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How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/25/2007 9:01:42 PM   
slyboots


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2006
Status: offline 		Since I've lost contact with my ex, the one who has turned me into the lifestyle,  I haven't met others who are into the lifestyle in my area. I want to ask for advice, make friend and take from how they dom their subs/slaves. I only ask this because I have experience a bit of a hard time with other doms on here who say I lack in age. That I can't be a dom because I am young and say that subs won't want a newbie dom.

Out of respect I wouldn't really want to go to a place where I'm going to get the same type of attitude. Are dungeons/clubs like this or are they a bit more newbie friendly?
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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/25/2007 9:09:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Single males have it the hardest in the scene- young ones have it even worse.

Best thing to do is find another female who is cute but not too terribly hot to go with you and check it out until you get to know others as a regular guy.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slyboots)
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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/25/2007 9:20:57 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Many organizations also include a special interest group called TNG...The Next Generation.  TNG is for those under 35 years old.  There you'd meet with those who are closer to your own age. 

(in reply to slyboots)
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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/25/2007 9:29:46 PM   
OneOldSoul


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slyboots

Since I've lost contact with my ex, the one who has turned me into the lifestyle,  I haven't met others who are into the lifestyle in my area. I want to ask for advice, make friend and take from how they dom their subs/slaves. I only ask this because I have experience a bit of a hard time with other doms on here who say I lack in age. That I can't be a dom because I am young and say that subs won't want a newbie dom.

Out of respect I wouldn't really want to go to a place where I'm going to get the same type of attitude. Are dungeons/clubs like this or are they a bit more newbie friendly?


Its that same old you have to be 40 to spank line.  When you get to be 40 and are experienced they will tell you you are to old and jaded.

Go where you can and put up with the attitude.  Some subs will think your to old some won't.  Put in as much time at the demonstrations as you can.  You will learn alot at those.  Also start buying books.

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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/25/2007 9:42:24 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Single males have it the hardest in the scene- young ones have it even worse.



I agree.. I would suggest that you walk quietly... and let admirable behaviors and positive interactions  with others be the building blocks to your future interactions with others.  Be patient.. do not go for the quick road.... slow and steady will be best in the long-term.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 12/25/2007 9:43:50 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/25/2007 9:42:33 PM   
slyboots


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2006
Status: offline 		What books do you recommend that are helpful for a young guy like myself?

Also could someone from the valley or ventura recommend a club to go to? Like I said I'm pretty new to the life and don't know many people who are in it.

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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/26/2007 2:43:21 AM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slyboots
Are dungeons/clubs like this or are they a bit more newbie friendly?


Being a newbie has nothing to do with age, it has to do with experience. While I was 26, 27 and organising play parties, I've seen dozens of 40yo's scared to enter for the first time and dozens of people in their twenties who already had quite a bit of knowledge and experience. So I'm not hung up on age.

Some dungeons may not be friendly towards younger people. It's their loss. Showing that you are a responsible guy and not a teenage moron often helps a lot. If it doesn't, move on and find yourself a decent TNG group or friendlier dungeon.

I've seen remarkebly few really experienced Doms who were disrepectful towards and unwilling to help younger people.

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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/26/2007 3:22:32 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I would suggest using the link below to research what is available in your area.  If one munch doesn't suit you, another might be just what you are looking for.  Young men are often looked upon suspiciously...and for good reason.  Some of my friends who organize munches see young men show up looking for what the men think is an easy piece of a**.  When they don't find that at the first munch they never return.  Only by attending munch for a few times are these young men then invited to a private play party or demonstration.  

To locate local munches and organizations near you....

Go to www.drkdesyre.com/
 
Click on HERE
Click on Meeting People
Click on Organizations
Then click on your state

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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/26/2007 7:36:44 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		I really enjoyed my time at Threshold.  (Admittedly, I am a lady, rather than a man, but people seemed respectful of me as a young domme)  It seemed to be a mix of old and young folks.  It is a members place, but they have events that are open to non-members and the next orientation is Jan 6th (and I will likely be there, since I haven't joined yet).  You could check out their website www.threshold.org to see if it looks interesting.  They are in North Hollywood, so that sould be the area you are looking for.  Lair de Sade is also in North Hollywood, but I have only been to events put on by other groups there, so I can't say what the overall attitude is.

You could also try some of the local email lists to find local eventsand groups.  Some of those are very helpful.

Blessings!

(in reply to peppermint)
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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/26/2007 8:18:50 AM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		A common problem, especially for those young males who are definately Domanant.
There are some groups that cater only toward younger age groups for that reason. We have one locally called "whippersnappers" so yes they exist.

_____________________________

See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/26/2007 9:05:06 AM   
BlackWolfSwitch


Posts: 40
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I will have to agree with most here on this, for at least the simple fact that I myself am younger than the majority here. I may be a switch, but being a Dominant is what I normally lean towards. (minus the fact I'm owned, lol)
 
Being 23, I've been told the same things. "You're too young." "You're inexperienced." Blah Blah Blah, and on and on it goes. Tell ya what though. Here's the measure of what experience is. 50% is time spent, 25% is patience, 25% is training.. and another 100% goes to common sense.
 
We've all heard it ... the younger people backing themselves with things like this.. "Hi, I'm (insert name here), and I'm 19 with 5 years experience in BDSM..." and that's where you hear the screeching of rubber tires, right? Or if they're say, my age... and have 5-6 years experience. There will always be that sound off in the distance of people laughing at you. They'll be like, "Yea? Well I'm (random older age) and have three times that many years in the lifestyle!" and automatically they're better than you for it. They might be, but hey... to each their own, right?
 
Either way, you as a newbie will be tested time and time again on your patience, your point of view, and your determination to be what you want to be... especially in this lifestyle.
Find your place, and work at it tirelessly. Some day you'll have the room to say you're a dominant worth serving. (depending on the person hearing it, lol)
 
Another endless PoV, and two cents from,
The Wolf

_____________________________

"Command of the collar, or submission to wear it. It's your choice. My choice is to know what I like from both."

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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/26/2007 9:46:26 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear slyboots, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I do agree with the postings of other thus far.
 
Have you tried Google searc BDSM California and see what is close to your area?
 
I would also suggest looking into the "The Next Generation" groups; they do have good intentions in teaching things to those who are coming into the scene regardless of age.
 
I would also go to clubs/dungeon parties and go there to observe, pick up ideas as well as to network and find someone who would be willing to show you things, the 'how to' and 'don't ever do's.
 
How successful anybody is in the scene/lifestyle is in a huge part --their attitude and behavior.
Teaching someone, from a senior/seasoned Dominant's point of view -- has to be worth the investment of my time, talents and efforts.  What I learned first hand, putting the time and mileage in --its not suppose to be an expectation or 'entitlement' that we (in general) share our life, talents and or skills.  It is not a demand or a command that should be, where seasoned Dominants 'share.'  I suppose its due to the times--its like McDomalds or Burger King's drive through.. have it your way, conveniently given and no hard work. 
 
Respectful approaches and inquires go a huge, huge way.  Teachers share because we love to share--not because we have to share.   A lot of individuals I have mentored and or taught, have been those respectful approaches and being a good person.  Helping others stands out as well.
So, just helping someone carry in the gear/toy bags will often invite conversation, questions and them investing in you as a person.  I can't count how many beginnings started by asking--what is in 'that' toy bag --pointing to one of five I have.
 
I also highly recommend listening and paying attention to those slaves/submissives you meet face to face in clubs/dungeons and or private parties and or support and education groups.  Being subjected to impacts they have the 'beyond the text' experience and know which TOP/Dominant has good skills and not. 
 
And, please do not take this as being cruel --how you appear, even in a photograph on a profile will influence how people take you--serious, not serious or a definate 'maybe.'  One, if inviting interest as well as to be invested in--you must package yourself as to want people to invest in you and the journey into becoming a Dominant.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/26/2007 10:42:05 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slyboots

...Also could someone from the valley or ventura recommend a club to go to? Like I said I'm pretty new to the life and don't know many people who are in it.


In North Hollywood:
http://www.lairdesade.com/home.htm
follow the instructions on the website to request an invitation--it is a member's only club

By LAX:
http://passivearts.com/welcome.php

passive arts has quite a few parties with a distinctively younger crowd in attendance, and the entry fee is always nominal.
good luck!!

(in reply to slyboots)
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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/26/2007 10:57:01 AM   
slyboots


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/16/2006
Status: offline 		Well thank you all for all the help and knowledge you have shared with me. I really do appreciate the help :)

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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/26/2007 11:23:15 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slyboots

Out of respect I wouldn't really want to go to a place where I'm going to get the same type of attitude. Are dungeons/clubs like this or are they a bit more newbie friendly?


Well, our experience with them is that they take our dungeon fee, show us around, ask if we need anything and leave us to play or socialize as we like.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: How do club/dungeons take young dom? - 12/26/2007 11:49:32 AM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slyboots

Since I've lost contact with my ex, the one who has turned me into the lifestyle,  I haven't met others who are into the lifestyle in my area. I want to ask for advice, make friend and take from how they dom their subs/slaves. I only ask this because I have experience a bit of a hard time with other doms on here who say I lack in age. That I can't be a dom because I am young and say that subs won't want a newbie dom.

Out of respect I wouldn't really want to go to a place where I'm going to get the same type of attitude. Are dungeons/clubs like this or are they a bit more newbie friendly?


In my area (Denver), the young Doms are welcomed to any facility.... as long as they are at least 21.  Those age limits apply to both dungeons.  However, if a young Dom comes in and shows manners, he is greeted and treated well.  The only ones who are not welcomed in are the ones who walk in at the age of 21 and introduce themselves as "Master and Lord of All".  Throwing the "Master" title in front of their names immediately reduces the respect they will get.  If they come to the dungeon... introduce themselves... and say they are there to learn and make friends, they are made to feel very welcome.
 
BTW... the "I am Master/Mistress So-and-so" applies even to new older Doms of both genders.  Most of the experienced Tops/Doms/Dommes, etc., etc., are more than willing to show a new person techniques, and engage in very informative discussions and conversations about all that we do.  We also offer demos and classes to anyone interested in learning.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

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