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How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 5:25:27 PM   
WelshGuyUk


Posts: 23
Joined: 11/20/2007
Status: offline 		*This is not a rant by the way* actually want to know..


For the life of me i dont understand how female subs read first contact messages. What is it that you look for in a message on the first contact? I know you get bombarded so you must be able to tell straight off for some.

I tested the waters trying to different messages and i still see they have read my email but then not replied and deleted the email i sent. So what do you females want in a first message lol?


I can show you a message i sent as a first message that got ignored perhaps you could pick holes at it for me so i can fine tune it ? Am i allowed to do that?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 5:42:43 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WelshGuyUk

*This is not a rant by the way* actually want to know..

I tested the waters trying to different messages and i still see they have read my email but then not replied and deleted the email i sent. So what do you females want in a first message lol?



Well, I'm a Dom, not a sub, but my advice is: quit worrying. If your opening message is literate, non-threatening and free of grammatical errors, you'll eventually get some hits. Some women reply politely even if they're not interested, many don't.

You could be Norman Mailer (well, not anymore) and your messages still might not generate replies.

Just my .02 zlotys.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink -- and Fine Verbiage)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 5:43:27 PM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		Hello WelshGuy,
A simple hello or how are you usually works for me.  I've received messages which were probably meant to be funny and/or cute, however, I hadn't the slightest idea how to reply.  I usually respond with an "ummm....ok". 

I do hate receiving messages where I'm supplied with a Yahoo IM add or an e-mail address.  I usually delete these as I assume they don't require a response.

Hope this helps...

Tina

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 5:47:13 PM   
AngelicAgony


Posts: 57
Joined: 9/12/2007
From: Saskatchewan
Status: offline 		I try to reply to most emails but to get a response I would suggest reading the entire profile and then asking questions.  Maybe I'm just polite but I think if somebody took the time to send me a nice email it would be rude not to respond.

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 6:06:27 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Read the profile, read some posts if she posts. Don't talk about sex or bdsm or send cock pix. Don't assume she has submitted to you, don't demand she strips and web cams. If she says she wants men ten years older than her, don't assume you're the exception because you aren't.

Send two or three sentences and ask a vanilla question  related to her profile, posts or pictures. C & P your profile and email into Word, run a grammar and spelling check on it. You only get one chance to make a first impression, do it right.

And lose the hehe from your profile. Add more vanilla interests.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to AngelicAgony)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 6:08:12 PM   
sweetstorm


Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		I prefer a nice polite email with good sentence structure and a hint that my profile was read. Using my screenname as a salutation is a good idea, I know that the email wasn't a cut and paste. Asking me a specific question about myself or something you read in my profile would be a great way to get a response.

Also, our mailboxes have the ability to sort mail based on our preferences for a partner. Therefore, if you are out of the age range they've selected or out-of-state when they required that, your email goes straight to bulk mail and they never even see it.

_____________________________

You don't need a parachute to skydive.

You need a parachute to skydive twice.

(in reply to AngelicAgony)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 6:36:31 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		When i have gotten an introductory email from someone i first go read the profile information.  If your email is as badly written as your profile, then i wouldn't bother to answer it.  Your first sentence makes absolutely no sense.  Get rid of the "hehe" as it sounds awfully undomly.  Use a grammar and spell check.  Read aloud what you've written so that you know if it sounds like it makes sense.  Don't begin a sentence with the word "And" unless you know how to make a complete sentence. 

Nothing is worse than making a very bad first impression. 

For a first email i look for a friendly, easy to read note.  It should include something that tells me that you actually read my profile.  It should say what attracted you to write to my profile.  I got to know and met a Dom from here because he noted my interest in gardening which was also an interest of his.  We talked about gardens and got to know each other and are still great friends after several years.

Lastly, locate the local munches and dungeons in your area.  Ask questions.  Learn from those with more experience.  It's not going to be easy to find a submissive who is willing to put herself in the hands of someone who has no experience at all and may not know a thing about what he's trying to do. 

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 7:39:50 PM   
Hergirl0824


Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		i met my Mistress through an email She sent me here...it was short but polite and sincere...showed She had indeed read both my profile and my journal entries and was genuine in hoping to get to know me as a person...

you have gotten some very good advice here so far... read and apply as much of it as you can and good luck to you


_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 7:44:14 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Yup.
Spell check.
aJ

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 9:14:29 PM   
NaiveTempest


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		As I just told zimmeron in his post, if your intro message sparks my interest, I'll immediately go look at your profile. Then I take the two and figure out what, if any, message to reply with. I try to respond to most of my messages, but sometimes I just don't get around to it. Usually because I'm not sure what to say. It may sound silly, but it gets tiring coming up with a "thanks, but no" message for each message I get. Some I try to make friends with, but that's not what they want.

I don't really know what I look for in the first message, all I know is some interest me but most don't. I do know what I don't like= expecting immediate submission, name calling, overt sexual overtures, negativity, and wanting IM/email info.

Sorry, I was, like, no help....

< Message edited by NaiveTempest -- 12/27/2007 9:18:53 PM >

_____________________________

"All the things I should have said that I never said/All the things we should have done that we never did/All the things I should have given, but I didn't.../Give me these moments back..."

Kate Bush, "This Woman's Work"

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 10:05:18 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		When I receive a message which shows the writer has actually taken time to read my profile I check his before replying. If I were a slave and checked your profile, my first question would be how old is this person? The sentence structure and spelling leave much to be desired. You come across as a teenager who thinks owning a slave is a sure-fire method to having his sexual needs met.
 
Sorry is my words appear harsh but you asked for advice and I'm giving my opinion.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/27/2007 11:12:20 PM   
jesiul


Posts: 111
Joined: 7/16/2005
Status: offline 		Insofar as a first contact goes, read the profile you are emailing, don’t send a form letter, think about what you might say if you where meeting at a munch or some other lifestyle event.

I have to agree with many whom have stated that your profile reads poorly. Your profile has a few interesting and opposing things in it. Listing that you like strap-ons and are curious about CBT as well as poly, will assuredly get you email from males. The list of dislikes and hates read like a list of inexperience.

A profile is more often your first contact after an email, think about what it says about you.

~jesi~



_____________________________

*When others asked the truth of me, I was convinced it was not the truth they wanted, but an illusion they could bear to live with.*

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/29/2007 9:12:29 PM   
sexyone4you


Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Personally, I look for a well-written letter and profile.  You may want to think about re-working your profile for grammar & spelling, at the very least.  When I read your profile, you struck me as a young boy that wants someone to clean up after him.  If that's not what you are wanting, think about changing it.  I personally respond to all emails I get, even if it's just to say, "No ty" but that's not the norm here.  Also, are you just contacting anyone or are you actually reading the profiles of subs & slaves prior to emailing them?

(in reply to jesiul)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/30/2007 12:40:10 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		And the plea to view your pictures being the first sentence makes you sound kind of... desperate. A simple presentation of self without the pleas is a nice way to go.

juliet

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/30/2007 12:47:21 AM   
sweetstorm


Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Why don't you just post a pic if you want them to see one?

_____________________________

You don't need a parachute to skydive.

You need a parachute to skydive twice.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/30/2007 12:12:14 PM   
littlelostbunny


Posts: 141
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		One-liners are usually ignored, especially if someone calls me "slut," "princess," or theirs, or if they order me to do something.

I also tend to ignore people outside of my state or country, unless they have an interesting topic to chat about. If they ask me about something that I know is covered in my profile, it's a 50/50 based on how intelligible the rest of the message is.


_____________________________

-- Bunny

(in reply to sweetstorm)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How you deal with first impressions - 12/30/2007 4:16:12 PM   
Sirsinini


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Get rid of the "hehe" as it sounds awfully undomly. 


mmmmmm...... sounds like you dont like Doms with their own sense/brand of humor.  {I dont give a flick what his profile does or doesnt say, I didnt look.)    
 

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 17
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