RE: begging

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: begging

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: begging

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: begging - 12/24/2007 5:14:30 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If I'm in a headspace of feeling something, and really physically craving it, then I'm not in a verbal space. So being told to beg drags me out of the headspace leaving me unhappy and angry and no longer wanting it.

What does work is for him to tell me what he wants to hear. It's a lot easier to repeat the words then it is to think them up. And once you've heard what he's looking for, you can then repeat them the next time. But sitting there thinking, "No, that isn't good enough" or "that's too corny" just ruins the day.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Sabella)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: begging - 12/24/2007 5:46:52 AM

Rianne

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline

This is a great thread. I have trouble with it as well. Like DesFIP, when I'm deep into my body, I'm not in a verbal place at all and it really flusters me to try and talk. Its very hard for me to ask for what I want when I'm right in the middle of wanting it.....all kinds of things start running through my head and it forces me out of my normal personality. Sometimes it gives me that humiliation buzz and I can really see how it gives him more control....dragging me out of that subspace and twisting me around his little finger for a bit before letting me swim back into the warmth of my own head.

Words are just hard for me to come by sometimes and my conditioning tells me not to say those nasty things, or put what I want into words. The ONLY thing that gets me through is my devotion to pleasing him and the encouragement he gives me, and the trust I have in him. Begging is just hard for me, though.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: begging - 12/24/2007 7:02:20 AM

LivingInSin

Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

so when im getting ready to hit my subspace someone could ask me war secrets and i would tell them! its like a truth syrum fo mr.....im thinking begging would be a breeze in that case. No self consiousness, no pride.....just need.

_____________________________

*Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom*

*Myth says that only the woman who has been an utter slave can be truly free------this is no myth*

(in reply to beltainefaerie)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: begging - 12/24/2007 8:05:58 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

begging is not part of our relationship

i would be very uncomfortable if i have to resort to begging for something from my dominants.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to beltainefaerie)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: begging - 12/24/2007 8:16:58 AM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

I think NothernGent had some great points.

When I was first with Master, I had such a hard time begging! I couldn't think of anything but, "Please!" it was very frustrating. But I realized it did come down to insecurity- I wasn't used to saying aloud the really dirty thoughts I had, I was afraid on some level of being too vulnerable, and I didn't want to sound stupid. (although I know that last one IS stupid).

Eventually, as my trust grew for Master's acceptance of me and how dark I really am (He is more comfortable with my darkness than I am), I found the words coming from my mouth- dark, dirty words and desires as He told me to beg for it. Sometimes, still, I cringe when I recall what I've said when begging, but He loves it.

So, my advice would be to let go of the voices that call for propriety, the ones that say that is sick, or "I can't say that!". Just let it flow from the darkest recesses of your psyche. And don't listen to what you are saying.

I remember, at the beginning of our relationship, Master often almost made me crazy by insisting I tell Him what I had been thinking during a bit of play. I told Him this and that, and tried to make something up- because for the life of me I couldn't remember and I wanted to please Him so much. He did this often, and pushed me on it, as I recall. Finally, one time I just yelled, "NOTHING!, I was thinking nothing!" He smiled. I finally got it. I wasn't thinking, I was just BEING. That was His goal. I wasn't editing, or considering how I should react, or thinking, do I look fat or unattractive in this position? I was just in the moment, experiencing the sensations that He wanted to give me.

Looking at it this way, you should look at begging. Stop thinking about it. Don't think about the words, "what do I say next?". Just let it flow- what you are feeling, what the sensations are. And don't be afraid to be dirty! That's the best part. Let it be real. Let it flow from your core.

And now I've gone on enough. I hope it has made sense.

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to LivingInSin)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: begging - 12/24/2007 8:25:37 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

To no one in particular..I find most begging to be ah how to put this Hollywood little actress's play a role.smile...Mine very seldom beg for any thing,they will ask and if I find a need then we will give them what they need......Why Hollywood,look around when you attend events and munches at all the knee falling and begging and the Dom's eating it all up...Just this ol' masters views on the subject...

< Message edited by BOUNTYHUNTER -- 12/24/2007 8:26:44 AM >

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to laurell3)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: begging - 12/24/2007 9:13:56 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I'm a stuborn kitten, if I'm told to beg for soemthing I no longer want it. It's like a brick wall goes up and I am suddenly over it, I don't want it, don't need and wont have any of that... even if it is something I REALLY want.

I 200% agree with this....it seems to be the way I am wired as well.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to desertdancer)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: begging - 12/24/2007 9:06:47 PM

girlivy

Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

begging is difficult, the first time MS was kind enough to tell me how to beg, (what Sir liked to hear), and after that, the flood gates were wide open! Good luck!
ivy

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to laurell3)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: begging - 12/24/2007 11:55:24 PM

SwPuno

Posts: 72
Joined: 10/28/2004
Status: offline

I know the heat of the moment is a bad time to think about how to structure a sentence but it may help you get past the roadblock until it becomes more natural to remember to include 3 elements when you beg:

- referring to the top in the appropriate manner
- refer to yourself in some manner that is appropriate and that notes the difference in your status
- some clear statement of what it is you would like permission to do

I think these should get your request across and get at least in the neighborhood of the depth of submission your top wants. If not, they'll probably guide you on the part to improve. So "Fred, may I please have an orgasm" might do it but "Master, may your slut PLEASE cum now " might be required or insisted upon instead. But at least you've got a starting point that you can work with.

Overall, though, I agree, it is the depth of urgency in the voice that makes the most difference. A simple "Pleeeaasssee" can be wonderful if the person asking really means it.

I hope this helps.

(in reply to girlivy)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: begging - 12/25/2007 12:36:46 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

~ FR ~

You don't just want it. You NEED it. You can already feel it...taste it...smell it... you will surely come apart at the seams if you go just one more second with out it. It's just out of your reach, dangled like a carrot over you, teasing you. You're right at the edge, teetering, about to fall over...with everything in you, this is the one thing keeping you this side of sanity...

Feel it intensely. Let this need consume you.

Now...beg for it.

(it's not the words, it's the need)

(in reply to SwPuno)

Profile

Post #: 30