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quietkitten -> Jack who?? (8/21/2005 8:59:57 PM)
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Who is Jack Schitt?
For some time, many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says "You don't know Jack
Schitt !" Well, thanks to my geneology efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced
six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the
twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap
Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt
later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them,
she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they
produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the
Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the
paper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now, when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct
them
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
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