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Emotional Vulnerability - 12/23/2007 8:33:47 PM

Lovespets

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I can see how someone being in a PE or TPE makes somone emotionally vulnerable in some cases. To be a slave requires you to trust your mistress completely and put her before yourself. But I can also see where a bottom could try to be a top with demanding attention and some of the fantasy stuff subs come up with.. Plus I imagine some people get hurt by some Dommes who really don't care if they violate your trust or emotions and have a lack of respect. Has that happened to anyone on here, being abused by a Domme? Or how have things gone wrong???? Lovespets

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RE: Emotional Vulnerability - 12/23/2007 8:37:18 PM

Lovespets

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P.S. In fantasy stuff people come up with, I mean unrealistic ideas of what this is about.

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RE: Emotional Vulnerability - 12/23/2007 9:56:44 PM

Lovespets

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P.S.S. I am not talking about bad mouthing anyone. Just general things that come up in relationships.

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RE: Emotional Vulnerability - 12/23/2007 10:20:37 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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That isn't any different than what happens in any sort of relationship. WHenever you get into someone with another person, you have to use good judgement and be able to trust them to uphold whatever expectations they have agreed to uphold with you.

If they don't, or other stuff happens, then it can get bad.

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RE: Emotional Vulnerability - 12/23/2007 10:27:30 PM

MissMagnolia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lovespets

I can see how someone being in a PE or TPE makes somone emotionally vulnerable in some cases. To be a slave requires you to trust your mistress completely and put her before yourself. But I can also see where a bottom could try to be a top with demanding attention and some of the fantasy stuff subs come up with.. Plus I imagine some people get hurt by some Dommes who really don't care if they violate your trust or emotions and have a lack of respect. Has that happened to anyone on here, being abused by a Domme? Or how have things gone wrong???? Lovespets

You think only submissives have their trust, respect and emotions violated? That only they have been abused?

I assure you it can, and does, happen on ALL sides of the fence.

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RE: Emotional Vulnerability - 12/23/2007 10:43:58 PM

Lovespets

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Miss Magnolia, LOL, that wasn't very nice, the ass kissing part. I know it happens on all sides of the fence. No disrespect intended. But you would definately have to go the other way with me, I don't do the kissing, lol. Just looking for info, unless that is just your signature. Perhaps that is saying how I would feel if I were submissive, more vulnerable. I suppose thats why I am not.

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RE: Emotional Vulnerability - 12/23/2007 11:23:50 PM

MissMagnolia

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Anything below a line is a signature.

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RE: Emotional Vulnerability - 12/24/2007 2:48:16 AM

SlavesSoul

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You know, I'm very hesitant to use the word "abuse".

   So often I've seen submissives go into a relationship fully aware of certain expectations or orientations, with the thought that they will change that person (just like in the vanilla world). Poly situations come to mind.

   They want the relationship so much, that they fool themselves into believing what they want to believe. Then, when that person holds true to who they are, the sub cries to her friends about how she is so badly treated.

The thing is that any time you are involved in a relationship, you become emotionally vulnerable. Doesn't matter if it's a friendship or a love relationship, vanilla or kinky....and that goes for both people in it.

    You just have to pay attention to whats being said, and not said and take the time to really know someone before you decide to become vulnerable. Even after that, sometimes relationships just fail...it's emotionally damaging to both parties, and usually both are at fault iin some way.

If you are talking about someone who intentionally sets out to violate trust...that would be a different thing completely.

k

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RE: Emotional Vulnerability - 12/24/2007 5:02:45 AM

DesFIP

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It is your responsibility to know what healthy is for you. Your responsibility to state that first and foremost. And your responsibility to not engage with people who are not compatible.

Emotional sadism is unhealthy for me. But if I got involved with a sadist who like playing in that arena it would be my fault. Just as it would be my fault for getting involved with a golf player since I know I would resent him spending weekends on the course and I would resent being dragged out with him.

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RE: Emotional Vulnerability - 12/24/2007 8:44:27 AM

thetammyjo

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I'd say it is risky paradigm to suggest that emotional vulnerability only happens for the bottom/sub partner. I think it happens to the top/dom partner.

I'd say that being able to be fully ones self opens up that potential to be emotionally vulnerable and while that can be scary on the dom side of things (the one I know about) it can also be very empowering to know that can be the full you, get really close to someone, and still love ordering them about or doing SM just because you have that authority.

It then hurts like hell when someone does something to trash your heart. It really happened to me once and it took Fox years to earn my trust and vulnerability after that other person.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 12/24/2007 8:45:31 AM >

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RE: Emotional Vulnerability - 12/24/2007 11:32:16 AM

defiantbadgirl

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While there is always some degree of emotional risk involved, I have recently set up certain rules that work well for me.

1. I refuse to play with anyone who won't date me.

2. All play with someone I'm casually dating is non-sexual.

3. I only have sex when I'm in a monogamous relationship and that monogamy has to work both ways.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 12/24/2007 11:44:36 AM >

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