Is it really submission?

Is it really submission? (Full Version)

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parttimehotty -> Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 10:57:10 AM)
Hello All: i was going to post this in the Gen. BDSM area, but thought since it's a submission questions, who better to ask that a submissive/or slave? Is the feeling to submit a continuous feeling w/you? i mean, if by some unforeseen circumstance, you/your Dom split, would you immediately feel the need to submit again to another? i question my submissiveness because i'm not sure if i could submit to another. i've tried and i just don't enjoy it as much. When i'm w/my Trainer/Master, i just want to fall to my knees. When we split, i found another Dom on this site, but i just didn't want to submit to him. i call Him my "Trainer" because W/we've gone on so many rollercoaster rides w/my submissiveness, unable to let go of my vanilla temper at times, that it's not clear what my roll is at this time. i know He's watching/waiting to see how i do so at this time, i just refer to Him as my Trainer/Master (kinda like a training bra ;). i do have a strong urge to serve Him/make Him happy, but is it because i really do want to serve, or i'm just happy about having a man i feel safe with/have a good sessions with also?

DesFIP -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 11:06:32 AM)
Categorically no. I'm submissive to one. Prior to meeting him I had lived nearly 50 years without ever submitting. I am judgmental as all get out, and have a laundry list as long as my arm in qualities I require in a partner. Until I met someone who had all those qualities I would never have trusted anyone with this level of control. I doubt, when/if this relationship ends, that I would ever submit again. I don't have another 50 years to look.

sexyred1 -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 11:10:45 AM)
No, I would not just submit to anyone. I would only feel submissive to someone I was really into. However if you are asking if the feeling of wanting to submit is always there, yes, it is. It does not go away because you do or do not have a partner. It is part of who you are. Your decision to act upon it, is another story.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 11:12:51 AM)
this slave will admit to being in the minority who do not "feel" submissive, submission or ownership. at all. this slave doesn't relate to it as a "feeling", no one person "inspires" it over another, for this slave. it would be like asking what freckles or green eyes "feels" like---there is nothing to compare it to, as it is all this slave has ever known. this slave knows what dominant or dominance feels like when she tries to express it, because it is a role, opposite to that of her nature, that she is having to take on, an act for a set period of time, and it feels very uncomfortable. reacting submissively, not dominantly, is this slave's nature. if, by some mean twist of the fates we do not die together, this slave is unsure when or if ever she would seek out another, specific individual to serve...but she can definitely say she wouldn't be in the "looking for the One that will inspire my submission" camp.

Corve -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 11:18:37 AM)
A submissive nature does not mean that you must offer yourself to any dominant. There are issues like trust, safety, and feeling comfortable in living the gift of a submissive servant. But I might suggest you cever compete or challenege a dominant even if you do not see the dom desireable. Always best to show respect and humility in a sub life.

pixelslave -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 11:25:09 AM)
parttimehotty, I can relate to your situation having very recently ended a relationship myself with a Domme. It took time to build that relationship as we got to know each other as friends first, began to flirt, first with double-entendre's and inuendo then later with more overt come-ons, finally the D/s dynamic developed from there as we got more open and honest with each other and began to negotiate; getting more specific about our respective needs, desires, etc. I can't submit to just anyone, it has to be to someone that I care about and have an emotional attachment to that's at least developing. The stronger my feelings for someone are, the more submissive I feel toward them. As my submissive feelings grow for them, so do my other feelings as well. It's an endless circle of sorts for me. It's the primary reason I don't play casually, even though the desire to submit to a woman or experience the sensations of play from being dominated is alway someplace in the back of my mind and exists deep at the core of my being; a constant yearning within me so to speak. [&:] Perhaps the problem with the new Dom you speak of is that you haven't established a relationship yet on the many different levels you need to in order to feel submissive toward him in the manner you seek and *need* in order to feel complete as well as satisfied with that relationship. I hope you find this post of help to you. [:D] - pixel

Leatherist -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 11:30:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: parttimehotty Hello All: i was going to post this in the Gen. BDSM area, but thought since it's a submission questions, who better to ask that a submissive/or slave? Is the feeling to submit a continuous feeling w/you? i mean, if by some unforeseen circumstance, you/your Dom split, would you immediately feel the need to submit again to another? i question my submissiveness because i'm not sure if i could submit to another. i've tried and i just don't enjoy it as much. When i'm w/my Trainer/Master, i just want to fall to my knees. When we split, i found another Dom on this site, but i just didn't want to submit to him. i call Him my "Trainer" because W/we've gone on so many rollercoaster rides w/my submissiveness, unable to let go of my vanilla temper at times, that it's not clear what my roll is at this time. i know He's watching/waiting to see how i do so at this time, i just refer to Him as my Trainer/Master (kinda like a training bra ;). i do have a strong urge to serve Him/make Him happy, but is it because i really do want to serve, or i'm just happy about having a man i feel safe with/have a good sessions with also? My personal experiences with subs taught me this. Women tend to be nesters, and to seek security. They will only submit if they see a real future with someone.

juliaoceania -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 11:35:49 AM)
quote: Is the feeling to submit a continuous feeling w/you? i mean, if by some unforeseen circumstance, you/your Dom split, would you immediately feel the need to submit again to another? i question my submissiveness because i'm not sure if i could submit to another. i've tried and i just don't enjoy it as much. When i'm w/my Trainer/Master, i just want to fall to my knees. When we split, i found another Dom on this site, but i just didn't want to submit to him. The first dominant I was with I rebounded rather quickly after we parted ways, and sought a dominant two months later. Although I did not expect to be able to find somene else to submit to right away, the first night I posted my ad on alt, my Daddy emailed me, a couple of months later we were involved with each other... so about 5 months after I quit talking to my former dominant I found someone new. The desire to find a dominant that I could bond with, and the willingness to trust and believe in a new partner was probably the impetus behind my ability to come back rather quickly. Last summer my Daddy and I parted ways because we did not know how to go forward with certain aspects of our relationship, and it literally broke my heart. I was not open to being submissive to anyone new, and indeed I felt as though I would probably only seek vanilla men. I am a masochist, and i wanted to experience more in that direction, but the desire to submit was completely gone. That changed when Daddy and I worked our issues out... I now say that I am only submissive feeling in relation to the individual, not oriented this way in all aspects of my life. I am glad this is so, and I accept myself the way that I am... submissive to only One is fine with me. Truly I do not think I could feel submissve to another... quote: i call Him my "Trainer" because W/we've gone on so many rollercoaster rides w/my submissiveness, unable to let go of my vanilla temper at times, that it's not clear what my roll is at this time. i know He's watching/waiting to see how i do so at this time, i just refer to Him as my Trainer/Master (kinda like a training bra ;). i do have a strong urge to serve Him/make Him happy, but is it because i really do want to serve, or i'm just happy about having a man i feel safe with/have a good sessions with also? These statements remind me of the first dominant I was involved with, and I would really look up sub frenzy and see if it fits with what you are experiencing emotionally. It can be quite confusing to separate one's desire to submit to anyone and a person you are involved with.. it might not be him at all that is causing these feelings, but your decision to embrace your submissive side... I got the two confused with my first dom... it is rather easy to do.

parttimehotty -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 11:49:24 AM)
Oh wow! Thank you, Julia! i immediately looked up "sub frenzy" and found this site....http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/Lifestyle/sub_frenzies.htm It was like looking in a mirror! i especially appreciated the right to address a Dom as Master/or Daddy. Due to my up/down rides during my training, i unfortunately lost that privelege and now address Him as Sir, until otherwise notified <eyes down in shame>

fit2pleaseu -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 12:39:28 PM)
I fell submission takes a few things to work properly..trust,understanding,compatibility,and then the D/s desires on both sides of course. I dont think i can achieve this with just anyone but i do think it is possible with more than one person if the above feelings are in place.

sexyred1 -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 1:01:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist quote: ORIGINAL: parttimehotty My personal experiences with subs taught me this. Women tend to be nesters, and to seek security. They will only submit if they see a real future with someone. I don't necessarily agree with this statement. Not all women are nesters and some submit simply because they are feeling submissive to a particular dominant, not because of a future with someone. Sometimes, you can just have extraordinary chemistry with someone and let it happen, regardless of future commitments.

flowspen -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 2:23:59 PM)
Transitioning away from ones Dominant is difficult and tricky. I feel I always have that burning inside that says submit submit submit but like you said, I can't just submit to any Mistress. Some I wanted too but something wasn't there that would trigger me to submit. I think like any relationship after a break up, time is needed for healing for refocusing on self so that another can enter your life again. In the vanilla world, guys during this period date like crazy.. rebounding from one person to another. Is it like that in BDSM? I am not sure, but I know when time is taking to heal, one can see things more clearly. I feel some of your questions are real personal questoins that only you can answer for yourself. So I ask you, Do you want to serve this Master? or is he someone you feel safe with and enjoy having sessions with? If you look within yourself and if your honest you will see the answer to that question as clear as a summer blue sky.

juliaoceania -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 2:35:11 PM)
quote: It was like looking in a mirror! i especially appreciated the right to address a Dom as Master/or Daddy. Due to my up/down rides during my training, i unfortunately lost that privelege and now address Him as Sir, until otherwise notified You are welcome... Edited because I do not want others to follow my example...lol

laurell3 -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 2:41:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 No, I would not just submit to anyone. I would only feel submissive to someone I was really into. However if you are asking if the feeling of wanting to submit is always there, yes, it is. It does not go away because you do or do not have a partner. It is part of who you are. Your decision to act upon it, is another story. Agreed. The closer I am to my partner, the more they are able to support, nuture and build our relationship and me the more I want to submit. It's quite possible OP that this trainer just isn't the guy for you to trust and feel comfortable with or you are not yet over the prior relationship and everyone will suffer by comparison.

trueshadow -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 3:13:47 PM)
Since I was born a slave, yes, slavery is my permanent condition. If I am without a Superior to submit to, I'm pretty miserable. I enjoy dating, but I am not fulfilled by vanilla relationships. Asking a girl you don't know well to spank you is very difficult. I suppose I end up on Collarme at lot more than if I'm serving my Goddess.

Daddysredhead -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 5:14:44 PM)
For me, submission is not something that just came naturally. I wanted to find a man who I had enough respect for and held in high esteem that I could defer to, but never really found that until I met Daddy. Up to that point, I was pretty controlling in all my relationships. However, it just got exhausting. I love the dynamic we have and it just feels right, therefore I submit to him. In many other areas of my life, I am the "boss." Being submissive to him kind of evens things out and I am able to relax my drive to control and let myself lose control with him. I don't feel submissive to other dominant people I know for the most part, although I do respect them for the mere fact that they are just nice folks. Just my 2 cents. ~ DRH

slaveluci -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 5:42:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: parttimehotty Is the feeling to submit a continuous feeling w/you? Not at all. I only submit completely to Him. I am not one who feels the desire to submit to all dominants/men at all times (or even many of them). quote: i mean, if by some unforeseen circumstance, you/your Dom split, would you immediately feel the need to submit again to another? Nope. I doubt I would ever feel the need to submit to another. And, in the instance I DID feel it, I seriously doubt I'd ever do it. quote: i question my submissiveness because i'm not sure if i could submit to another. i've tried and i just don't enjoy it as much. When i'm w/my Trainer/Master, i just want to fall to my knees Same here. Don't question your submissiveness because of this, parttimehotty. Just because you don't feel submissive to everyone doesn't mean you aren't the ultimate submissive to your One[;)]. Don't buy into that at all................luci

DesFIP -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 5:51:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Corve But I might suggest you cever compete or challenege a dominant even if you do not see the dom desireable. Always best to show respect and humility in a sub life. Except for those of us who feel that is entirely the wrong way to live. If some self proclaimed dominant is so insecure that he requires everyone he meets be respectful and humble and always acknowledges his 'greatness', then I really suggest he gets into therapy asap. My submission is for one and one only. If I handed it out to every online wanker then it wouldn't be worth jackshit. Plus there's the fact that his rules are such that I do not submit to anyone else. So following your rules would mean breaking his, and his are a lot more important to me because I do respect him and not you.

Kalista07 -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 5:52:17 PM)
Op, i'm really seriously not trying to be mean or a bitch or anything of that nature...However, i am a little confused because (unless i'm misreading something, which is entirely possible) this doesn't match Your previous post here. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1420406/mpage_1/tm.htm. Could just be me though, Kali

girlygurl -> RE: Is it really submission? (12/26/2007 6:03:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: parttimehotty Is the feeling to submit a continuous feeling w/you? i mean, if by some unforeseen circumstance, you/your Dom split, would you immediately feel the need to submit again to another? No. I can't imagine submitting to another at this point in my life. I am my Sir's and that's it. "IF" and I say that with a cringe...... in the future my life were no longer to involve my Sir... it would take a very long time for me to submit to another. He's spoiled me beyond my wildest dreams.... I don't believe another Dom could be as wonderful. Besides, I'm in love with my Sir, and falling in love doesn't come easy for me. girly

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