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It's A Wonderful Life - 12/25/2007 8:08:50 AM

juliaoceania

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One of my favorite movies of all time is It's A Wonderful Life. It always makes me think about the people I touch and who touch me. I suppose the message that resonates most strongly for me in that movie is that things happen for a reason, and we cannot always know that reason, so if we pulled on those threads in our lives that we might be ashamed of or regret the entire quilt comes apart...

Does anyone have a thread in their life like that? Something that when you think back on it you know that whatever it was that you did or happened to you was for the very best, even though at the time you thought that it was a tragedy?

Alternatively, do you ever wonder what would happen if you were never born?

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RE: It's A Wonderful Life - 12/25/2007 8:32:26 AM

Gardenista

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Absolutely! When my 1st husband left me ( with two kids still in diapers), that was one of the most painful times in my life. My life felt like the biggest cliche in the world... the husband leaving the older wifey for the young cute pretty one, lol. It took me about 2 years to pick up the pieces and move forward. Of course, I mention my wonderful husband often enough here, so I guess the rest of the story is history. My 1st did me an incredible favor by walking out. I would have died a slow death with him.

Your second question is a bit tougher for me to answer. It's a bit depressing, though, so fair warning. My mother reminded me all the time what her life would have been like if I hadn't been born. She flat-out admitted she didn't like being a mother. She could have finished college, she was too "intellectual" for motherhood, etc. Seriously, it took some therapy to realize my own self-worth. I never wonder about it, anymore.

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RE: It's A Wonderful Life - 12/25/2007 8:39:21 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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if i was never born ...hmmm ...then many events that directly/indirectly effected my life wouldn't have happened. as part of a group therapy session with my daughter and her counselor, we discussed how different our lives would be if she wasn't hit by a train ...would i still be divorced ...would she have a sister etc. i look it as everything has a time, place and reason which we may or never understand. she was hit by that train for a reason like i was put on this earth for a reason.

i do wish i could take back certain threads or change my responses however what's done is done ...what's said is said. i'm learning (though it's hard) to move on and not look back.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 12/25/2007 8:40:52 AM >

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RE: It's A Wonderful Life - 12/25/2007 8:50:06 AM

kdsub

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I have not had a life, changing for the better, tragedy but I participated in one.

I was on the upper Buffalo River one spring day kayaking in water that was beyond my skills. Not smart… it was in flood... the temperature was in the 50’s…and was alone. I had already flipped twice and I was wet…cold and 5 miles from the take. Facing me was a rapid full of root wads without a clear path. Like an idiot off I went…big mistake… halfway thru I kissed a rock and managed to shatter a tooth the nerve.

I dragged myself on a boulder and in pain watched my paddle floating out of site. What a mess… I was cussing my ignorance and sad but so a few heavenly beings. I was in so much pain from the bare nerve I could hardly think. I had no idea how I would control my kayak without a paddle and make it back to the takeout.

As I was setting there…and I admit, almost in tears… I look up to see an open canoe with an older woman and a man starting through the rapids. I knew they could not make it and sure enough they tipped just in front of me. The woman was still in the swamped canoe but floating backwards right into a root wad. The force of water pushed her head under water and trapped her in the canoe. The front of the canoe was just in reach from my bolder. I managed to pull it around to where the currant pulled it off the wad letting her face above the water. I pulled her to me and got her out of the water.

I looked for the man but could not find him… something told me to look down in the water hole and I saw a shadow I reached over the edge could barely touch it. I was the man caught in an undertow from a ledge. Again I pulled and he popped up gasping.

Things went from cussing god to thanking him in a flash. No matter how bad our useless my life may be at any point…I know I served a purpose that day and it validated my existence.
Butch

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RE: It's A Wonderful Life - 12/25/2007 8:50:29 AM

lusciouslips19

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Well, one thing I think of is my father. In spite of all his faults and dysfunctions and the typical sorts of abuses that was brought upon me later, he saved me. When I was five we were on a camping vacation at a place called Devils Lake in Wisconsin. I was in the lake and started drowning as onlookers just stared and did nothing. He dropped everything running into the water with his lit cigarette and saved me. Not only saved me but in a way that didnt scar me. I still love to swim and am unafraid in water. So regardless of anything else, he is and will always be my hero. Heros are only human and it is their humanness that gives them the ability to feel enough to impact your life.

happy 70th birthday to dad dec 29.

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RE: It's A Wonderful Life - 12/25/2007 8:51:15 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

Your second question is a bit tougher for me to answer. It's a bit depressing, though, so fair warning. My mother reminded me all the time what her life would have been like if I hadn't been born. She flat-out admitted she didn't like being a mother. She could have finished college, she was too "intellectual" for motherhood, etc. Seriously, it took some therapy to realize my own self-worth. I never wonder about it, anymore.

Perhaps your mom would have gotten in an accident and died had it not been for you....

Seriously, she does not know what would have happened had it not been for you.

There were times that I wondered what would life have been like had I married a better man and had his kids... but then I would not have the son I have who is a wonderful man. No way I would yank on that thread

If it were not for those experiences I may have never went into anthropology, I may never have decided that my commitment to graduate studies was important. I may never have actualized my life.

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: It's A Wonderful Life - 12/25/2007 8:53:39 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Well, one thing I think of is my father. In spite of all his faults and dysfunctions and the typical sorts of abuses that was brought upon me later, he saved me. When I was five we were on a camping vacation at a place called Devils Lake in Wisconsin. I was in the lake and started drowning as onlookers just stared and did nothing. He dropped everything running into the water with his lit cigarette and saved me. Not only saved me but in a way that didnt scar me. I still love to swim and am unafraid in water. So regardless of anything else, he is and will always be my hero. Heros are only human and it is their humanness that gives them the ability to feel enough to impact your life.

happy 70th birthday to dad dec 29.

Reminds me of the part in the movie where George saved his brother's life...

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

I look up to see an open canoe with an older woman and a man starting through the rapids. I knew they could not make it and sure enough they tipped just in front of me. The woman was still in the swamped canoe but floating backwards right into a root wad. The force of water pushed her head under water and trapped her in the canoe. The front of the canoe was just in reach from my bolder. I managed to pull it around to where the currant pulled it off the wad letting her face above the water. I pulled her to me and got her out of the water.

I looked for the man but could not find him… something told me to look down in the water hole and I saw a shadow I reached over the edge could barely touch it. I was the man caught in an undertow from a ledge. Again I pulled and he popped up gasping.

Things went from cussing god to thanking him in a flash. No matter how bad our useless my life may be at any point…I know I served a purpose that day and it validated my existence.

That was beautiful

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/25/2007 8:57:21 AM >

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: It's A Wonderful Life - 12/25/2007 9:01:05 AM

Gardenista

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Perhaps your mom would have gotten in an accident and died had it not been for you....

Seriously, she does not know what would have happened had it not been for you.

There were times that I wondered what would life have been like had I married a better man and had his kids... but then I would not have the son I have who is a wonderful man. No way I would yank on that thread

If it were not for those experiences I may have never went into anthropology, I may never have decided that my commitment to graduate studies was important. I may never have actualized my life.

LOL, I always tell people that I got the two very best parts of my ex-husband. =) There are plenty of events and threads I wouldn't change for anything. Not even the history with my mother, as stormy as it's been. Part of accepting who we are means reconciling with our less-then-perfect past.

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RE: It's A Wonderful Life - 12/25/2007 9:05:09 AM

lusciouslips19

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