RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to?

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[Poll]

BDSM deception...how much will you admit to?

I have never told anyone anything other than the truth.

69% (39)

I told a few fibs when I was starting out.

12% (7)

I created a "backstory" for myself but dropped it a few years ago.

0% (0)

I created a "backstory" for myself and still use it.

5% (3)

I have no experience but my "backstory", but everything else is true.

1% (1)

I am not who/what I say I am.

1% (1)

I have four profiles, one for each gender and side of the slash.

8% (5)

Total Votes : 56

(last vote on : 2/4/2008 1:46:36 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 2:42:40 PM

MistressFaye1

Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
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I tell the truth but when one of my daughters asked me if I whip my submissives, I said, "Oh no...not me, I'm a gentle Domme."

Damn, I don't think she believed me!

Faye

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 2:53:59 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
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From: Rochester, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

What's a back story?

A back story would be something you make up about yourself to give yourself more years if experience than you actually have. You tell people you have been doing this for 10 years, and name some defunct clubs where you used to play, when, in actuality, you are about 6 months removed from Castle Realm. In other words, it is making up experience.

Taggard

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 3:03:40 PM

SL4V3M4YB3

Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
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Ahh you mean like black ops military style undercover work?

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 3:08:01 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Well now I guess it depends on what someone considers a lie. If it is by omission and on here, then yes. I don't blab my whole life story and so forth online. Now if someone has a reasonable chance of being someone I might be interested in meeting......then they get the straight scoop.

I think this statement is pretty equal to where I am. I will often say I am not comfortable sharing that information with you rather than making something up, but that changes once I get to a comfort zone with them. I often tell people that inquire in the first few minutes of the conversation what my profession is that I am a rodeo clown. It is a joke, meant to illustrate that it's not really all that relevant at that point in the conversation/emails. You would however be suprised at how many actually believe I meant it.

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 3:48:49 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RazorJAK

Regarding BDSM, I've never told falsehoods of experiences I've had etc etc etc ...

Regarding my youth, of course I've told lies.

"I won't cum in your mouth."
"I'll call you."
"Damn, that was fantastic."

Mine when I was much younger:

No, you're not small

Of course I came too

I am a virgin

(the above I just made up but I thought it sounded funny anyhow)

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Post #: 25

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 3:58:34 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuffnspankme

I do not see the point in making things up or in telling a lie.

i don't see the point in admitting to making things up

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Post #: 26

RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 4:20:01 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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On policy, I don't lie. I can't stand being lied to and try to follow the golden rule regarding my expectation of honesty. I didn't have to lie to Daddy when we met re: my experience or lack thereof. He introduced me to the S&M part of it, as I've always been sexually "liberal." He knew I didn't have a clue, and I didn't have to make anything up, to him or anyone. Now, almost 5 years later, I have a lot more experience and a lot of lifestyle friends who know what Daddy and I do when we play publicly, and most of them know the kinds of things that we like to do privately because we discuss that stuff when we hang out. I don't think people who are new or inexperienced should be embarassed at their lack of real-time play, but they should be forthcoming about it since the potential for getting hurt physically is real if you tell a lie which your partner relies as being the truth.

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 5:18:40 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Well now I guess it depends on what someone considers a lie. If it is by omission and on here, then yes. I don't blab my whole life story and so forth online. Now if someone has a reasonable chance of being someone I might be interested in meeting......then they get the straight scoop.

I think this statement is pretty equal to where I am. I will often say I am not comfortable sharing that information with you rather than making something up, but that changes once I get to a comfort zone with them. I often tell people that inquire in the first few minutes of the conversation what my profession is that I am a rodeo clown. It is a joke, meant to illustrate that it's not really all that relevant at that point in the conversation/emails. You would however be suprised at how many actually believe I meant it.

except via prima facia evidence her words are a lie, ain't nothing 'straight' about ol' LaT.

Forrest Gump

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 5:37:17 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I don't lie either, but I don't tell my whole story. And you know, my sister has made my life really easy. She's a little wilder and loudmouthed than I am, and she's also in the scene. She has been so upfront that my family just shakes their heads and won't talk about it. So, I don't need to talk about it - she covered it all. lol...

But as for friends and colleagues - they all just think I'm very open sexually and they think it's cool. As for strangers? Well, you know I rather look like ... nope I can't even try to make up a lie.

Being honest though has cost me a bit. I do have a couple of fibs in my profile... I'm 90% sub but have an occasional Domme streak - I don't put that in my profile because I don't want to be inundated by emails from male subs. I'm 90% straight with an occasional lesbian streak - I don't put that in my profile because I was unundated with email from many many lesbian Dommes when it said bisexual. I got tired of writing the same "no thank you." And, no I don't live in the city I have listed - I live in a tiny little conservative town near that big city. Nobody's ever heard of my town, except the people here. And I don't want to lose my job.

peace

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 6:32:00 PM

TheHeretic

Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
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Judging from those poll results, you maybe should have added an "I even lie to myself about how deceptive I am" option...

If the goal is to have a r/l relationship develop, lies are counter-productive.

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 7:39:08 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
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To the OP..have I lied about my experience to anyone within the realm of BDSM or D/s?....NO...but I think that also that could be because the pressure for a submissive female to be experienced in WIITWD is not as desired ,as experience in the Dominant side of the slash. As a submissive female I do not feel that pressure to be more than who or what I am..I feel the pressure that a submissive female experiences, and may lie about ,come in a more tangible venue ie: appearance,age,Um's or not,health (mental, physical),issues of this nature are what I have noticed some submissives may be deceptive about..Have I been deceptive in the areas that I have named..YES..back when I first came upon the internet thing, but have realized that deception rarely gets you anywhere but creating hurt in your life and someone elses......So hence, I Tempting always tell the truth as I know it!...Tempting..:0)

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 8:26:45 PM

KnOcala

Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
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P have not told anyone anything other then the truth. Its hard enough trying to become active and meet nore people with similar interests and dishonesty wouldn't make life any easier.
I've been through enough, if someone doesn't like me then thats one less mistake for me to make.

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RE: BDSM deception...how much will you admit to? - 12/28/2007 9:23:36 PM

dreamofthemoon

Posts: 10666
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I've tried to be as honest as I can in everything. Although I might have told a few little white lies in the beginning, I think that was just the nervousness getting to me.

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