KindLadyGrey
Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline
|
(fast reply)
A few years ago, I was an independent single woman ready to start a career. Instead, I started a family, and I have been struggling with problems of power ever since. I HATE being dependent on my husband, even though he's a pretty good guy most of the time. I would rather live at an extremely low standard of living than allow anyone else to control me or take away my ability to set priorities and make decisions. (D/s is a different story. . .)
I am female, and I'd definitely say that Power has been one of the central conflicts of my life. Perhaps security would be more of a concern if I had ever been homeless or in poverty. . .I'm not sure. Instead, what I have learned is that there are plenty of people, even well meaning people, who are willing to offer security in exchange for some amount of control. Ever wonder why so many homeless people don't take advantage of shelters? Shelters have curfews, and some of them require residents to attend church services of some kind, or some other "small" requirement. It doesn't sound like that much to suck up and deal with if you are homeless in the winter time, but the exercise of power never does seem that intrusive to those who have it; they always think the simple things they ask are for people's own good. But those on the powerless side of the equation feel it keenly, and resent it. They are very aware that they are surrendering some control of their lives in order for someone else to give them some security, and it really sucks.
My childhood and young adulthood was a constant power struggle. As I got older, my parents tried to use all the things they provided for me as leverage to influence my behavior. I ended up systematically eliminating all of those things, and accepting that it might mean I had to make some cuts. I had a girlfriend in college whose parents threatened not to cosign her student loans if she didn't do what they wanted(be more discreet and proper about her support for feminist and lgbt causes). She dropped out of school for a year, then went back on her own terms without their help. I was very very proud of her for sticking to her principles.
It seems very clear to me that all regular social interaction is full of this kind of power exchange, whether subtle or overt. My fascination with power exchange is one of the things that drew me to this lifestyle in the first place. At least here the power exchange involved is explicit and contractual!
For me, much of life is about power and control. I realize that I am very unique among females in seeing things this way, and that it seems a very cynical way to view the world. When I start talking about, or pointing out these power dynamics to other people, they often find it disturbing.
So, to answer the question, I very clearly do not fall into the "norm" of the OP's statement. My problems are all about power.
PS: My profile will tell you I'm a libertarian. Everyone should be very very proud of me for keeping this post close to home and not ranting about politics, government, and power. Seriously. I deserve cookies for being good! Give me cookies!
|
Power and Security - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread