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What do you think? - 12/27/2007 6:13:45 PM   
weneedyourhelp


Posts: 118
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		Hello A/all, I just have a quick question. In my eyes my sub is a beautiful woman, but she does'nt think so. I could really use a little help here. I would like some female opinions primarily, as we all know there isnt enough blood in the male body to control two heads at once. I am curious to see if other women find her attractive. Thanx A/all.

Cougar
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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 6:34:21 PM   
EarthGoddess52


Posts: 70
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		According to your profile, the two of you have been together for a long time (12 years?).  Is this self esteem issue something new or something that's been going on for awhile??  Also, as there is no picture on your profile, it is hard to say whether or not anyone here finds her attractive.  Not to mention that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say.
I know one Dom who, in an effort to boost his sub's self esteem, used to have her stand naked in front of him in front of a mirror.  He would reassure her as to how beautiful she was by mentioning various parts of her anatomy and her personality that he found attractive.  He would gently but firmly force her to really take a look at herself and acknowledge her good points.  We all have good points.  This is painful for many at first, but with time and repetition, it becomes easier and you really begin to believe in yourself!!
Good luck!

(in reply to weneedyourhelp)
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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 6:38:27 PM   
weneedyourhelp


Posts: 118
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		I apologize, I redid the main photo and still waiting for approval. There are other photos on the profile. And I will definatly consider your advice thank you.  :)

Cougar

< Message edited by weneedyourhelp -- 12/27/2007 6:39:56 PM >

(in reply to EarthGoddess52)
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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 6:50:30 PM   
weneedyourhelp


Posts: 118
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		P.S. The self esteem thing started after having 5 children.

Cougar

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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:00:23 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		after having 5 kids any woman is going to start looking at what all those babies have done to her body.  i would think she is going through a natural process, aging, adjusting to her role as mom of five, the changes time and children bring.  it can take alot out of a person.  sounds like she needs her "batteries" recharged a bit.

PM

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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:04:11 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		It does not matter if other women find her attractive or even if you continue to tell her how attractive she is...it only matters if SHE feels attractive. Even the most beautiful women have their down days or periods and after having 5 kids, that could probably cut into someone's self esteem a bit.

Just keep being supportive and don't harp on it, I would suggest to her to do somethings that are good for her mind, body and soul, massage, manicure/pedicure, facial, hair, shopping, spa, get away for a day, that kind of thing.

Even going out with her girlfriends for a cocktail and getting flirted with may rev her engine.

But unless she wants to be judged by strangers on a website where opinions are all subjective, that is my best suggestion.

(in reply to PanthersMom)
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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:07:28 PM   
weneedyourhelp


Posts: 118
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		Fortunatly for us, and four wonderful families, we gave our children up for adoption to couples we picked that could'nt have children of thier own for medical reasons. And we've always known we aren't "parent" material. But I think she looks incredible, especially for having had the kids. Thank you very much.

Cougar

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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:18:39 PM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Wow Cougar

A surrgate times 4. You sub is indeed a special person. My daughter did that for my best friend because she couldnt concieve. Without seeing her the light within her soul has got to have beauty to it and make her shine.

Edited to add: Her pic just popped up while I was posting. Indeed I was right. She is quite beautiful.

I would love to talk to her sometimes about her experience if she cares to. My daughter is the only one I know thats done it. Without the mental repercussions.

< Message edited by SavageFaerie -- 12/27/2007 7:21:48 PM >

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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:23:03 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Well, she's not my type, but she does look pretty.  Is there any reason why there are no "real" photos of her, only "art" photos? Okay, I didn't look at EVERY pic, but I paged thru several, so I might have missed a "real" one.  Are you subconsciously reinforcing to her that she is not at her best in her natural state?

Cali



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(in reply to weneedyourhelp)
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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:25:48 PM   
weneedyourhelp


Posts: 118
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you very much, she is very special. One very special family has our last two. And we get pics monthly which helps her to feel better as well. Your daughter is also very special. :)  All these specials I feel special too....lol  ;)

Cougar

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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:29:05 PM   
weneedyourhelp


Posts: 118
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		Actually those are photos that she did, and chose pending my approval. There is one or two real ones there, and I am still waiting on approval of a few. Thank you very much. :)

Cougar

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:30:19 PM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		This was an open adoption also. And it being my best friend I went to see them at the beginning of Sept. 2 years old now and pretty as they come, and looks more like my maternial side of the family than all 3 of my kids and 2 grandkids LOL

But I wont hijack the intent of the thread. This is a subject I could talk to the ground. Feel to email on the other end or have her if she ever wants to talk to a kindred spirit that fits in this unique catagory.

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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:31:59 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: weneedyourhelp

Fortunatly for us, and four wonderful families, we gave our children up for adoption to couples we picked that could'nt have children of thier own for medical reasons. And we've always known we aren't "parent" material. But I think she looks incredible, especially for having had the kids. Thank you very much.

Cougar


Were these planned surrogacy or you gave up children after she got pregnant?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:40:46 PM   
weneedyourhelp


Posts: 118
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		Actually they were all planned. We wanted the opportunity to contribute to society, (corny I know), not to mention we make beautiful children, (corny again)  but we've always known we aren't parent material. We can barly take care of ourselves half the time .. we weren,t about to try, fail, and mess a childs life up. We have contact with all families involved, and we are reassured we made the right choice every time we get photos and letters. Thank you very much :)

Cougar

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RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:44:34 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Could that be the problem with the self-esteem though?  It can't be easy carrying children and always giving them away even though it's to a good home.  Here people have to go through counseling to even consider giving up their parental rights. Just a suggestion.

She is beautiful, I think the pictures of her that are not modified are much better as she really doesn't need the help of the modification.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:50:58 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		She is sooo pretty!!!

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:52:27 PM   
weneedyourhelp


Posts: 118
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		Honestly, I know it doesn't help. But at that time it was what she wanted to do. I know sometimes she regrets it, she won't tell me so, but I can feel it from time to time. But most of the self esteem issue comes from a scar on her upper lip from when she was a child. She is missing a little piece of her lip, but to her it may as well be the grand canyon. (Hence the touched up pics) I myself do not even see it, unless attenton is being drawn to it. Thats the biggest thing I wish I could help  her get over.  Thank you very much. :)

Cougar

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:53:42 PM   
weneedyourhelp


Posts: 118
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you very much !  I think so too. :)

Cougar

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:55:41 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I don't see any scar and it's really unlikely to be noticable given how attractive she is overall.  You might consider supporting her to see someone about it, the kids thing alone is something people normally grieve even in good circumstances.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to weneedyourhelp)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What do you think? - 12/27/2007 7:57:01 PM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		It does take a strong person to do it. My daughter has two of her own. This one was planned specifically for the reason of being a surrgate. She never let it stay in her mind that the child was hers, she was primarly the oven. She needed no thearpy after and went back to her life with her b/f. Its rarely even brought up and I live in the house with the both of them, a couple of times I offer to show them pics if they want, which sometimes they do sometimes they dont. I have regular contact with the real parents and get tons of piccies of my 'neice'.  We are really by all intents and purposes true blood family now.

Its not something alot of women could do. Tho I have heard tons say after they have their quota of children they miss the pregnancy part and thing they could do it.

And before anyone asks it not at all profitable for the surrgate mother to be the oven. Its a labor of love. All the adoptive parents can do is take care of the mother during the pregnancy ie: medical, housing if there is a need for relocation during pregnancy. For Profit surrgacy is against the law, there can be no profit.

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

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Profile   Post #: 20
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