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Biker Night before Christmas - 12/23/2007 3:52:46 PM   
Saratov


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Jay Harris <[email protected]> wrote:

Biker Night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas,
And not until Spring,
Would an engine be running,
not even a Wing.
The bikes are all sleeping,
They're covered and warm
Batteries are tended,
nylon covers their form.
My Bros were all nestled snug in their beds,
While visions of new chrome danced in their heads.
And I in my doo-rag, bike jacket and boots,
Out shoveling snow, and dreaming of scoots.
Then from the horizon there came such a clatter,
My shovel I dropped,
what could be the matter?
Away up the hill,
I slogged through the snow,
Looked up at the sky;
where'd all that noise go?
A throb from the heavens like straight pipes so hearty,
Gave Summers' good thoughts,
a loud bikers' party.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a neat '02 Retro,
Red trailer in rear.
With a little old rider,
so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than Crotchies his Retro came on,
And he whistled, and shouted, and sang out this song;
"Now, Harley!
Now, Big Dog!
On Honda and Beamer!
Now Vulcan!
Now Injun!
On Vict'ry and Trumpet!
To the top of the porch!
to the top of the wall!
Now RIDE away! RIDE away! RIDE away all!"

As small bikes that from the semis do fly,
When they meet with the air blast,
mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top
that Ol' X it flew,
With a trailer of goodies,
and ole' St. Nick too.
And then, in a twinkling,
I heard on the roof,
The rumble and thunder of pipes that gave proof.
I ran to the house,
boots thumping around,
And in came St. Nick all bearded and round.
Dressed all in black leather,
from do-rag to boot,
His chaps were all tarnished with road grime and soot.
A T-bag of goodies he'd flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His shades -- how they twinkled!
his do-rag how scary!
With chains intertwined,
through skulls that were cherry!
His droll little mouth had done many a row,
So the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
The smoke had a strange smell;
it gave him relief!
He had a broad face
and a large fat beer belly,
That shook, when he laughed
like a bowlful of jelly.
He was tattooed and plump,
a right jolly old rider,
So I offered a cold Bud,
thought what could be righter?
A wink of his eye as he downed that cold beer,
Gave me to know I had nothing to fear.
He spoke not a word,
but went straight to my ride,
And fixed it with Chrome,
Horsepower and Pride!
And giving the peace sign with bikers' good cheer,
Took off for his Retro which was rumbling quite near.
He sprang on the saddle,
his gloves on the bars,
A wheeley he threw then off towards the stars!
I heard him exclaim, as my chest swelled with pride...

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD RIDE!"


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RE: Biker Night before Christmas - 12/23/2007 6:04:59 PM   
Arpig


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yawn


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RE: Biker Night before Christmas - 12/23/2007 8:23:29 PM   
LivingInSin


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WOO HOOOO!!

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RE: Biker Night before Christmas - 12/24/2007 1:56:31 PM   
VadFarkas


Posts: 923
Joined: 6/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

yawn



Maybe this is more to your liking?

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual
Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic
activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential,
including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was
meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric
apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent
visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric
appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective
accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual
hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through
their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head
coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness
when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such
a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from
my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source
thereof.

Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing this
fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected
as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, might be
said to rival that of the solar meridian itself
- thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to behold a
miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by eight diminutive specimens
of the genus Rangifer, piloted by a minuscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient
and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our
anticipated caller. With his ungulate motive power travelling at what may
possibly have been more vertiginous velocity than patriotic alar predators,
he vociferated loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia,
and addressed each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen - "Now
Dasher, now Dancer..." et al. - guiding them to the uppermost exterior level
of our abode, through which structure I could readily distinguish the
concatenations of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.

As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was performing a
180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved - with utmost celerity
and via a downward leap - entry by way of the smoke passage. He was clad
entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebony residue from oxidations of
carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls thereof. His
resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to the plethora of
assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle.

His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary
dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability. The
capillaries of his malar regions and nasal appurtenance were engorged with
blood which suffused the subcutaneous layers, the former approximating the
coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of the Prunus avium,
or sweet cherry. His amusing sub- and supralabials resembled nothing so much
as a common loop knot, and their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared
like small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water.

Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose grey fumes,
forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative
seasonal circlet of holly. His visage was wider than it was high, and when
he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the
manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container. He was, in
short, neither more nor less than an obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the
optical perception of whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite every
effort to refrain from so being. By rapidly lowering and then elevating one
eyelid and rotating his head slightly to one side, he indicated that
trepidation on my part was groundless.

Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aforementioned
appended hosiery with various of the aforementioned articles of merchandise
extracted from his aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth
receptacle. Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt about-face,
placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory
organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and
forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke
passage. He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance,
directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to
the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a movement
hitherto observable chiefly among the seed-bearing portions of a common
weed. But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to
his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility: "Ecstatic Yuletide to the
planetary constituency, and to that self same assemblage, my sincerest
wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable period
between sunset and dawn."


_____________________________

Vad Farkas ~ Ringsmith
See my collars & cuffs at
www.ringofsteel.net

(in reply to Arpig)
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RE: Biker Night before Christmas - 12/24/2007 3:59:13 PM   
seeksfemslave


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And not a word of thanks to Rudolph, he of the brightly tinged proboscis.
At least his confreres get a mention.

< Message edited by seeksfemslave -- 12/24/2007 4:01:16 PM >

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RE: Biker Night before Christmas - 1/5/2008 5:15:36 PM   
Hanable


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Joined: 3/19/2007
From: BFE ohio
Status: offline
interesting... i like it.

H >:)

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RE: Biker Night before Christmas - 1/5/2008 5:22:38 PM   
GreedyTop


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From: Savannah, GA
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VadFarkas.... WONDERFUL!!  My Grandfather (who had a love affair with words) would have LOVED that :)

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RE: Biker Night before Christmas - 1/6/2008 12:33:33 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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And I thought I was...................

Nevermind.

T

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