RE: why are you submissive? (Full Version)

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NaiveTempest -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 3:39:52 PM)

I do not think one can be trained to be submissive. One could be taught submissive acts, but if the desire to submit is not natural to them then even if they do those submissive acts they are not truly submissives.



rubberpet -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 3:44:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartsemerge

What are your reasons for being submissive?  were you born a submissive or have you been trained to be one? and what ever made you want to give in?


Because Mistress tells me I have to! [:D]

Seriously though, it's just who I am.  I get so much pleasure out of catering to Mistress's every whim.  It makes me feel wanted and needed.  Hearing Her tell me that I make Her happy or proud to own me always makes my heart skip a beat.  Deep down inside, I know I need to submit and be under the control of the right woman.  I have found that woman and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

I believe all submissives are born that way.  Deep inside, there is something fulfilling about being under someone's control.  Some know that is what they yearn to be.  Some are unsure about it and are afraid to be considered weak.  Others are unsure how to bring the desires to reality.  If you are new to things, just take them slowly.  Don't rush into anything and don't let anyone tell you that you have to do things a certain way.  This life is full of diversity and being able to customize things to best fit you and your partner.



heartsemerge -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 3:58:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartsemerge

What are your reasons for being submissive?  were you born a submissive or have you been trained to be one? and what ever made you want to give in?




Some know that is what they yearn to be.  Some are unsure about it and are afraid to be considered weak. 


That would be me. I am just not sure how to get over that fear? perhaps it is just something I need to come to terms with and just let go.

Thank you all for your feedback.



lronitulstahp -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 4:16:43 PM)

Acceptance is the key. When you accept your nature, and don't fear it, but find strength in it you become a wonder to behold.  Being a submissive isn't about being weak.  It takes so much fortitude to be in service to another.  To be the most like "yourself" when giving of yourself.  It's not for everyone...but if it is your calling to have the heart of a submissive, you will feel the tug gently at first, stronger over time, and overwhelmingly, should you persist in resisting it.



KyttynTheMynx -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 4:25:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartsemerge

What are your reasons for being submissive? 
Because I can. 

were you born a submissive or have you been trained to be one?
I was born with this, more or less.  I honestly think that if I had to be trained to be this way, I would just give up.  Its natural, its me, its comfy, like a pair of jeans, to me.
and what ever made you want to give in?  Its all a whirl wind.  I dont remember much about the reasoning, or why I did, but I did, and I havent looked back yet.



BBWnNC72 -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 4:32:59 PM)

i dont really know how to answer this except to just say that i know what i feel inside and i love it. it is who i am.



lalbobbilynn -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 5:09:17 PM)

Hearts ......
i just skimmed Your profile, and one thing caught my eye ........ Your age. That is NOT to say that You are not aware of who You are ..... You seem rather insync, that aside ...... understand this darlin' ... with age cums wisdom ...... yes, well ..... USUALLY!!!
Who You are at 21 is not who You shall be at 31, nor 41 ..... is NOT easy to be on either side of a flogger/cane/crop/whip. There are struggles on both ends of this spectrum darlin ...... in being a Dom/me or a sub/slave .... and we are all evolving creatures.
i worked with abused and neglected animals dear Heart, and they so mirror humans. i could quite possibly train a dog to tolerate a cat, yet if given the chance, said dog would just as soon eat that lil pussy as let that lil fur ball get an upper paw on Him!!! Now there are some dogs who take heed to the swat of Miss Puss n' Boots from the jump off ...... so You can teach submission, yet it will never be as beloved as one who simply is ...... submissive. Ohhhhhh goodness, i am losing myself here .........
Dear Heart ......... be still ....... listen to the the deep seeded rhythm within You ...... what is Your natural desire ..... Your most centered point??? Is it to Dominate, or to be dominated ...... or possibly both???
Give Yourself time ..... You are a work in progress ....... ever changing.
Lastly Dear Heart ....... You asked about giving in ......... when i submitted to my Sir, was on NO level like being married for seventeen yrs (giving in)........ it was by far much more diffcult to submit myself totally to my Sir ..... and with each passing day, i learn something new in the abyss known as me as a direct result of my Sir ...... and that too is not always an easy road to hoe!!!
Submit to another if You are so inclined ......... never, ever give in to any but Yourself.
Respectfully~
b.~



boywannabe -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 5:20:08 PM)

I like being submissive to my mistress... Boundaries are set and my mistress acknowledges the boundaries. It gives me a sense of satisfaction of fulfilling my mistress.



trueshadow -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 8:21:49 PM)

I was born a slave to the Dominant Female.  My earliest memories involve serving my Superior.  I've spent my life seeking to serve, and it (sadly) hasn't been easy to find a Domme who would accept me as a slave.  There are just too many male slaves and a dearth of Dommes.



Violetta01 -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 9:41:22 PM)

Growing up I was trained by my parents to be anything but submissive. Complete independence and a highly competitive spirit were taught to be the best weapons for succeess in life. And there is truth in that. Maybe that is why I am now submissive, but only when the chemistry is right. I cannot just randomly surrender or submit to one and all. So if you havent had the experience yet, maybe you just haven't found the right person who inspires you. Why do I enjoy it ? Because I can finally just be myself and trust that my devotion wont be used against me. Once in that place, the love just flows out of me. I dont think you can be trained to be submissive. You can be trained to serve and perform certain duties, but not to be submissive in your heart. That has to come from you.



petdave -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/27/2007 9:53:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartsemerge

What are your reasons for being submissive? 


Strongest contender at the moment is "god with a twisted sense of humor".

quote:


were you born a submissive or have you been trained to be one?


i've been trained, influenced, encouraged, coerced, and rewarded for being everything BUT submissive.

quote:


and what ever made you want to give in?


Strike "want to". Front runners are the ever-popular "god with a twisted sense of humor", "chemical imbalance", and (losing ground with my relentless aging) "to make people pay attention to me by being different"



velvetSurrender -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/28/2007 1:51:07 AM)

it is a small precious stone ,
it is a gift ,
a path
a breath you need to hold
it is who i am
it is not because i am weak
it is not because i am selfless
it is becasuse i love ,
that i give my all to one,
who will hold this gift jewel close to his heart
this isnt a game
it isnt an expereience
it is who i am at the centre of my soul..
i give ..
in giving i recieve so much more,,,
i feel no shame in laying my inner self to someone i adore
its in his trust i know my soul will never be harmed......
In saying this a journey must be tread ..........
a few cuts alone the way .......
my endurance........
will be.....
one day rewarded............ 



XEE -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/28/2007 6:23:44 AM)

Hello
would you agree with this , to bring the mind into sharp focus and to make it so alert so it can immediately intuit truth, which is everywhere, the mind must be emanicipated from old habits, prejudices,restrictive though process,and even ordinary thought itself , then once this is achieved then training and understand a submissive or a slave is better made possible
may i ask you your thoughts  upon that ?
XEE



parttimehotty -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/28/2007 6:30:41 AM)

i can't say for sure that i am 100% sub, i'm still "testing the waters" but when i was introduced to this lifestyle in Oct "06, it just seemed natural to me. In my "vanilla" time, i've always enjoyed making my partner happy, serving him both in/out of the bedroom but to the extreme that i'm currently exploring.....hmmmm, not sure, that's why i'm in the testing phase :)  Now, the kink side of being a submissive, that's very new to me. i'm thoroughly enjoying finding out how down/dirty i can actually become w/o being judged in a negative manner.  The nastier i am, the more W/we both enjoy my new found kink and it encourages me to explore my submissive side on the next level.  Wish me luck!!



heartsemerge -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/28/2007 7:02:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: XEE

Hello
would you agree with this , to bring the mind into sharp focus and to make it so alert so it can immediately intuit truth, which is everywhere, the mind must be emanicipated from old habits, prejudices,restrictive though process,and even ordinary thought itself , then once this is achieved then training and understand a submissive or a slave is better made possible
may i ask you your thoughts  upon that ?
XEE


I would have you absolutley agree with you. This is why at this current point in my life, i am attempting to break old habits and old ways of thinking. I am trying to evolve.



sunshinemiss -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/28/2007 7:23:04 AM)

ORIGINAL: laurell3
[/quote]

Without getting into the whole prior thread posted by your partner previously which alleged several rather significant health issues for you, I think what you suggest about balance in overall life is where you need to begin.  I'm not sure anyone can make any relationship work without a strong sense of self and overall balance in life and if what he said was true, you need to get a handle on that before you can move forward and integrate someone else in your life.  You're not alone, there are many here that struggle with mental health and/or physical issues and every single one of us has limitations. 

When you feel like that is met, I think you need to find someone that is realistic about your limitations and who you are as a person.  The fact that you have limitations does not mean you are not submissive, it means that you are human.  Finding someone that nutures the part of you that desires to please them and accepts you as a complete human being with limitations and advantages and works with you to overcome those limitations instead of attempting to make you someone you are not, will make a huge difference.
[/quote]

listen to this, heartsemerge... She's right on the money. 

peace.



wldflwr -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/28/2007 6:49:50 PM)

I have to say, I do feel I was born submissive. It was something I was only marginally aware of as a child, and as I got older and explored myself and my sexuality, I realized that D/s was for me. However, like most, I was brought up to be in control of my life, be strong...and be me. This is me, and for a long time I denied it for fear. Fear that I might be outcast, ridiculed, harmed, perceived as so many things that I don't consider myself to be.

Finally I realized that being submissive IS being in control. There are responsibilities on both sides of that cracking whip. A Dom/me is responsible for a sub's well being and guidance to become what the sub ultimately wants to be. But it is the sub who sets the limits. It is the sub to decide what is best for their well being, and in communicating those needs, they guide their Dom/me as well. It's like sitting down with a financial planner and saying "my goal is to retire when i'm 45. this is what i have to work with. you're in charge, help me get there." You're putting your needs in someone else's hands. Someone you trust to help you achieve your goals. It's up to you to make sure that person is qualified and NEVER settle for someone who doesn't have your best interests at heart. If your financial planner didn't show any evidence of meeting your goals (read: growth), you'd find another planner, wouldn't you? Similarly, a Dom/me helps you grow as a person, teaching you how to be the submissive you really want to be inside. Of course, that requires that you follow the guidance set before you, and that requires as much self-discipline as any discipline a Dom/me can provide.

I derive strength and pride from knowing what I want, who I am, and what I need to survive. That applies to my everyday life as well as my submissive life. I AM still in control. I AM submissive. These two are not mutually exclusive. In the end, I CHOOSE to give up my control of things in exchange for the FREEDOM of being myself and growing into who I want to be. I no longer feel weak or outcast. I know I am strong because I am submissive.

My joy comes from serving another, which is not always an easy road. I have learned self-discipline. I am better able to control any outbursts I may feel surfacing because of a knee-jerk reaction to fear. This is not a weakness, this is a strength. As long as you recognize, beyond fear, the difference between when you're in a damaging situation and when you're just experiencing emotional and psychological challenges, then there's no reason you shouldn't be proud to be submissive.





flowspen -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/28/2007 10:26:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartsemerge

What are your reasons for being submissive?  were you born a submissive or have you been trained to be one? and what ever made you want to give in?


I dont know if I was born a submissive.. I know certain experiences from the age of five on helped me find my way to submission.  At first it was all innocent since I was too young to know about D/s, Sex or anything.  So I guess I could say it was natural but yet those experiences are vivid as if they were yesterday in my mind.  When I got older they went from being innocent to more of exploring with knowledge that I was different than other guys around me.  Again it was the experiences with females who seemed to naturally dominate me that helped me along on this journey.  There were even a mother and daughter who topped me before I started high school.  The mother saw the sub in me, so was that taught or was I born with it?  Anyway it was the first Mistress who tied all the lose ends together for me and who accepted me as normal, she was the first to hear me say I am submissive to you and she was the first I served out of my free will.  The earlier experiences were an adventure to a great end I guess.  This may not answer your question but how can I answer that for when I was born I wasn't cognitive enough to know that I was even alive not to mention a submissive or not.

What made me give in too it... Oh from the very first experience until now it was like a spiritual journal, it just felt right and it felt good so I didn't give in to it, I became it. 



ahmeenah -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/28/2007 10:39:56 PM)

girl believes she was always submissive..with her ex who isnt in the lifestyle and even finds the lifestyle itself deplorable..she submitted to him alot...she just thought that she was gullible and easily stepped on..now she knows what she is and is proud of it..girl finds being submissive to be her nature..it just is becoming of her..she adores the fact that she can make SomeOne so happy with what she is..



SwitchItaly -> RE: why are you submissive? (12/29/2007 4:10:07 PM)

I started to FEEL a sub when i was 14 years old with my first boyfriend. (I'm bisexual).
He loved me so much he was 14 yo like me. I odnt know if he knew at that ge about bdsm and i didnt know..
I felt immidiatly the sensation of "freedom", a big exciting to be a sub for him.
Than i had a lot of girlfriends but only with one I was his slave. I think that be sub is a feeling, something that is buried inside, and someone lights up inside of us



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