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Loosing Calories ~ For Males - 8/21/2005 12:28:18 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now, after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent...................... 12 Calories
Without her consent............... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand............................ 12 Calories
With your teeth........................... 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A PRESERVATIVE:
With an erection......................... 6 Calories
Without an erection................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot......... .. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary.............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up....................... 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow.......................... 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier.................. 912 Calories

ORGASMING:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately............... 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......
816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years old.................. 36 Calories
30-39 years......................... 80 Calories
40-49 years......................... 124 Calories
50-59 years......................... 972 Calories
60-69 years......................... 2916 Calories
70 and over......................... Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories

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Iron Bear

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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RE: Loosing Calories ~ For Males - 8/21/2005 3:14:40 AM

CalliopePurple

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Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
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I would just like to add that what you call "preservative" there (I think it's an Australian thing) is better known as a "condom" to us Americans and I'm not sure what the proper British term is. Anyone wanna pipe up to inform me?

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hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
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RE: Loosing Calories ~ For Males - 8/21/2005 6:13:01 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Aussie.... "Presertive", "Condom", "Rubber", "Franger"

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Loosing Calories ~ For Males - 8/22/2005 12:54:28 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
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LOL! That cracked me up!

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"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
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RE: Loosing Calories ~ For Males - 8/23/2005 10:48:43 AM

pet4mymaster

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Joined: 7/2/2005
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gotta tell you it put a smile opn my face and just about everyone else i showed it too as well.....that was hilarious....couple other great calorie burners for you:

Getting out of the room:
through the front door................85 calories
through the back door quietly......275 calories
through the window...................1259 calories
through a second story window....2598 calories
through a second story window being chased by boyfirend........3598
through a second story window being chased by her mom.........4500
through a second story window being chased by her husband....4898
through a second story window being chased by her dad...........6578
through a second story window being chased by her dad w/ a shot gun.......1975890

want a real work out......try running for her dad while he has a shot gun with her mom right behind him and the boyfriend runnning like hell to get you before anybody else dose

LOL

Kisess and Licks---Pet

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RE: Loosing Calories ~ For Males - 8/26/2005 9:53:31 AM

londonplaything