshadow -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/26/2007 2:40:40 PM)

I'd gladly submit to you, and if you wanted to pay me, all the better! 

I've submitted of course to a variety of women, and I'd like to think we both get something out of the deal.  A win/win as they say.

I think if you'd keep your eyes open, you might just meet such a person without meaning to.

For example, I have my own toys and I request that my Superior play with me (if she wants) with only my toys, as it is safer.  I have a nice home, etc etc etc. I am very obedient and don't ask for much, and many of my fellow male slaves are the same way.

I see your point about not having to think about it, but I doubt there are enough women such as yourself that would warrant a male slave hanging up his own shingle (or flogger).



cloudboy -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/26/2007 7:18:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: erebus

I'm not seeing the problem here.



What's interesting is that Aakasha can't say she's looking for a secondary partner, and this is Aakasha's fourth go-around on this subject. From what I've read, no one seems able to prescribe a method that would make boytoyism OK, risk free, conscience absolving, and easy to execute. Hence these threads go in circles.




AAkasha -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/26/2007 8:10:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: erebus

I'm not seeing the problem here.



What's interesting is that Aakasha can't say she's looking for a secondary partner, and this is Aakasha's fourth go-around on this subject. From what I've read, no one seems able to prescribe a method that would make boytoyism OK, risk free, conscience absolving, and easy to execute. Hence these threads go in circles.




The discussion of "pay for play" male submissives is interesting and enlightening and one I have enjoyed discussing over the years.  I have a big fetish for the idea (and have paid a male escort, not for sex, but for bondage, because I find the dynamic hot) and think it's worth discussing - I also think more women are becoming keen to the idea, and with luck, there might be an emerging market. It's led to other discussions, like the female-run "party/club" idea in another thread (which I have some new business ideas for, but unfortunately don't have the time to look into that for at least a year). It also motivated me to get in touch with one of my favorite producers of M/m bdsm videos and there may be some possibility that we could collaborate in the F/m video world -- so, in a word, WOW!  This discussion is a good one! I also really enjoyed the advice about hooking up with couples, which I am also looking into.

So, there really *is* an answer to the challenge of making "boytoyism"  (I love that term! I will be using it!) "OK", risk free, easy to obtain and conscience absolving."  I kind of feel like a kid in candy store right now, I started the thread more wanting to vent, now I am sort of overhwhelmed with the options. I also got a much-needed reality check on my own ethics and in 2008 vow to be MORE SELFISH and let the poor submissive men who fall prey "suck it up" so to speak - hell, as long as I am honest and up front, who cares?  I worry too much about hurting the feelings of submissive men; I can't control that.  I can be honest about my needs, though, and be on my way. 

edited to add: Why can't I say I am looking for a secondary partner? I am! But he is going to have to be *damned special* and *damned hot* and I am going to take my time. In the meantime, "pay to play" would be nice, because between being self employed and torturing my husband, I don't have a ton of free time.

Akasha



beneathfeet -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/27/2007 1:17:37 AM)

Another venue that might be worth pursuing is contacting any of the local pay for play Dungeons and asking if they care to co-sponsor offering a male submissive service.  If anyone has a pulse on the market is the professional dungeons and the Mistresses who run them.  They probably even know off the top of their heads appropriate male clients who would be willing to provide the service.  As well as which ones would fit Your needs most closely.

Bottom line, if there is a a business case to be made, i would imagine that several of the professional dungeons in CA would pioneer the idea.  And who knows with any luck perhaps it will catch on over here on the east coast and could make a change of profession.  Ulterior motive disclaimer inserted here.



NotNutsReally -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/28/2007 12:04:52 PM)

quote:

I am straight as an arrow but to serve and get $ ? Where do I apply?


McDonalds, Buger King, Taco Bell, if you're really searching for some humiliation you can get paid to searve at White Castle mmmmmm.



stripmymanhood -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/29/2007 2:22:52 AM)

ummmm....make me an offer   LOL

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: unforegvn

Are you saying submissive females couldn't benefit from the services of a PRO-DOM?  I don't believe it is necessary to deny any one more than another just because of their sexual drive.  Female submissive have just has strong sexual drives as their male counterparts.


I'm talking specifically about there being no professional male submissives. At least, not a large enough market for someone who is a little bit selective.

Akasha




Einzelganger -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/29/2007 3:42:27 AM)

This topic has been on my mind since my previous posting, and another nagging problem to this would be the sub's safety.  I wasn't going to go there, but this would need to be addressed somehow; this is of course not a problem with pro-dommes, as they have clients who can vouch for them.  Personally, I don't submit to women I've never met, and I doubt money would change my preference; when I'm bound, my life is quite literally in that woman's hands...which is not to say she couldn't do something to me when I wasn't, but when I submit to someone, I render myself defenseless to any harm, physical or mental, she may wish to visit upon me.

Perhaps I worry too much, but you can never be to safe, considering what's at stake.  This is just my opinion, of course...

-Einzelgänger



gregor2001us -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/29/2007 11:23:45 AM)

Akasha:  Perhaps here is an idea that is a variation of several themes already expressed.  Check this site:

http://www.kink.com/

While i do not have much knowledge about them, the little i do have seems to indicate they are expanding and looking for new markets.  It may be possible for you to feed Your fetish by working with them on a FemDomme video....my thought is You would be an actress, they would help find a suitable sub, and they would provide the safe and well equiped facility...

Regards



came4U -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/29/2007 12:06:18 PM)

quote:

Girls are lucky in the no strings attached arena. We never have to pay and we can get what we want almost instantaneously if all we want is an itch scratched.


Well, the itch never quite gets scratched properly thus, I would be more than glad to pay for a Dominant. If that were the only method to finding a Real man, hell yeah I would. Yet, I am fairly young still and not bad looking, so no reason to pay. Not going to settle for anyone mediocre in the meantime though. Mediocre men can be tossed out in the morning and the itch returns. Bah humbug



lateralist1 -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/29/2007 1:50:11 PM)

I don't envy male submissives at all.
Ok maybe the ones that lie and cheat to get what they want.
I sometimes envy anyone like that but it doesn't last long.
But for those who are seriously looking for a kinky dominant woman to own them like you KnOcala then life isn't that great.
First you have to find her. Then you will probably have to relocate to see her regularly with the hope that one day you will be allowed to share in her life. You will have to go through a lengthy period of training so that you can be of service to her and even then you can't be certain she will collar you. You may have to forgo having children or fulfilling other ambitions in your life.
I have even heard of Dominants refusing to let their lifetime subs look after them when they are ill. And the thought of maybe not being allowed to make love to your Dominant or being dismissed for the smallest infraction well lets just put it like this I don't envy you one little bit.
So my answer to you AAkasha is stay honest. If you can't look after another sub then stay the hell out of their lives. Because really they don't need you. Playing at this just fucks people up until they are too old to find the right one.



SterlingDS -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/29/2007 5:58:40 PM)

quote:



I don't envy male submissives at all.
Ok maybe the ones that lie and cheat to get what they want.
I sometimes envy anyone like that but it doesn't last long.
But for those who are seriously looking for a kinky dominant woman to own them like you KnOcala then life isn't that great.
First you have to find her. Then you will probably have to relocate to see her regularly with the hope that one day you will be allowed to share in her life. You will have to go through a lengthy period of training so that you can be of service to her and even then you can't be certain she will collar you. You may have to forgo having children or fulfilling other ambitions in your life.
I have even heard of Dominants refusing to let their lifetime subs look after them when they are ill. And the thought of maybe not being allowed to make love to your Dominant or being dismissed for the smallest infraction well lets just put it like this I don't envy you one little bit.
So my answer to you AAkasha is stay honest. If you can't look after another sub then stay the hell out of their lives. Because really they don't need you. Playing at this just fucks people up until they are too old to find the right one.


Yes, neither do I.  After reading this thread, all I can help but feel is the reverse chauvanism at play in all these posts of hers.  If a male dom came on here with a similar sort of topic, I think 90% of the posts would be full of outrage at his insensitivity, callousness, and lack of decency.

Really Aakasha, I think you're bored and looking desperately for something to whine about.  Get over yourself.  You're upset because you can't find an easy reliable source of flesh that comes with no issues and no agenda - wow, poor you.   Welcome to planet Earth, population 6 billion and counting.



sunshinemiss -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/29/2007 6:25:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

If a man is willing to submit to a complete, total stranger - with no strings attached - not expecting anything in return - what does that say about him?  Would you do that - meet an anonymous stranger from the Internet to have anything done to you, not knowing if she's a stalker, a killer, a man in disguise, someone setting up a snuff film?  For a man to agree to such a deal blindly means he is willing to compromise his own safety, deny he has any care whether she is clean/unclean/sane/insane, deny any potential danger -- all to fulfill some fantasy on some level. That tells me he is desperate to have an experience, or he is not capable of logically thinking it through. 
Akasha


How is this possibly not true about you, too?  What kind of woman agrees to blindly meeting a strange man with no strings attached? What does that say about YOU?  If you are willing to dominate someone - an anonymous stranger from the Internet.  You are possibly meeting a stalker, a killer, a man in disguise, possibly setting up a snuff film.  Clearly YOU are denying the danger you put yourself in.  That tells that YOU are desperate.  (i'm merely mirroring your own words by the way, if you don't like them, look in the mirror.)

You are being grossly unfair to men... and to subs in general.  Not all subs are like that nor are men.

The reality is that you have quite a few good solutions - particularly the gay men scene.  My experience is that gay men are much more adept at maintaining physical relationships without the emotional involvement. 

Let's see - you live in California, you're a beautiful pro-dom, you are professional, you probably go to national/international events.  You have a lot of options.  And you say you were looking at a gay boy bottom - well um there are a million of them in SF.

And you are whining.  It is not attractive.  Many of us have limitations in the world of BDSM - yours are paltry at best. Put on your big girl panties and get over it.



AAkasha -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/29/2007 6:45:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

If a man is willing to submit to a complete, total stranger - with no strings attached - not expecting anything in return - what does that say about him?  Would you do that - meet an anonymous stranger from the Internet to have anything done to you, not knowing if she's a stalker, a killer, a man in disguise, someone setting up a snuff film?  For a man to agree to such a deal blindly means he is willing to compromise his own safety, deny he has any care whether she is clean/unclean/sane/insane, deny any potential danger -- all to fulfill some fantasy on some level. That tells me he is desperate to have an experience, or he is not capable of logically thinking it through. 
Akasha


How is this possibly not true about you, too?  What kind of woman agrees to blindly meeting a strange man with no strings attached? What does that say about YOU?  If you are willing to dominate someone - an anonymous stranger from the Internet.  You are possibly meeting a stalker, a killer, a man in disguise, possibly setting up a snuff film.  Clearly YOU are denying the danger you put yourself in.  That tells that YOU are desperate.  (i'm merely mirroring your own words by the way, if you don't like them, look in the mirror.)

You are being grossly unfair to men... and to subs in general.  Not all subs are like that nor are men.

The reality is that you have quite a few good solutions - particularly the gay men scene.  My experience is that gay men are much more adept at maintaining physical relationships without the emotional involvement. 

Let's see - you live in California, you're a beautiful pro-dom, you are professional, you probably go to national/international events.  You have a lot of options.  And you say you were looking at a gay boy bottom - well um there are a million of them in SF.

And you are whining.  It is not attractive.  Many of us have limitations in the world of BDSM - yours are paltry at best. Put on your big girl panties and get over it.


I'm not a pro femdom, I have a normal career that has nothing to do with kink.  And I don't go to lifestyle events. I don't have any desire to get involved in the bdsm scene in So Cal. I don't think I would find what I am seeking there anyway. But I received a lot of great ideas in this thread, am in discussions with a fantastic m/m bdsm director, have plans to meet a potential second slave in the first quarter of next year and am negotiating with an extremely hot gay bondage model for a weekend rendesvous.   See what happens when you vent? I appreciate all the feedback.

Akasha
(who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?)



cloudboy -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/29/2007 11:40:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I'm not a pro femdom

(who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?)



"who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?" --- I do. You can't run professional femdom enterprises and deny being a profemdom because for whatever reason, that doesn't fit your own self image.

Your interest in FEMDOM is hugely professional. One cannot help but wonder if your painstaking search for the **right other** malesub is nothing more than a marketing gimmick and carrot to drive traffic to your website and phone line.

The facts that you are married, hold a day job, and didn't used to charge for your website don't change your professional standing or interests. Given your long history of staunch advocacy for professional femdoms, I don't understand your denials here.

Why not be proud of who you are like MistressDolly and DiannaVesta?

-------------

http://akashaweb.com/updates/phone2007.html

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1423446/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1423446

---------

AKASHA WEB

Femdom Erotica *Online Training* Relationships

Join Now for Instant Access!

What kind of whore are you?

Total Whore Pass- $69.95 for 6 months

Slut Pass- $13.95 monthly recurring

Lowly Bitch Pass- $19.95 one month

http://www.akashaweb.com/ccbill/index.htm



AAkasha -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/30/2007 12:14:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I'm not a pro femdom

(who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?)



"who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?" --- I do. You can't run professional femdom enterprises and deny being a profemdom because for whatever reason, that doesn't fit your own self image.

Your interest in FEMDOM is hugely professional. One cannot help but wonder if your painstaking search for the **right other** malesub is nothing more than a marketing gimmick and carrot to drive traffic to your website and phone line.

The facts that you are married, hold a day job, and didn't used to charge for your website don't change your professional standing or interests. Given your long history of staunch advocacy for professional femdoms, I don't understand your denials here.

Why not be proud of who you are like MistressDolly and DiannaVesta?

-------------

http://akashaweb.com/updates/phone2007.html

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1423446/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1423446

---------

AKASHA WEB

Femdom Erotica *Online Training* Relationships

Join Now for Instant Access!

What kind of whore are you?

Total Whore Pass- $69.95 for 6 months

Slut Pass- $13.95 monthly recurring

Lowly Bitch Pass- $19.95 one month

http://www.akashaweb.com/ccbill/index.htm


Once again, thanks for the plug to my site. I love it!
Once again, to summarize for you:
My web site was free from 1995 - 2005 and went pay to prevent my content from being stolen and republished without permission.
My career, which has nothing to do with kink, thrives and supplies me enough income to keep a stay at home husband and boytoy who does not even work.  That should give you an idea of what my salary (without kink) is.
I decided after 7 years to start doing a few femdom phone calls a couple of times a week- and I love it! Keep them coming. 

I think pro femdoms provide a great service to the community.  Unfortunately, I don't have that kind of energy, so I stick with my boring (well, sometimes) marketing career.  But being self employed and successful does have benefits.  For example, I have a few new prospects I am cultivating, and have sent out toys to all of them - none of them have paid a time to me for my time.  I love to spoil my personal pets.

Please keep directing people to my site with these tantrums.  Those who have been around usenet for -- geez, what is it, ten years now? -- have seen my web site grow and know what I went through to keep it up, active, and FREE for a long, long time. Almost a third of my life - heck, I'm getting old! :)

Edited to add: As a marketing professional, frankly I am insulted that you would assume I'm ignorant enough to use a thread like this to drive traffic to my web site or phone calls; If I wanted to do that, I would start threads about wanting to fuck any man willing with my strap on or take on longterm sissies for intensive phone training to lead up to real life maid service, or weave some complicated fantasy requiring multiple hoops and include tons of juicy details. The specific nature of this thread is to illustrate that this is NOT about fantasies that may appeal to mass numbers of male submissives and is not about their dream of being sexually objectified.   I could have adopted "bait and switch" techniques galore to drive traffic to my site if that was my intent with this thread.    Now, if you want to keep promoting my site by tacking your disclaimer on everything I write- by all means, please do!

Akasha



petpete -> RE: I envy male submissives (12/30/2007 3:55:24 AM)

Dear AAkasha. Its been a number of times i have thought the same way as You have.. The difference is that it will be no different then going visiting the "rent a Domme" at least from my prospective as a sub.. In such case it would be purely to fulfill my sexual gratification and that alone.. No feelings, no depth, truly no relationship.. Much easier to happen i do agree!! Not having to commit is very easy just to so to say "get your rocks off", and then emptiness without meaning.. Seasons greetings and happy new year to You Girl..
petpete



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