Approaching Strangers... (Full Version)

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SubmissiveGael -> Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 5:29:01 AM)

Ever walked right up to a stranger and asked if they were into BDSM?!!

I was standing in a bar last night and a woman started talking to me. Being attractive and obviously full of confidance, I was immediately interested in replying! She asked me, within about 10 sentences, if I knew what BDSM was. I nearly fell over, it was so unexpected. Well I thought all my wishes were coming true at once, but she was married and merely making conversation ;(

Anyhoo, has anyone here actually done this? I know I would find it hard to approach someone with the topic if I didn't know already that ther were in the lifestyle.

S.G.




wisteriaV -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 5:40:38 AM)

Master always accompanies me to my doctors appointments. Nine times out of ten he will think of things to ask that I might forget to ask. One time when I was in a gyno. appointment, the doctor looked up and said your pussy lips are a bit bruised what happened..without blinking an eye I told him we are a M/s couple and I enjoy the BDSM play aspects..without missing a beat the doctor said thats cool and finished the exam. I am not ashamed of who and what I am. I make it a point to tell any medical professional that we have an alternative life choice, if they can't accept it, we find another medical professional.




christine1 -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 5:48:37 AM)

wysteria, i appreciate your input here.  i am currently looking for a new doctor...i was at an appt. a few weeks ago and i have some tiny scars on one of my breasts from some play a few years ago.   the doc asked me about them and i told her why they are there and she looked at me like i had just beamed myself down from mars, i left before she finished the exam.  i wonder if a male doctor would be more open minded...




shariah -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 5:57:45 AM)

No, I have never walked up to a stranger and asked that question but I have asked people I have gotten to know.   Some run, others admit they are involved, and still others are curious to know more.

I have actually found myself surprised with the number of people who are open minded about BDSM. 

In regards to medical professionals....you may be surprised how many Doctors attend munches and events.  (Nothing more hot about finding a Gyn that is also a Dom.  lol.

Shariah




taintedgypsy -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 6:07:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shariah

... In regards to medical professionals....you may be surprised how many Doctors attend munches and events.  (Nothing more hot about finding a Gyn that is also a Dom.  lol.

Shariah


ooook so dreams really do come true lol




shariah -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 6:08:52 AM)

uh huh..LOL




wisteriaV -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 6:34:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

wysteria, i appreciate your input here.  i am currently looking for a new doctor...i was at an appt. a few weeks ago and i have some tiny scars on one of my breasts from some play a few years ago.   the doc asked me about them and i told her why they are there and she looked at me like i had just beamed myself down from mars, i left before she finished the exam.  i wonder if a male doctor would be more open minded...

As to not hijack the thread I am e-mailing you a response.




Lordandmaster -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 6:39:30 AM)

Actually, I'd guess she was fuckin' with ya, because most people don't say "Do you know what BDSM is?" just to make conversation.  I guess you didn't get her number?

A good example of why it's hard to meet someone in a bar.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubmissiveGael

I was standing in a bar last night and a woman started talking to me. Being attractive and obviously full of confidance, I was immediately interested in replying! She asked me, within about 10 sentences, if I knew what BDSM was. I nearly fell over, it was so unexpected. Well I thought all my wishes were coming true at once, but she was married and merely making conversation ;(




lockmeupplease -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 6:41:10 AM)

I would need a really strong clue.  For example, I was in a bar chatting with a woman and spotted what to me appeared to be rope-marks on her wrist.  I forget exactly how I posed the question, but she responded that someone had gotten a little carried away tying her up and the conversation went from there...




Dominatist -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 7:12:09 AM)

I once had an obviously very attractive single female ask me if I was into BDSM on a sort of impromptu date. I said yes I know what it is and have a little experience not wanting to overdo it. She shook her head and winced as if it was something terrible.

Could not trust her from there on so I 'gave' her to the barternder.




sexyred1 -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 7:22:23 AM)

I wish there was a way to tell just by looking...when I am in the grocery store or post office and I see someone hot and we just make eye contact, I often wish I had a special telepathic power to speak to them and find out if they are into BDSM. So far, that power has not revealed itself....




cbtok -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 7:39:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I wish there was a way to tell just by looking…


Depends on the venue, of course. Certain clubs are BDSM friendly even though they're not BDSM clubs per se. Additionally, one venue that has been a major BDSM gathering place is science fiction conventions. Before local BDSM clubs started holding conventions, the sci-fi gatherings have been the means to meet.

And nobody I have ever met at a science fiction convention ever questioned that approach.

I do have to admit, I tend to not ask in grocery stores.

But certain articles of clothing and certain ways of carrying one's self tend to indicate.




BayouSub -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 7:40:07 AM)

quote:

I wish there was a way to tell just by looking...when I am in the grocery store or post office and I see someone hot and we just make eye contact, I often wish I had a special telepathic power to speak to them and find out if they are into BDSM. So far, that power has not revealed itself....


I think those of us into BDSM need to develope a set of secret signals so we can identify each other in the vanilla world. 




sexyred1 -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 7:44:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cbtok

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I wish there was a way to tell just by looking…


Depends on the venue, of course. Certain clubs are BDSM friendly even though they're not BDSM clubs per se. Additionally, one venue that has been a major BDSM gathering place is science fiction conventions. Before local BDSM clubs started holding conventions, the sci-fi gatherings have been the means to meet.

And nobody I have ever met at a science fiction convention ever questioned that approach.

I do have to admit, I tend to not ask in grocery stores.

But certain articles of clothing and certain ways of carrying one's self tend to indicate.


Well, men do tend to hit on me in grocery stores, but they are usually married or vanilla, so something is wrong with that approach.

And what articles of clothing would one wear in a vanilla setting to indicate an interest in BDSM? I don't usually go to the post office or Target wearing my cuffs or collar, LOL and I carry myself always the same way, like a cool East Coast girl. [;)]




KatyLied -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 7:48:09 AM)

quote:

I don't usually go to the post office or Target wearing my cuffs or collar


I'm sorry you didn't get the memo regarding what the cool sublier than thou chicks wear when going out in public.



[:D]




sexyred1 -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 7:51:41 AM)

katy, around here, no one would probably blink and eye anyway if I wore that, they would think I was an older, sort of goth/ Jewish American Princess type!!! BDSM would not even cross anyone's jaded minds!!!




juliaoceania -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 7:53:02 AM)

I have seen two different women with locking collars in my community, and one with a locking anklet... I was tempted to ask them if they were submissives.




sweetstorm -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 8:09:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have seen two different women with locking collars in my community, and one with a locking anklet... I was tempted to ask them if they were submissives.


If I were wearing my collar in public and someone asked me if I were a submissive, I would be so excited to find someone else in the community that understood! It'd be like throwing out a secret code that only those in the secret club understood.  [;)]




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 8:10:07 AM)

no but i've had strangers/bands especially drummers commenting on my collars and chains




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Approaching Strangers... (12/29/2007 8:11:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have seen two different women with locking collars in my community, and one with a locking anklet... I was tempted to ask them if they were submissives.

collars are the latest fashion craze these in Chicago especially with the local news anchorwomen - i simply don't ask




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