Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master



Message

randimichelle -> Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (12/29/2007 5:32:36 AM)

Hi everyone. Although i participate in the main part of collarme, over the years i haven't much participated here in the forums, which was probably a mistake on my part.

i am a submissive, fifty-something TG and a situation has come up and i have questions.

i am making changes in my life so that starting approximately March 1, 2008, i am going to again live full-time as randi in a female role. This means 24/7 as well as getting a job as a woman. i have a standing offer to take a job as an administrative assistant so that issue has already been solved.

Over the years, in conversations with several different potential Masters here on collarme (you know who you are), I had discussions with them regarding what my collaring ceremony might be like. As i see my collaring as something like a marriage, it's always been my hope that when the time comes, i will wear a wedding gown and that it will be a very public, and for me, a very humiliating affair. The reason for this is because i have always compartmentalized my life so that almost all of my vanilla friends have no idea of my "other" life. I envision that as i am collared, this will no longer be the case as my collaring/wedding ceremony will probably be the first time that most will see me as randi, fully feminized.

While this is aimed primarily at the Masters here with collared TG slave, certainly i would welcome comments from anyone, especially any of my TG sisters who are now collared and especially those whose Masters have been responsible for their feminization.

So to the Masters (and Mistresses) here reading this, please explain to me what it was that you required of your slaves as far as a collaring ceremony was concerned. And if you were able to incorporate elements of a wedding ceremony (possibly at the insistance of your TG slave/wife) please let me know how this impacted the ceremony. And did you require your slave's family and friends attend the ceremony and if so, what was your impressions of how they reacted to seeing a loved one or friend collared?

While we all have fantasies, from what i can tell, there are quite a few TGs out there who have entered into consensual slavery agreements, many of whom were nominally male at the start of the process and who are now essentially female slaves. Certainly feel free to post here or contact me directly with your experiences. i want to move forward knowing something what to expect and feel that this is a good place to expand my knowledge bank.

As i am serious about this (several members of collarme have met me so they know that i am for real and am 100% serious about this), please give me an idea of how this all plays out. While i currently have no one Master seriously considering my enslavement, i am talking with two different potential Masters so if something should move forward, i want to be prepared.

Happy New Year to all.

randi michelle truesdell



kinkypuppy2 -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (12/29/2007 1:39:41 PM)

She was already collared when we were married, nice little church  she wore a "O-dress" and walked up to alter first. then knelt and waited for me to come down the isle.
She stayed on her knees threwout then we walked down the isle.
Was a nice blend of kink and vanilla for those vanilla people present



sweetstorm -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (12/29/2007 2:01:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: randimichelle

Over the years, in conversations with several different potential Masters here on collarme (you know who you are), I had discussions with them regarding what my collaring ceremony might be like. As i see my collaring as something like a marriage, it's always been my hope that when the time comes, i will wear a wedding gown and that it will be a very public, and for me, a very humiliating affair. The reason for this is because i have always compartmentalized my life so that almost all of my vanilla friends have no idea of my "other" life. I envision that as i am collared, this will no longer be the case as my collaring/wedding ceremony will probably be the first time that most will see me as randi, fully feminized.



I understand your wants and that this would make the commitment for you a very meaningful experience. However, please consider that by "humiliating" yourself in front of vanilla friends and family, they will also feel very uncomfortable and this isn't fair to them.  Please don't torture the 'nillas, they are people too.  [;)]



CalifChick -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (12/29/2007 3:29:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkypuppy2

She was already collared when we were married, nice little church  she wore a "O-dress" and walked up to alter first. then knelt and waited for me to come down the isle.
She stayed on her knees threwout then we walked down the isle.
Was a nice blend of kink and vanilla for those vanilla people present



Is your definition of an "O dress" the same as mine?  Her breasts were completely exposed?  I would not call that a "nice blend" of anything for the vanilla people.

Cali



AnimusRex -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (12/29/2007 4:54:51 PM)

This thread interests Me, since I also wish to blend the BDSM and vanilla sides of My life. I agree that while we are not ashamed of our personal lives, not everyone will feel the same level of comfort- a private collaring of course can be as wildly kinky or humiliating as one wishes, if it were entirely within the BDSM community.
However, a "Marriage" is by most definitions a public affair, with grannies, offspring, all generations gathered together to wish the couple well.

So in My profile I have stated what I feel is a suitable blend, which is that I wish to find a submissive woman who will be comfortable standing in front of family and friends and saying openly that she will "love, honor, and obey" Me. This is, by contemporary standards, somewhat shockingly Patriarchal and archaic, but seems perfectly adequate to indicate the sort of relationship between a Master and slave, without forcing our kink on those who would be offended by it.
Lets not forget that the origins of marriage were remarkably Patriarchal, with the woman being chattel passed from Father to Husband. So we don't need to do a lot of modification to it to make it suit our needs.



masterlink65 -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (1/1/2008 8:55:47 AM)

sounds to me like your wants and fantasies outwheigh your needs and reality. trying to focus on 2 different potential masters, and the whole time you are trying to live your fantasy.

red flag
red flag
red flag



azropedntied -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (1/1/2008 9:55:08 AM)

cali i was thinkin that same thing ,O collar  in a nilla wedding ? oooh well , as long as they dug it .



MasterofScyn -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (1/1/2008 10:11:58 AM)

Why are people so quick to judge other people? I'm sure they did things in a tastful manner, considering it was also a wedding. Never know they may have altered the dress a little to fit the scene for family and such... I can't say for certain, but neither can anyone else.
 
 A wedding/collaring mix type thing sounds awesome to me. For me though, My collar is a tattoo and my wedding is going to be an outside normal wedding. His side of the family is pretty religious, they wouldn't understand if we tried to put in a collaring part in there. Though, wearing a shiny silver collar that doesn't appear to be a collar for the wedding would be cool for me. I can't give you any of my experience in this cuz it hasn't happened yet, but there are plans for the future. =)
 
Wish you lotta luck with you goals and hope you find the right Master/Mistress for you.
 
Scyn ~



AquaticSub -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (1/1/2008 10:30:34 AM)

~Fast Reply~

A nice mix sounds wonderful, but humilating you in front of family and friends who have never seen you before in the d/s role?

Have some care for them and their feelings. You don't invite prudish but beloved Great-Great-Aunt Jean to a nudist wedding without giving her warning. I know my Dad couldn't stand seeing me humilated in public in front of all our family and friends on purpose and I wouldn't do that to him.

Maybe you can have your very public and very humilating ceremony away from family and friends. I have seen one actual and legal wedding take place on stage in a packed BDSM event, you could probably arrange another. I mean, what's more better: being humilated in front of people who care about you and making those people uncomfortable or being humilated in front of hundreds of strangers who don't know about you and are getting off inside on your humilation (which, to me anyway, would make the whole thing even more humilating) and cheering him on?



MasterofScyn -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (1/1/2008 11:02:11 AM)

There's the judging again... You can have a tasteful wedding/mix w/out the nudity or extremes involved. I will admitt I do not know what they meant by being humilated, perhaps it is just about having the collar placed around their neck. Doesn't have to mean that they are going to or fantasizing about a nude wedding full of porn. No where did such things were mentioned.
 
Humilation could in form of anything. Like that one dude, his wife was kneeling by his side the whole time. She was up at the altar before he was waiting for him. To lot of people, that would be a form of humiliation.
 
The OP isn't far off base in my opinion, it's things like this that make it sound like her idea is a bad one. They know who all is going to be there and who can or can not handle such things. It could be as simple as kneeling down before your Master as he puts the collar on when the time is right, instead of ring. That could be humilating in some fashion. Why does humilation have to deal with showing your stuff in front of people? Humilation has many forms..
 
Scyn ~



AquaticSub -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (1/1/2008 11:11:30 AM)

*Shrugs*

She said very humilating and that her family and friends would see her in the role, and did not say what that means. That leaves me to guess and something where no one else knows what is going on isn't humilating to me. My guess, based on what was written, is that it would be clear that she would be being humilated. If that's judging, I can certainly live with that. If she comes back and posts further details that shows my guess to be incorrect, I would be happy to retract my advice and offer support as I have done in other cases.

PS. I wasn't assuming she would have any amount of nudity. The nudist wedding thing was simply an example of "Don't invite people to an event that would make them uncomfortable". It just happened to be the first thing that popped into my mind as one of the more unusual stories I've heard about weddings was a nudist wedding where the guests weren't warned.



DrkJourney -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (1/1/2008 11:23:00 AM)

I've thought about this for years.   I've always thought of just having two ceremonies. One for the family and one for the "family"...lol  

I know that my conservative southern family and friends couldn't take a collaring no matter how you vanilla it up, and I just wouldn't want to make them uncomfortable.

I've thought about just having something private, maybe in our hotel room after the regular ceremony, making the room special, and expressing our love and committment to each other as Domme and slave.  This could be done with just the two of us, or invite our bdsm friends to join us, since they will be at the wedding any way.

I'll let you know when it happens...lol



DrkJourney -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (1/1/2008 11:33:29 AM)

it's always been my hope that when the time comes, i will wear a wedding gown and that it will be a very public, and for me, a very humiliating affair. The reason for this is because i have always compartmentalized my life so that almost all of my vanilla friends have no idea of my "other" life. I envision that as i am collared, this will no longer be the case as my collaring/wedding ceremony will probably be the first time that most will see me as randi, fully feminized.

What am I seeing in this statement, is that when she says being humlitated, that she means that it will be embarrassing for her because this wedding will be the first time that most of her family and friends will see her as a "she"

My only advice is, by all means have your dream wedding, everyone deserves that...but I would definitely let people know what's going on.  Don't let the first time they find out about the new you when they see you walking down the isle.  I think your special day will be much better if you let people know first, less chance of outburst and gestures that could ruin the day.



randimichelle -> RE: Wedding/Collaring Ceremony Questions (1/3/2008 8:15:11 AM)

Thank you everyone for all the advice, i really appreciate it. DrkJourney seemed to grasp best what i was trying to say, that my wedding would be the first time that family and friends would see me fully feminized as randi. That in and of itself would be very humiliating but that i also want them to see me accept my new position/role by being collared. It is probably unrealistic but i initially posted to see if anyone elese, especially a submissive male being feminized, had undergone anything similar.

Taking a step back, has anyone reading this, either a formerly submissive male like me being feminized, or their Master, been involved in anything like this and if so, what was the experience like?

randi



Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125